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Who's Got Your Back: The Breakthrough Program to Build Deep, Trusting Relationships That Create Success--and Won't Let You Fail Hardcover – May 19, 2009
Learning Leadership: The Five Fundamentals of Becoming an Exemplary Leader
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Every semester at Harvard Business School, on the last day of class I deliver a lecture, not on building and sustaining a successful enterprise, but rather on building and sustaining a happy life.
I often start with something like, “In just a few months you’ll graduate and embark on what to many, including your selves, will be prestigious, lucrative, high-profile careers. But if you want to also have happy lives, you need to know the purpose of your life. Take the time, even if it’s at midnight each night, to figure out what you are meant to do. Or in the words of my colleague Howard Gardner, learn to cultivate existential intelligence, or the ability to make meaning of life.”
One of my personal missions is to inspire others to discover their purpose in life. As such, what started as a lecture has now become a book I co-authored with James Allworth and Karen Dillon. While our book focuses on individuals across the board, Whitney Johnson’s book Dare, Dream, Do further drills down on the topic by thinking through the question of how do women build a happy life. Through powerful storytelling, she dares women to rethink their current fundamentals, to measure their life by the only yardstick that matters – what she specifically is meant to do, including the importance of teaching her children to dream. The book then moves to provide women with specific tools for identifying what it is they were meant to do, recognizing that creating a meaningful life emerges from answering the deepest questions about our life’s purpose.
It concludes with the injunction to simply begin. It may be frightening at first. There will be much that you can’t predict. But it is only in the doing, that you can ultimately build and sustain a happy life. For anyone who has pondered the question, “what should I do with my life,” for anyone who is seeking fresh inspiration, advice and tactics, I recommend Dare, Dream, Do. Whether your purpose is to circle the globe or draw your family circle, Dare, Dream, Do helps make that discovery possible.
Mehmet C. Oz, MD, is the author (with Michael F. Roizen) of such New York Times bestselling books as YOU: The Owner's Manual, YOU: Staying Young, YOU: Being Beautiful, and YOU: On a Diet, and the health expert of The Oprah Winfrey Show. He is professor and vice-chairman of surgery at New York Presbyterian Columbia University and the medical director of the Integrated Medicine Center and the director of the Heart Institute. Read his exclusive Amazon guest review of Who's Got Your Back:
So many of us are caught in a constant tug-of-war between work and wellness. Keith Ferrazzi’s Who’s Got Your Back offers a strategy to execute on your most ambitious plans without costing your happiness, well-being, or sanity--in fact his program promises to enhance them by building deeper, more supportive relationships. Ferrazzi offers a nine-step approach to building what he calls “lifeline relationships,” an inner circle of deep, trusting peer support partners who serve as advisors, cheerleaders, and accountability watchdogs. These are more than colleagues, more than friends--they are true, caring comrades in arms who respect you enough to tell you like it is. The gem of this program is that Keith pays attention to the mechanisms that have been proven to make change stick--a striking difference between most self-help programs and Ferrazzi’s signature “let others help.” What’s more, with Who’s Got Your Back you’ll create relationships that are meaningful well beyond your shared success--a rare and welcome gift in the world of professional development.
Read an interview with Keith Ferrazzi, author of Who's Got Your Back [PDF].
Top Customer Reviews
Keith uses an interesting device to keep the reader engaged: he makes you complicit in his own mentoring or "lifeline" process, as he calls it. Far from lecturing, he is often, and very appealingly, an imperfect student of his own insights. Severals times I found myself saying "Keith, you are doing it again...". Just as his treasured lifeline people must do. This quirk really makes his point and lets the reader immediately relate to the value of what he suggests.
I read this book at an interesting time: finding myself at a personal plateau with no obvious mentors and, as well, being asked to mentor someone whom I had no clue how to help. This book was very provocative for me on both fronts.
1) The Four Mindsets: Intimacy, Generosity, Vulnerability, Candor
This follows up on the mindsets Ferrazzi explored in his first book, Never Eat Alone. Building relationships, and repairing relationships, using these mindsets will greatly enhance and fuel all types of relationships, and increase your chances of maintaining strong, successful alliances. These four mindsets are core to building trust.
2) Building a Dream Team: We all have dreams, and we need strong relationships to help us realize those dreams. Once we've accepted that conducting our relationships through the lens of the four mindsets contributes to our success, building a dream team to help us fuel our success is the next logical step. Ferrazzi outlines nine steps to building a dream team. Not sure if the steps work or not, since Ferrazzi doesn't present hardcore evidence that actual, real live individuals have used these steps successfully, but Ferrazzi's nine steps includes many practical and tactical ideas that logically should work, and seem worth trying.
3) Holding Each Member Accountable: Without accountability in the group and among individuals, teams become lazy, complacent, loose focus, and derail. Ferrazzi does a nice job of explaining safe ways to implement accountability measures into your organizational, or dream, teams.
What I Didn't Like About This Book:
As was the standard in Never Eat Alone, Ferrazzi does lots of name dropping. In Who's Got Your Back, my eyes again glassed over with all the name-dropping. Ferrazzi's message would have been much stronger and clearer without all the lip service.
As with the last book, I did not agree with the author on every point, but still very much enjoyed the read. The book strikes a nice balance between the motivation and the tactical details on how to get started. I've put several of authors' suggestions into practice and I am already enjoying their results.
Maybe it is, maybe it isn't, but the editorial finesse of Tal Raz is missing, and, frankly, if I hear one more story about his other-side-of-the-tracks working class background in Latrobe I think I just might scream. Get over yourself, Keith. You've made it. Move on and let's get some business done.
The concept, however, is good, and well executed, even if in too many words. Some of the fundamental approaches to assembling a 'personal board of directors' have been discussed elsewhere and better, but Ferrazzi does pull together several of these varying approaches.
The additional workbooks available on Ferrazzi's web site make the ideas come alive, and the properly motivated reader can get right to work implementing the ideas.
But the middle third of the book is dreadfully slow and tedious, and it is nowhere near the breezy read "Never Eat Alone" is.
Most Recent Customer Reviews
Ferrazzi introduces some good ideas about building trusting relationships.Published 4 months ago by MLeland
There are a lot of pages in this book that you can skip. I began reading and about an hour later I'm on page102. Read morePublished 6 months ago by Maximus P.
The concepts are great and I will be keeping them in mind as they are very useful. However, it's a little long in my opinion. Read morePublished 13 months ago by Joe Sabado
This is an essential book for the seasoned executive and for those that have leadership in their sights.Published 14 months ago by Ronald E. Joyal
Kind of a poor follow up. And much more soft and fuzzy than particularly direct or helpful advice in my opinion.Published on May 8, 2014 by Caddock
This book is very good. The basic message of the book is that, whether in personal or work matters, having a support group greatly helps you accomplish your goals and objective.Published on March 19, 2014 by Michael D. Fielding
Yes it's good to have people in your inner circle, but "Never Eat Alone" did touch on that subject with a tad more emphasis on how to actually develop these types of... Read morePublished on March 4, 2014 by E