Whose Face Is in the Mirror?: The Story of One Woman's Journey from the Nightmare of Domestic Abuse to True Healing [Paperback]

Dianne Schwartz (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: March 2000

In this moving and inspirational work, Schwartz shares the trauma involved in living with an abuser, and takes the reader with her during the gradual process that allowed her to escape from the nightmare and move toward true healing. Along the way, she reveals how to recognize the warning signs of domestic violence, listen to your inner spirit, rid yourself of false beliefs, and love yourself enough to protect your precious soul. Throughout this book, Schwartz offers valuable self-help techniques to enable battered women to discover their self-worth and regain their lives. Her honesty in detailing her thought processes provides enormous insight into the psyche of a victim of abuse, while her ultimate recovery offers hope to others trapped within the cycle of domestic violence.

Editorial Reviews

From Library Journal

Schwartz, founder and president of Educating Against Domestic Violence (EADV), presents an enlightening and sometimes shocking account of domestic abuse. In the first part, she candidly relates her trials with her physically and emotionally abusive ex-husband and discusses her innermost feelings regarding the abuse she tolerated for years before seeking help. The second part recounts her journey to recovery through therapy and her determination to understand the underlying causes of her behavior. That the healing process is ongoing is emphasized and illustrated in the last section. This book took a lot of courage to write, and one hopes it will be an inspiration to those in similar situations. Schwartz successfully fulfills her purpose of explaining why people allow themselves to be continually abused and why they can't leave their abusers. A self-help resources list is included. Recommended for mental health practitioners and popular psychology collections in public libraries.
-Elizabeth Goeters, Roswell, GA
Copyright 2000 Reed Business Information, Inc.

About the Author

Dianne, a former model and business owner, is the founder and president of Educating Against Domestic Violence, a non-profit organisation that assists battered women and children. Her book, Who's Face is in the Mirror? is listed as a top 100 seller on women's issues on the online dictionary of mental health and was named Hay Foundation Book of the Year. Dianne inspires and motivates women to realize their full potential, both personally and in business.

Product Details

• Paperback: 253 pages
• Publisher: Hay House Inc (March 2000)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1561706388
• ISBN-13: 978-1561706389
• Product Dimensions: 8.4 x 5.4 x 0.8 inches
• Shipping Weight: 13.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (15 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #486,760 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

19 of 19 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A Must Read For All Survivors Of Domestic Abuse!, March 9, 2000

By 

M.A. Wilson - See all my reviews

This review is from: Whose Face Is in the Mirror?: The Story of One Woman's Journey from the Nightmare of Domestic Abuse to True Healing (Paperback)

Dianne left no stone unturned in this book as far as appealing to the issues that battered women deal with - why we stay, how being abused affects our thinking patterns, our health and our spirit, how we attract abusers, how we convince ourselves to live in denial, the lies we tell ourselves, how to get to the bottom of it, where to go for help and how to heal.

The story was told from the viewpoint of a woman who has recovered. She takes us back, shares her experience and focuses on HER part in it. I liked that when she went back and told her story, she never degraded or beat herself up for the bad choices she made, felt sorry for herself, nor did she make excuses. Her focus was entirely on helping the victim understand why/how she got into a relationship like this, what caused her to stay, and how to find the strength to not only leave, but to get well. She doesn't pull any punches in this book. She exposes the myriad of lies and myths that keep many women trapped in abusive relationships. (He's stressed out from his job, he had a bad childhood, he's sorry, he will change, it's not him it's the alcohol, I don't have scriptural grounds for divorce, etc.)

She also shares the learning process she went through as she was going through therapy. We get to sit on the couch beside her and watch the whole thing take place.

I don't know that I've ever read another book like it. I've read books from the viewpoint of the victim before, but not one where a woman was gutsy enough to take full responsibility without blame and use her experiences to teach others. It is truly more of a teaching tool than a sad story. I think it will help a lot of women.

