Customer Reviews

Whose Child? : An Adoptee's Healing Journey from Relinquishment through Reunion ... and Beyond

5 star:		(26)
4 star:		(1)
3 star:		(0)
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1 star:		(0)

 

 

Whose Child? is simultaneously moving and disturbing, for in her retelling, Kasey Hamner presents the complex fabric of human relationships with an unusual commonality of candour and compassion. Within the framework of a straightforward, direct style, the sense of alienation and loneliness which is a common experience amongst many adoptees is made even more accessible to those who know nothing of the experience and deepens the poignancy of the story.
Not every adoptee's story involves abuse. Even though I admit to not being able to imagine what the emotional consequences of such an experience can be, the emotional landscape is depicted with such clarity, that it was not difficult to either empathise or identify with many instances recounted in the book.
Reflections on one's own adoptive experience while reading the book is inevitable and Kasey Hamner's strength and courage in acknowledging the essential nature of her circumstances as they changed and evolved, are exemplary for anyone affected by adoption. "Whose Child?" is more than one person's story; it is a lesson in living life on life's terms, and speaks of an infinite grace in a willingness to accept and thereby, heal.

Once I had finished reading Whose Child, I mailed Kasey to thank her for having contributed a singularly important facet missing from the closure of my own adoptive experience: I wrote:
I received your books and have finished Whose Child? I found myself reflected in many of the pages and reading such an account of a life of pain has brought forward several questions, regarding my own journey... In as much as reading an account of someone else's pain can be pleasurable, I did enjoy the way you wrote it...

...Whose Child? has been a sincere lesson for me in fearlessness and I would like to thank you for that. It has given me unexpected insight and I am deeply appreciative of it...

Reading this book leaves much to admire.

Once I started reading Whose Child?, I could not put the book down. I am an adoptee who has searched, found and reunited, like Kasey, only to find more obstacles to overcome. It helped me to know that I wasn't alone. From her childhood abuse and through her search for her birthparents, and a rocky reunion, she is a shining example of a true survivor. I commend Kasey for sharing her personal story as it gives much insight into the world of the closed adoption system and the damage that secrets and lies can do. To all members of the triad, and anyone who has been touched by adoption, this is a must read. Thanks Kasey!! P.S. I also recommend "Adoption Forum" by Kasey. Very insightful information on all positions of the triad members.

Could not put it down! Read it cover to cover in two sittings. Kasey Hamner has "gone where no one has gone before" with this refreshingly honest autobiographical account of her life as an adoptee from relinquishment to reunion and beyond. Her candor and highly readable writing style are impressive, and she manages to touch all the issues that we adoptees seem to share in common.

Although it is hard to disaggregate issues that stem from being adopted vs. issues that result from growing up in a dysfunctional family, Hamner continually reminds us of the core emotional experiences of the genealogically bewildered adoptee: depression; anxiety; fear; anger; guilt; and ubiquitous problems with relationships, intimacy, and trust.

I highly recommend this book to anyone touched by adoption, as well as to teachers, therapists, and pediatricians.

I read this book because it was written by someone I knew. What I found was a world of buried emotions that I barely remembered. My sister put a baby up for adoption many years ago and I have sometimes wondered about this nephew of mine that I never got to know. Upon reading Kasey's wonderfully vivid, searingly honest account of her life, I found myself transported into the role of her aunt and relating on such a gut level that I found myself wanting to find that little boy who is now a man and tell him that he has an aunt he never got to know. It is rare indeed that written words evoke such emotions and when I find some that do, I am forever changed. Thanks, Kasey, for your gift to the world.

"Whose Child," written by Kasey Hamner strikes a chord in my heart. I was not adopted but know several people who have been. This book helped me to understand some of their strengths and frailties. "Whose Child" was easy to read and without technical mumbo jumbo. In fact, I couldn't put it down and was able to read it in only one day. "Whose Child" should be read by anyone who knows someone who has been adopted or was adopted themselves. Kasey Hamner writes a real and interesting story with a self healing conclusion that any person could apply in their own lives. Thank you Kasey.

This is an engrossing and painfully honest account of a young woman's experience as an adopted child in our society. I found myself unable to put the book down. As I read through each chapter describing Kasey's experiences growing up in her adoptive home I thought, "This is a must read book for any parent or prospective parent. Especially, someone considering adopting or relinquishing their newborn." One of the most well written accounts I've read in many years. This one is not to be missed ! Thank you Kasey for sharing your very personal and painful experience.

This book is not just about adoption. It is about overcoming incredible abuses, making a success of your life, and learning to love and let go. I am not adopted and I could not put the book down. I heard they are thinking of making a movie of this story. I can't wait. I am also an incest survivor and I hope I can meet Kasey some day and tell her how her book changed my life.

I also recommend Kasey's second book: "Adoption Forum" and Lori Paris's book: "Follow Your Heart"

As an adoptee I felt so much for the author, her strength is unbelievable. It is so well written and brutally honest. Its an amazing journey, you won't put this book down.

I kept hearing that people were unable to put this book down--most of these people were women. As a male adoptee I was fascinated by Kasey's story. Her writing carries you along and you don't want the book to end. It is hard for me to get into a book. A book has to grab a hold of me and carry me through to the finish otherwise I will not read it. I was hooked from the start. Her joy in life is well earned and I am so happy to hear her spirit shine through in this sometimes tragic, always thoughtful story. I for one am hooked on Kasey Hamner!!!

I read "Adoption Forum" (see my review for that book)before this one, but I wish that I read "Whose Child?" first. As a therapist I find Kasey's courage in writing her incredible story immensely courageous. I could not put this book down. Her ability to work through her issues and see that life is something to be celebrated despite the horrors of what happened to her is empowering. I will recommend this book to all of my adoption clients and fellow mental health professionals.