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Why Good People Do Bad Things: How to Stop Being Your Own Worst Enemy
 
 
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Why Good People Do Bad Things: How to Stop Being Your Own Worst Enemy [Hardcover]

Debbie Ford (Author)
4.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (58 customer reviews)

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Book Description

March 11, 2008

Why Good People Do Bad Things exposes the pervasive and often hidden impulses that influence our everyday decisions. The headlines are full of stories of good people gone astray. They show up on the evening news and are splashed across the weekly tabloids.

In many ways, these sad stories have become a national obsession. Yet countless other acts of self-destruction and sabotage take place in our families, in our communities, in our circle of friends. Despite good intentions, “good people” do very bad things—often without understanding why.

New York Times bestselling author Debbie Ford guides us into the heart of the duality that unknowingly operates within each one of us: the force that compels us to live by our values, give and receive love, and be a contributing member of the community; and the force that holds us back, sabotages our efforts, and repeatedly steers us toward bad choices.

Ford begins with an examination of what she calls the Beach-Ball Effect—the way in which suppressed emotions eventually rise to the surface—revealing the origins of self-destructive behavior. By describing the never-ending battle between our light and dark sides and then identifying the signposts for potential disaster, Ford helps us understand how we end up damaging the lives we've worked so hard to create. She then breaks new ground by helping us recognize the masks we wear to protect ourselves, including the People Pleaser, the Victim, the Bully, Mister Cool, and the Jokester. Understanding these masks and what they cover up allows us to go beneath the surface, wake up from denial, and become the person we always intended to be.

With Why Good People Do Bad Things Ford has created her most enduring, expansive, and powerful work to date. Providing the tools to unlock the patterns of self-sabotage, Ford ultimately knocks down the façade of the false self and shows us how to heal the split between light and dark and live the authentic life within our reach.


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Editorial Reviews

Review

“An exceptionally helpful book.” (Paul Babiak, Ph.D., coauthor of Snakes In Suits: When Psychopaths Go To Work )

“This masterpiece of unflinching clarity is Debbie Ford’s most important and brilliant book.” (Andrew Harvey, author of Son of Man )

“...a sage discussion of the dualistic nature of the human mind...” (Richard Moss, MD, author of The Mandala of Being )

“Debbie Ford has hit a spiritual bullseye in this extraordinary roadmap to self-understanding, compassion, and what we all want most -- happiness. I was touched, inspired, and enlightened by Debbie’s masterful blend of wisdom and heart. This landmark book will help many people.” (Alan Cohen, author of Why Your Life Sucks and What You Can Do About It )

“Debbie Ford has an amazing way of casting light onto our personal darkness. She’s done it before, and now she’s done it again. She’s a great explorer of our depths.” (Marianne Williamson, author of The Age of Miracles )

“In this book, Debbie Ford brilliantly exposes the greatest human tragedy: the loss of the authentic self by ineffective parenting and the resulting split that ravages the life of the self and its consequences for others. I heartily recommend this book to everyone.” (Harville Hendrix, Ph.D., author of Getting the Love You Want )

“Anyone who reads this book will find the means to become whole once again.” (Deepak Chopra, author, Third Jesus: The Christ We Cannot Ignore )

About the Author

Debbie Ford is the New York Times bestselling author of The Dark Side of the Light Chasers and Why Good People Do Bad Things. She conducts workshops around the world and lives in La Jolla, California, with her son.


Product Details

  • Hardcover: 256 pages
  • Publisher: HarperOne; First edition (March 11, 2008)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0060897376
  • ISBN-13: 978-0060897376
  • Product Dimensions: 9.3 x 6.4 x 0.9 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 1 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (58 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #592,760 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Debbie Ford, #1 New York Times best-selling author, educator, founder of The Ford Institute for Transformational Training, and Executive Producer of The Shadow Effect, a cutting-edge transformational DVD, is an internationally recognized expert in the field of personal transformation. A pioneering force in incorporating the study and integration of the shadow into modern psychological and spiritual practices, Debbie has appeared on Oprah, Good Morning America, and is the featured expert on the forthcoming ABC TV show, The Ex-Wives Club. Debbie's eight groundbreaking books, including The Dark Side of the Light Chasers, Spiritual Divorce, and The Best Year of Your Life, have sold over 1 million copies, are translated into 32 languages, and are used in institutions of learning worldwide. For more information, visit www.debbieford.com.

