Customer Reviews

Why Hasn't He Called?: New York's Top Date Doctors Reveal How Guys Really Think and How to Get the Right One Interested

5 star:		(14)
4 star:		(6)
3 star:		(1)
2 star:		(1)
1 star:		(5)

 

 

Basically, if you hate yourself and want to become a totally different person in order to snag a "man" this book is for you.
If you are a confident, awesome woman who just hasn't found the right person yet, stay far, far away from this book.
The advice in this book is so completely ridiculous that my friends and I have been literally laughing over it. For example:
If you have two cats send one away for the night so you don't scare him away?? (One cat okay, two cats clearly marks you as a spinster.)
Hide all of your books?? (Seriously?)
Limit your sports talk to Sunday afternoons?? (What??? This isn't even human. And what if you don't like football but are a baseball fan instead??)
Make sure you have a fancy, flat screen tv in your living room!
Are these people kidding?

Of course, there is more to this book than those few examples I just listed, but overall, it's a bunch of garbage. It bleeds sexism.
Offensive to men AND women, this book is only good for entertainment purposes.
If you are an actual human being and you are trying to use this book for the purpose it intends, good luck. And make sure to have plenty of fresh-cut flowers in beautiful vases, breath mints and candles all over your apartment.

Its funny how us romantic girls just run crazy with one date , one phone call, many text messages. We forget to ground ourselves and we just start day dreaming what our new last name. This books gives girls an edge. Its helps become fun and confident. It teaches them great tricks to have little pick me uppers. I loved this book. I really think you to are not sure about the guys in your life you might want to read this books to begin your process of elimination.

I recently bought this book and was so disappointed. Basically, the advice in this book is for women to strip themselves of their identity, opinion and personality and just cater to men.

I was especially 'horrified' at the chapter that describes what you should do to your apartment to make it 'guy friendly' ... the author advises you to get rid of pets, photos of your family, health food in your refrigerator, and any evidence of religious beliefs for the first time a guy visits your apartment?

So basically, you create a false illusion of yourself and 'snare' the guy and then the real you comes out when you get to know each other and the guy was sold a bunch of lies and leaves you anyway?

One of my best male friends read through the book and told me to throw the book away ... he thought it was ridiculous and it's not how men think. His advice is that a man has to love you for who you are. And that advice is not in this book.

P.S. I did throw the book away.

The information in this book is often repeated over and over -- just changing the words around. Its a quick read to give to a young girl who is learning about dating and the odd creatures calleld "boys" or "men", but otherwise its a waste of money and doesn't provide anything unique or substantial.

I loved this book. I wouldn't take it has a dating bible but it was entertaining. It told me things that I already knew but didn't follow has as dating guide line.

A friend of mine showed me this book and it was so awful, I feel compelled to come on here and write a review. In essence, the book suggests that you pretend to be someone you're not (to lie) in order to get a man. Now, it's true that we all try to put our best foot forward when dealing with the opposite sex. This book suggests you take two steps backwards, turn around a few times and hide everything that makes you you. One suggestion is to hide all your books and movies. Here I would like to quote from a book that will really let you into the male mind, High Fidelity: A Novel, "If your music and movie collections don't get along, chances are the two of you won't either." DO NOT BUY THIS BOOK. Spend the money on something worth while.

I'm a clinical psychologist, and I found this book really lacking in substance. A much better book on this topic is "Have Him at Hello." (The title is bad, but the book is great, research based, and constructive.)

Why Hasn't He Called, has many problems. First of all, there are more than 5 kinds of men. Pretty obvious, huh? The categories are over-simplified and apply only to a narrow percentage of men. They also overlap.

Secondly, the advice is really limiting for future relationships. For example, have your cats stay at a friend's house the first night your bf sleeps over. Really? The reason given was cats are synonymous with being a spinster. This is just stupid. (And I'm not reacting from personal feelings, I have dogs.) What if you stay together, and he later asks you to get rid of your pets. That would suck. I've known people who have gone through this. If he doesn't like your pets, dump him!

An over-all problem with this book is that most human beings already have these basic social skills. Would you really talk about marriage and babies on the first date? If so, you're probably not smart enough to even read a book. If a man talked about marriage and babies on the first date, I would run in the other direction!

Other poor advice includes hiding Bibles and other religious books from your home. What if you met at church or on a Christian dating site? In certain parts of the country, having a Bible around might be pretty normal. - (And I'm not religious, just making a point.)

Much of the advice also seems to be regionally based. Some of these things only apply to cities in the Northeast. In most places in America, you won't be walking home from a date or have a doorman.

That brings me to another point, it's also pretty elitist. Most of us don't have doormen. I don't actually know anyone who has a doorman! (And I have a doctorate and a great job.)

If you have an IQ that's even slightly over average, and decent social skills, you don't need this book. Save your time and money! The authors just aren't that bright. You can do better.

