Whose Life is it Anyway? When to Stop Taking Care of Their Feelings & Start Taking Care of Your Own [Paperback]

Nina W. Brown (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: October 1, 2002

Psychologist and author Nina Brown helps readers who are over-involved with loved ones shield themselves against their emotional needs and start to focus on their own. Does your mother's desire to complain about how thoughtless your father was last night override your need to get to work on time? Do you really have nothing better to do on Saturday night than to ferry your little brother home from the movies, or help your sister debug her relationship with her boyfriend? If you tend to drop everything in your own life whenever a family member needs you, then you join the ranks of the millions others who are over-involved with their families. Over-involved family members get so swallowed by their loved ones' problems that they often lose sight of who they are and what they really want. This kind of excessive empathy becomes a problem when the needs of others determine every move you make and inhibit your ability to take care of yourself and get on with your own life. In Whose Life Is It Anyway? psychologist and author Nina Brown starts by helping readers evaluate their own family ties and decide if they are too caught up in other's needs. She goes on to provide a variety of techniques to help readers shield themselves from the needs of others, build strong boundaries, strengthen parts of their personalities against a tendency toward excessive empathy, and stay free of dominating or manipulative relationships.

Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Nina Brown, Ed.D., is a professor of counselling at Old Dominion University. An expert on family dynamics, Dr. Brown is the author of nine books. She lives in Virginia Beach, Virginia.

Product Details

• Paperback: 182 pages
• Publisher: New Harbinger Publications, Inc; 1 edition (October 1, 2002)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1572242892
• ISBN-13: 978-1572242890
• Product Dimensions: 9.1 x 6.3 x 0.6 inches
• Shipping Weight: 9.6 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 3.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (6 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #181,191 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

52 of 55 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Learn How to Live Your Own Life, August 3, 2002

By 

Devin J. Starlanyl (W. Chesterfield, NH USA) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

Amazon Verified Purchase

This review is from: Whose Life is it Anyway? When to Stop Taking Care of Their Feelings & Start Taking Care of Your Own (Paperback)

This book is amazing. They say that the support group for children of functional families is the smallest in the world. This book is for the rest of us. If you have ever done something you didn't want to do because you lacked psychological strength of self and adequate boundary control, or if you have ever had someone else violate your boundaries in other ways, you need this book. It will help you identify the reasons you have allowed boundary intrusion, and will teach you how to mature into a self-directed person with healthier relationships.

8 of 8 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Ignore the naysayers..., August 3, 2008

By 

Lamb and Martyr (a grain of sand) - See all my reviews

Amazon Verified Purchase

This review is from: Whose Life is it Anyway? When to Stop Taking Care of Their Feelings & Start Taking Care of Your Own (Paperback)

Detailed and practical this book is filled with great information and exercises to get you thinking about the ways we invite and the ways to work out of the grasp of the varied vampires, Machiavellians, narcissists, sadists, or combination there of that might have infected YOUR LIFE.

Chapters

1-Overwhelmed, Enmeshed and Manipulated

2-Emotional susceptibility and Seduction

3-YOU ARE NOT ALWAYS RESPONSIBLY FOR OTHERS (I LIKE THIS ONE A LOT!)

4-Let others have their feelings. (Brilliant! Yes What a concept!)

5-How You Play Into Others' Hands

6-Psychological Strength

7-Emotional Strength

8-Your Creative Self

9-Your Inspirational Self

10- Better Relationships

References

More than 10 exercises dispersed throughout the chapters to do or not. If you don't do them it won't effect your ability to get through the rest of the material either.

Just what I needed to boost me out of the caregivers rut and narcissistic family.

Read and get on with YOUR LIFE! ;-)

5 of 7 people found the following review helpful:

1.0 out of 5 stars Save your money, October 13, 2007

By 

Steven Lance "writeon" (Columbus, Ohio) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Whose Life is it Anyway? When to Stop Taking Care of Their Feelings & Start Taking Care of Your Own (Paperback)

I took the title of my review from someone else who wrote about this book.

I expected intelligent essays and all this book has is a shopping list of ideas. The author does not explore any of her ideas.

This book is a sorry excuse for a book; it is more like a brainstorming activity or a better phrase would be, it is merely like a shopping list.

I read it twice and was afraid I was missing some gems. The fact is the book is missing any real content. It is a real joke that the publisher put this book in print.

One of my favorite authors is Elaine Aron who wrote the Highly Sensitive Person. Elaine has more useful information on her web site than Ms. Brown has in this book. Save your money!!!!!