 

Customer Reviews

58 Reviews
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4 star:
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3 star:    (0)
2 star:
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Average Customer Review
4.4 out of 5 stars (58 customer reviews)
 
 
 
 
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

125 of 131 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars A starkly confronting read..., March 14, 2008
By 
This review is from: Why Good People Do Bad Things: How to Stop Being Your Own Worst Enemy (Hardcover)
Having been a student of personal growth and transformational work for years, I can sometimes feel pretty smug about my own mental/spiritual/emotional state of affairs. After reading this book, I'm now quite aware that I'm still far from done with my personal journey of self-awareness and self-love. That despite what I'd like to believe, I still have many limiting and damaging tendencies lurking under the surface. Turns out that the together, nice-guy, intellectual persona I've been so proud of, is nothing more than mask that I still hide behind to conceal my shame. Ouch.

Debbie Ford uses the pages of her newest work to expertly cut through the illusions of good and bad, right and wrong, real and unreal. She quickly gets to the root of the most significant problem plaguing the world today - the effects of toxic shame, and the inability of people to accept and make peace with the totality of who they are - both the light and the dark. She points to the internal split that results, as the cause of an on-going conflict within each one of us. She explains the unconscious mechanisms that inexhorably draw us into a range of negative and destructive behaviors that will continue to plague us until the split is healed and the conflict resolved. Fortunately, Ms. Ford also offers useful concepts, tools and antidotes for making peace and returning to wholeness.

One can choose to read this book and be fascinated intellectually by the ideas presented without taking personal action. Or one can choose to use it as a catalyst to explore their inner world, make new choices and ultimately become more authentic and whole. I recommend the latter.
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99 of 108 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars a chilling exploration of why we do what we do, March 13, 2008
By 
This review is from: Why Good People Do Bad Things: How to Stop Being Your Own Worst Enemy (Hardcover)
I bought this book because I respect Debbie Ford's work and I wanted to understand why I seem to sabotage my progress just as I am about to take a giant leap forward. Why do I push people away when I say I want more intimacy in my life? Why do I spend money on triffles when I am trying to save to buy a home?

I have long felt that there are "two" sides of me that are vying for my attention. This book explains with incredible detail just how true this is. Nearly every page sent chills up my spine.


"Why Good People Do Bad Things: How to Stop Being Your Own Worst Enemy" helped me to understand the hidden causes of my own self-sabotage and more importantly, gave me the spiritual antidotes needed to steer my choices in a more positive direction.
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31 of 33 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars A FABULOUS BOOK!, March 15, 2008
By 
E. Henry Brown (New Hampshire, USA) - See all my reviews
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This review is from: Why Good People Do Bad Things: How to Stop Being Your Own Worst Enemy (Hardcover)
Another FABULOUS book by Debbie Ford.. and very possibly her best and most helpful to date. If you find the recent headlines about Eliot Spitzer or Larry Craig perplexing, or simply would like to understand why you do things, both subtle and obvious, to undermine yourself and sabotage your own success, you need to look no further than the 243 pages of this remarkable book. Everything you need to know is here, including how to once and for all release yourself from the mire of self destructive, self defeating behavior. This is a true Godsend!
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Inside This Book (learn more)
Key Phrases - Statistically Improbable Phrases (SIPs): (learn more)
why good people, spiritual antidote, wounded ego, unhealthy ego, shame body, healthy shame, toxic shame, toxic emotions, darker impulses
Key Phrases - Capitalized Phrases (CAPs): (learn more)
Healing the Split, The Masks, Good Girl, The Strength of Forgiveness, Nice Guy, The Entitled Supporter, People Pleasers, The Fallout of Fear, Tough Cookie, Eternal Optimist, The Ego Gone Bad, The Savior, United States, Shadow Process, Tough Guy, The Beach-Ball Effect, The Martyr, Too Cool
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