Honestly this book doesn't tell woman anything they don't already know, but what it does do is reaffirm what we already know...because sometimes we need a reminder. I felt very empowered after reading this book and it told me how to behave in a way that I already knew I should be. What I don't like about this book is that is gives off a meek vide, in the sense of all these questions you should NOT ask a man in fear for scaring him off...well there's a way to ask questions without being an interrigator, a woman shouldn't just sit there and be coy and wait 6months into the relationship to ask about an ex or ask "what are you thinking" get outta here! ASK THOSE QUESTIONS AND PROBE DEEP LADIES! This is a good book but I also recommend reading Steve Harvey's books, he gives the low down no-BS on men. I took everything away from this book except that part on the questions, men are not all skiddish horses that scare easily, it's not in their nature to be scared of woman, men have a predatory nature and like to go in for a kill, a scared lion is a hungry lion. So ignore that part of the book, ask serious questions and dig deep for the truth, but ask in a way that is not threatening, and ask them right away...it'll let him know you're a no-nonsense type of girl and if he's a real man he'll respect that instead of running away like a small child. What this book does is give you the courage to tell creeps to go to hell and feel empowered doing it.

This book has changed my life.

The first improbable fact is that I am a man. Second, I'm heterosexual. I was walking into the library and I saw this book sitting unattended outside on a bench. I picked it up thinking it was a library book and I'd return it. But it wasn't a library book. I took it home and glanced through it. I remember thinking how sad it was that such a book existed. I put it down and forgot about it.

Not long after, a female friend (as in "just friends") was in my apartment and she noticed the pink spine of this book being out of place and picked it up. That was a nice WTF moment you can be sure. She seemed struck with a mixture of horror and immense curiosity and after poking through the book a bit I started feeling the same way. We sat down together to look through this book and analyze it from the perspective of both genders.

As a bonus, its former owner had heavily annotated the pages giving us hints of a cryptic subplot far more dramatic than the actual text. Seems the previous owner was putting this book into the context of her interaction with someone she referred to in margin notes as "Danny Douchebag". We came to learn all kinds of things about our mystery couple, everything from her make up habits and what kind of underwear she thinks might be sexy to the fact that Danny seems to be somewhat immature and is just interested in sex. We felt very voyeuristic reading this and piecing together the story the underlining and margin notes implied. Exciting stuff! Definitely explore getting a used copy!

As we read through it, we noticed that this book was not very well organized. As with some grammar issues (see the comments), better copy editing could have set this straight. I've never read a book like this so maybe it is par for the course. As an example of the organizational defects we were uneasy with, there is on page 7 a section called: Dissecting "The First Date". Then on page 115 there is an entire chapter called: "The Date". There are lots of interesting topics in there, some possibly useful some undoubtedly not, but where it all is seemed a bit random.

The book also covers some seemingly improbable stuff like, what if he brings his friends on a date? Or what if his ex is the bartender? Does this stuff happen? I'm kind of a square so I don't really know about these things.

If I could distill the book down to one piece of advice I think it would be: Don't have sex with him on the first date! I don't know why that's so bad, but maybe for normal people in normal situations, it just is. However, it seems the emphasis to delay letting a guy sleep with you just delays the end of the "relationship" by exactly that much. Are they figuring that if you stall the man who is single-mindedly pursuing sex, that he will notice some other nice qualities while he waits? Sounds unlikely.

Overall I think my friend and I felt that the existence of a book like this wasn't absurd. Society is complex. It's hard for people to know what to do while trying to navigate the complexities of dating. Clearly the topic of this book is no less important to people than other educational books they may own. The entire quality of your life could depend on how you handle some subtle aspect of these mating rituals.

Unfortunately, we didn't feel that the advice was especially constructive and certainly not in a universal way. The authors seemed a little too superficial to us and their lifestyles didn't seem to reflect ours but maybe we're unusual. Some things made sense like "Don't get fall down drunk". Other things like "Don't talk about your feelings" seemed a little less wholesome to us.

My friend and I seemed to find the opportunity of reading this book together a great opportunity to specifically talk about our feelings. At first it was in the abstract way that the authors were trying to approach it, but eventually it became apparent that we were thinking about each other as we pondered our own ideas of how men and women should interact. We broke many of the rules established in the book and actually were honest with each other about our feelings and experiences. As we read the book we had learned a lot about each other and we had started to realize that we actually have very similar views on most of this stuff. We were able to appreciate each other's integrity and honesty and our mutual respect and attraction grew. By the end of the book, we were aware that we had both crossed a frontier, leaving behind the territory of "just friends".

This book will always have a special place in my book shelf and in my heart. I empathize with the former owner of this book and everyone who struggles to understand the crazy dynamics of nascent relationships. I hope she gets over Danny and moves on to find someone who really is a good fit and who treats her with respect, openness, kindness, sensitivity, and love. I hope you find it too.

hey hey, want to get the ultimate secrets of the Boys Club? The authors obviously want to sell some secrets to you. I'd say these secrets work very cheap, teaching you all men are liars and all women are pathetic addicts. Deep down. By nature. Go and rather buy some really good stuff written by experienced therapists. Like Warren Farrell.