Why Can't We Talk?: What Teens Would Share If Parents Would Listen [Paperback]

Michelle Trujillo (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: March 1, 2000

Teenagers, especially in light of recent violent acts at schools, are in desperate need of understanding from their parents, yet many of them can’t talk about the really important issues in their lives. Why Can’t We Talk? What Teens Can’t Tell Their Parents is written for teenagers by teenagers as a tool to improve communication and understanding between teens and their parents. The heart of the book is a collection of writings from teenagers from all economic, social and ethnic backgrounds who write with heartfelt honesty about the situations in their lives that they are unable to discuss with their parents. They also share their frustrations with their parents, who are often unwilling to listen. The messages from these contributors will help teen readers realize that they are not alone in the feelings, and will offer them alternative ways to express their concerns and fears.

Each chapter contains contributions from about twenty teenagers and ends with a recap of the main concerns by Trujillo, including observations, inspirational encouragement, and suggestions and challenges for future actions. Chapters include: Understand Me; Expectations; Communication; Trust; Divorce; Acceptance; Alcohol; Drugs; Sex; Advice to Parents; and Hope.

While the book is primarily for teenagers, the hope is that teens can use the book to begin a dialog with their parents on the issues covered. Teens are encouraged to share sections that are relevant to their lives with their parents, allowing parents a window into their child’s hearts and an opening for talking with their child. For many teens, an improvement in communicating with their parents will naturally lead to healthier decision making. This book provides readers with a positive first step they can take to improve their relationships with their parents.

Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Michelle L. Trujillo, a former Teacher of the Year, loves teenagers! As a middle school teacher and inspirational speaker, she shares her enthusiasm and energy with young people as she challenges them to make healthy choices. Michelle has designed site-based peer education curricula and facilitated Student Assistance Programs. She also enjoys working with children with disabilities as a Certified Adapted Physical Educator and Ability Awareness Trainer. Michelle lives in Nevada with her husband and two children.

Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.

Teens talk about...

COMMUNICATION

öIn my relationship with my parents, we lack communication. I wish we would have had a close relationship started when I was younger. My mom tells me I canÆt have sex until IÆm married. She needs to know that if she doesnÆt want me to have sex until IÆm married, then we should be able to talk to each other about it. If she just tells me, IÆm probably going to rebel. I am going through this rebellious stage. I donÆt think IÆd be that rebellious if I could just talk to her about things.ö Jenna, 15

DIVORCE

öMy parents just got divorced. IÆd like to say that parents should never bring their children into their problems. My parents tossed me and my siblings right into the middle of it. And when parents bring their children into their problems, it hurts the kids to have to listen and watch the feuding.ö Talyn, 14

TRUST

ASome kids do things like drugs because their parents donÆt trust or respect them, so they donÆt trust or respect themselves. If my parents spent more time with me, I think I would respect and love myself more. I also think I could understand my parents more if they were not hypocrites. Children follow examples, not words.ö Trudi, 17

EXPECTATIONS

öMy parents have this mental picture of me in their minds and somehow I am supposed to fit that mold. Why canÆt they accept me for who I am no matter what decisions I have made in my life? I want to be able to talk to my parents about my life and the choices IÆve made for myself. They have been [teens] before, but itÆs like they have to shut all those things that they did when they were my age out. I just want them to remember and let all those feelings come back so that they can understand.ö Callie, 16

ACCEPTANCE

öPressure and acceptance is a big issue to me, because it happens to me every day. I canÆt get accepted in the things I like to enjoy, and I get pressured into doing things I donÆt like to do, like alcohol and drugs. I know I donÆt have to give into the pressure, but to be accepted, I do. I just wish that my parents would give me some support, and then I think my life would be a little bit better.ö Denise, 14

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(c)2000. All rights reserved. Reprinted from Why Can't We Talk by Michelle L. Trujillo. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted in any form or by any means, without the written permission of the publisher. Publisher: Health Communications, Inc., 3201 SW 15th Street, Deerfield Beach, FL 33442.

Product Details

• Paperback: 250 pages
• Publisher: HCI Teens (March 1, 2000)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1558747788
• ISBN-13: 978-1558747784
• Product Dimensions: 8.5 x 5.5 x 0.9 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1.2 pounds
• Average Customer Review: 4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (6 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #2,289,334 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

5 of 6 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars why this book is for you, March 19, 2000

By 

Caitlin M. Poley (Gardnerville, Nevada) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Why Can't We Talk?: What Teens Would Share If Parents Would Listen (Paperback)

I recently bought this book, thinking that I should be supportive since I knew the lady who wrote it. I started to read just so I could say I read it. But as I got into it I found that this book was extremely unique and was very easy for me to realate to, infact for anyone to realate to. This book deals with issues that most people aren't very comfortable talking about, and you can honestly tell that everything in this book came straight from the heart. Something I found very unique and cool about this book was that after each section the author would talk to you about it and share her experiences. This book is somehting very great to have.

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Why Can't We Talk, April 26, 2000

By 

Terran (Gardnerville, Nevada) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Why Can't We Talk?: What Teens Would Share If Parents Would Listen (Paperback)

This book is an insperation for teens and thier parents. It shows teens that the problems they are having are normal and they are not alone. It also helps parents to understand thier childs point of view and hopefully will open up the lines of communication. Mikki Trujillo did an excellent job and the book is amazing!

8 of 12 people found the following review helpful:

2.0 out of 5 stars Confusing, July 12, 2000

By A Customer

This review is from: Why Can't We Talk?: What Teens Would Share If Parents Would Listen (Paperback)

I bought this book thinking it was for parents but I got confused as to who this book was for. That isn't such a big deal, I guess but as I read on I didn't find any earth shattering information. It is clear that the author cares and that is good, but I think more research and a clearer title might have helped this book. It is extremely difficult to be a parent of a teenager today. We know all the things that our parents did wrong and we know we don't want to repeat those mistakes. BUT we don't have clear and researched advice on what to replace those old mistaken methods with. This is what I was hoping for. I was dissappointed, although I don't feel it was terrible book, I just didn't get anything from it.