13 of 13 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Abuse knows no favorites, September 27, 2005

By 

E. Dian Moore (Moundsville, WV USA) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Whose Face Is in the Mirror?: The Story of One Woman's Journey from the Nightmare of Domestic Abuse to True Healing (Paperback)

She had it all. Good looks. Her own business. Even a Mrs. Arizona title. But Dianne Schwartz hid a gruesome secret. She was a victim of continued physical abuse by her first husband. How does a seemingly successful, beautiful woman fall into the snare of an abuser? Schwartz tells us, beginning with childhood issues that evolved into setting her up as a victim for domestic violence.

In the preface to Whose Face is in the Mirror, the author introduces us to an essential part of healing from abuse-ridding oneself of shame. Through her story, Schwartz seeks to share her abuse, insight into how and why she came to be abused, her steps to recovery and her ongoing journey and encouragement to other survivors of abuse.

Painful at times, this true story rings more than true - it resonates within the soul. We all have known a woman just like Dianne Schwartz - a woman who we shake our heads at and wonder, "Is she nuts? Why does she listen to that loser? Why does she go back? How can she trust him again?" No, Dianne isn't nuts, and neither is any other woman caught in the deadly game of domestic abuse. For the abuser, it's just that: a game of control. For the victim, however, it's a test of survival.

Whose Face is one short portrait into the lives of the abused and the abuser. It shows the damage done to children. It brings out childhood issues that might contribute to one's being abused. It provides answers and courage to take the steps to safety, to life.

Schwartz's no-nonsense approach is a wakeup call to women who are being abused. She challenges the many abuse victims in today's world to look in the mirror and recognize the part they play in being abused. For without a victim, the abuser cannot abuse. She exposes the lies that litter an abusive relationship, such as:

* He will change.
* We cause him to be angry and abusive.
* We want people to like our spouse (so we cover for him).
* I'm nothing without him.
* I can't make it on my own.
* I deserve to be beaten. I'm useless.
* All men are terrible.
* No other man will be attracted to me.
* I stay because I love him.
* My children need their father.

Schwartz doesn't stop there. For every lie, she exposes the truth and gives real-world answers to getting out and staying safe.

In Part Three of Whose Face, Schwartz details the healing process, including recognizing the signs of an abuser. More importantly, she educates women, through her own process of healing, of how to recognize if they are attracted to an abuser. Some of the personality traits an abuser attracter might have are:

* The need to rescue.
* Accepting abuse during the dating stage.
* A dysfunctional family history of verbal or physical abuse.

Schwartz goes several steps further and looks into the effects our abuse may be having on our children. Are we setting our children up to be either abused or to be an abuser?

Healing from abuse is not something to be done alone. Schwartz's life example illustrates the importance of therapy and recognizing a Higher Power - in Schwartz's case, that power is God. Through therapy and God, she discovered her passion in life and finally recognized whose face was in the mirror. After 42 years of living with self-hatred, this woman chose to heal, and to share her journey to self-love.

Today, Schwartz is the founder and president of Educating Against Domestic Violence, a nonprofit organization providing assistance to battered persons. She is happily and healthily married and continues to heal, as are her children.

13 of 13 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Couldn't put it down, June 23, 2001

By A Customer

This review is from: Whose Face Is in the Mirror?: The Story of One Woman's Journey from the Nightmare of Domestic Abuse to True Healing (Paperback)

Although sad and frightening, I was held captive to Dianne Schwartz's story. Her thoughts during her abusive marriage, throughout therapy and into recovery clearly show that a woman can turn her life around, if she finds the correct avenue and teacher. She worked hard to not only escape her abusive husband but has taken her experiences to lead other women to safety.

She has spunk! I loved her honest way of writing and her ability to be completely honest about her low self-esteem before and during her marriage. I'm amazed that she's now the founder of a non-profit organization that assists victims of domestic violence and it seems, works daily to help women trapped within the cycle of violence. She's my new role model. Thank you, Ms. Schwartz for sharing your story.