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Why "We" Didn't Choose You: A Relationship Handbook for Women (and Men), Vol. I Paperback – 2010

4.9 out of 5 stars 20 customer reviews

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Product Details

  • Paperback: 235 pages
  • Publisher: ZL Publishing House (2010)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0615411495
  • ISBN-13: 978-0615411491
  • Product Dimensions: 8.5 x 5.5 x 0.8 inches
  • Average Customer Review: 4.9 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (20 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #2,933,629 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

WILLIAM T. HOSTON, Ph.D., is a professor, author, motivational speaker, poet, and documentarian who hails from New Orleans, Louisiana. He is associate professor of political science at the University of Houston - Clear Lake. Dr. Hoston received his Ph.D. from the University of New Orleans (UNO) in 2007.

Dr. Hoston has penned a total of nine books, most recently: Race and the Black Male Subculture: The Lives of Toby Waller (in press - 2016); WWDCY, Vol. III (2016); RNIT (2015); Listen to Me Now, or Listen to Me Later, 2nd Edition (2014); Black Masculinity in the Obama Era: Outliers of Society (2014); and No Bullies in the Huddle (2013 - Philadelphia, 2015 - Redskins). He is currently completing two academic books: (1) Muted Voices: Narratives of Discrimination and Violence Against Black Transgender Women and (2) The End of a Black Empowerment Period in New Orleans: 1978-2010.

In 2013, Dr. Hoston released the documentary, "Black Dot in a White World: Critical Discourse Among Black Males in the Obama Era," which expands the discussion of the economic, social, and political plight of black males in the Obama Era. It features the likes of Civil Rights Icon, John Lewis; Educator, Dr. Steve Perry; Urban League President, Marc Morial; Rap Icon, Master P and his son, Romeo, and a host of others that discuss what it means to be a black male in the 21st century and the impact of living in the Obama Era (http://vimeo.com/73945114).

Dr. Hoston has proved his dedication and commitment to empowering youth and college students to have a brighter future, which was recognized by UHCL as he was the recipient of the 2013 Minnie Stevens Piper Award for outstanding teaching. He also was ranked in the 2012 - 2013 academic year as the 19th best college professor in America according to RateMyProfessor.com. Dr. Hoston's motto is, "I just want to be an example. Many have come before me and hopefully those that come after will be inspired by the example that I have set."

See his website: http://www.wthoston.com. You can also follow him on Twitter @DrHoston.

Customer Reviews

Top Customer Reviews

Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
I was skeptical about this book at first, because of the narcissistically condescending tone of its title. "Why WE didn't choose YOU" implies (in my opinion) that the men are in a position to "have their pick" of pathetic women who are desperate to be considered "worthy." But curiosity (and so many positive reviews) compelled me to purchase it; I also bought The Conversation: How Men and Women Can Build Loving, Trusting Relationships at the same time.

Surprisingly, I really enjoyed the book and was very glad I read it! Like several other reviewers, I read the WHOLE thing in one sitting (it's about 200 pages, but they turn quickly). I went through a range of emotions as the men in this focus group gave their opinions...from compassion, to amusement, to shock, to outrage, and finally to a sense of my own empowerment as a woman. It was clear that some of the men were far less mature than others, but ALL of their stories were educational. Let me first briefly describe the contents before I go into what I took away from it:

There are six men in the focus group (the term "man" may be only loosely applied to a couple of them), representing different walks of life and (most notably) differing maturity levels. Chapter I consists of letters written by each of the guys to women that they had previously broken up with. The letters appear very honest as each writer explains what led to the break up from his perspective. They describe what they did wrong and what they feel the women did wrong. Then, each of the guys offers his perspectives on the topics presented in Chapters II-V.
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Format: Paperback
This was a great read. Straightforward. Honest. Sometimes biting. There were some hard truths that were brought out. Some women might be taken aback by some of the things the men talked about, but if you are real with yourself you will recognize that there is definite truth in much of what is said. I like that the men acknowledged the role each of them played in the demise of their respective relationships. Recognizing the mistakes made by not only their partner, but themselves as well. I appreciated their candor. I appreciate the author's effort in getting these men to reveal these things about themselves and their relationships. I'm sure that was no easy feat. I truly believe there is much to be learned from this book. It is an eye opener of sorts for us women. We get a glimpse into how the male mind works in connection to relationships. It can provide, for some, a better understanding as to why their relationship(s) did not work out. I think it is very important for potential readers to know that this is not a book about men placing the blame solely on women for the failed relationships. The title may allude to that, but it is far from being the case. It is more about what both parties can and should do differently in order to have a successful and meaningful relationship. Enjoy it!
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Format: Paperback
I gave this book Five Stars because it was informational, inspirational and RELEVANT to both men and women. I recommended this book to anyone looking to improve on any relationship, especially if you are looking to improve (the most important relationship) the relationship with yourself. Like most women I was a little put off by the title of the book, after reading the introduction and reasoning behind the title my doubts and defensive attitude dissipated. The introduction lays the groundwork for the entire book. Once I began to read the book I could not put it down! The panel of six men, range in education, background and socioeconomic status, despite the differences all six men offer insightful information to the questions all women are dying to know.
Chapter 1 contains love letters from all six men to woman that left a significant impact in their lives, they give details as to the characteristics the men found endearing about the women, significant moments in the relationship and the events or characteristics that led to the demise of the relationship.
Chapter 2 presents the controversial topic of cheating, it asks all of the men: Why Do Men Cheat? Does Men’s Cheating Contribute To Women’s Insecurities? Are Women’s Insecurities the Downfall of a New Relationship? The chapter concludes by addressing why men feel that cheating is okay for them but not acceptable for a woman. All of the men provide insightful information on the subjects, Javier in particular.
Chapter 3 Damaged Goods: Can I Get An Itemized Receipt? In my opinion is the most insightful for all women. This chapter forces all women to look within themselves and analyze the baggage and barriers they have brought from old relationships into new ones.
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Format: Paperback
Not all men are dogs. There is a reason for their actions

Why "We" Didn't choose You by William T. Hoston Ph.D shows different views of men on the topic of relationships. The author asked questions to everyday men. These were questions that almost every female has asked at one time or another. The questions ranged from, why men cheat, to what is the difference between making love, and having sex. The men in this novel confessed in some instances the roles (good or bad) that they played in relationships. These gentlemen give the female reader a look into the male thoughts and offer different opinions to females.

The views at times can be very frank, and most times not what the average woman wants to know or hear. This book also gives a glance into the reasoning of the opposite sex; from playa, to all American man. This book contains letters written by the men to their ex- girlfriends as well as poems written at the end about their thoughts.

I am not a fan of non- fiction but I am truly a fan of this book. This is not a book for both women and men. I feel that is it a breath of fresh air to get an insight into what other men are thinking and saying about the same topic or topics that might be causing problems in your relationships. When reading this book I had mixed of emotions. I would try to when compared, to another proclaimed self help novel by Steve Harvey; I would say this one is better because this book shows that not all men think alike. This is truly a five star read.

Rated 5 Stars

Reviewed by Patrice Smith

For Readers In Motion Bookclub
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