Why Doesn't Anybody Like Me?: A Guide To Raising Socially Confident Kids [Paperback]

Hara E. Marano (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: August 19, 1998

A parent's love is absolutely essential, but there comes a point when it alone is not sufficient -- when the epiccenter of acceptance shifts from home to school, from family to peer.

This practical, persuasive guide shows parents how to raise their children so that they will be popular -- well liked by their peers. Social competence in children of all ages, Marano says, is not a luxury. Rather, it has an essential impact on a child's later life -- on his or her health, happiness, intellectual capacity, and above all, success.

But how can parents foster the qualities and skills shared by every popular child? And what can mothers and fathers do when their youngsters stumble, struggle, or suffer?

This friendly, impressively researched, and enormously informative guide explores a wide range of issues and concerns including:

The perils of overprotective -- how to safeguard children without smothering them, and how to turn a shy boy or girl into a confident kid

Good kids, bad kids, and outsiders -- who gets picked on, why schoolyard cruelty hurts everyone, and what a parent can do when a child is having trouble

Peer pressure and interpersonal solutions -- how children learn to interact, from the playpen to the playground and beyond, and how parents can foster crucial social skills at every age

Temperamanent and tantrums -- why youngster act up, from the Terrible Twos to teenage rebellion, what such behavior means in different situations, and how parents can turn conflict into cooperation

Prescriptive and practical, "Why Doesn't Anybody Like Me?" offers parents down-to-earth advice on everything from helping their children make new friends to managing schoolyard bullies. Marano's perceptive insights are powerful psychological strategies parents can use help their children build the interpersonal skills that will carry them through life that form the core of every strong friendship, every satifying marriage, and every successful business partnership.

Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review

"Nobody plays with me." "All the other kids pick on me." If these are complaints your child often voices, by all means, don't just ignore it. Author Hara Estroff Marano asserts that popularity--how well your child is liked by his or her peers--is the single greatest determinant of a child's happiness and success at school. Yet wanting a child to be popular is nearly taboo in our society, with most parents stressing academic rather than social achievement as a goal.

Marano, an editor for Psychology Today, closely examines and interprets the research on children's interactions and their ability to get along with peers. She finds that kids are becoming less socially competent, and rejection--while always a powerful interpersonal force--has recently become more lethal. Socially rejected kids who have absorbed a message that violence solves problems may even avail themselves of deadly weapons. Marano stresses the importance of play in developing social skills, and decries the phenomenon of the over-scheduled child. A full third of Why Doesn't Anybody Like Me? focuses on what parents can do to help their kids improve their social interactions, and includes suggestions for dealing with bullies and assisting the aggressive child. This book will have parents eagerly turning pages, making mental notes, watching their children's interactions, and working with them to improve their social competence. --Ericka Lutz

About the Author

Hara Estroff Marano, Editor-at-Large of Psychology Today, has been writing about psychological issues for more than twenty years. She lives in Brooklyn, New York.

Product Details

• Paperback: 336 pages
• Publisher: William Morrow Paperbacks; 1 edition (August 19, 1998)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 068814960X
• ISBN-13: 978-0688149604
• Product Dimensions: 9 x 6.1 x 0.9 inches
• Shipping Weight: 13.4 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 3.2 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (9 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,273,544 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

67 of 68 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars very interesting book, November 1, 1998

By 

Johanna Sperling (Brussels, Belgium) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Why Doesn't Anybody Like Me?: A Guide To Raising Socially Confident Kids (Paperback)

This book is one of the best parenting books I have ever read. Although there seems to be lots of research as to how children act in a social context, little or nothing has been written for parents. Ms. Marano makes a very convincing case that social competence is very important for children, citing lots of research in a very clear manner (too bad the publisher decided to leave the references out). She explains in detail what makes a child well liked by other children and what not. She also points out that, although social competence is in part a genetic matter, parents have a lot of influence on their children's social behaviour. She offers lots of (fun) suggestions for improving children's social skills. I thought this book was a real page turner and highly recommend it.

56 of 56 people found the following review helpful:

3.0 out of 5 stars I Became Very Discouraged!, February 17, 2001

By 

Carla Butts (Cherry Hill, New Jersey United States) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Why Doesn't Anybody Like Me?: A Guide To Raising Socially Confident Kids (Paperback)

I agree with previous comments about the amount of research that went into writing this book, however after reading through all of the research, I had a feeling of doom. I have two sons aged 7 and 4, and my oldest is having difficulty making friends at his new school after our family relocated from the midwest to the east coast. I was looking for fun, practical solutions to helping him make new friends. What I found was a book that explained extensive research on the subject of popularity,but many of the comments made by the author left me feeling that my son had little hope in improving his social situation. I especially felt disheartend to find that according to the author, a child's social standing is pretty much determined by the first grade! My son's in first grade now. I was a psychology major in college, and could appreciate much of the research, but the book read more like a textbook to me than a book for parents looking for practical solutions to helping their kids form friendships.

43 of 43 people found the following review helpful:

3.0 out of 5 stars Not really a Guide., August 30, 2001

By 

"sallymonkhicks" (Cupertino, Ca USA) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Why Doesn't Anybody Like Me?: A Guide To Raising Socially Confident Kids (Paperback)

This book is more of a research summary than a guide to helping your child. It is interesting and enlightening on the subject of research that has been done on kids social interaction, but its limited material on how to help your child is vague and not very convincing. It left me feeling that: yes, I recognized my daughter as a socially unsuccessful child, but I didn't know what to do about it. If you want an excellent how-to guide, try "Good Friends are Hard to Find" by Fred Frankel.