Why I Hate Straws: An offbeat worldview of an offbeat world [Paperback]

Barry Parham (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: September 14, 2009

Includes the award-winning stories "Going Green, Seeing Red" and "Driving Miss Conception!"

Excerpts from Why I Hate Straws

"I finally decided to try one of the new, non-threatening light bulbs - you know, one of those curly things that looks like soft-serve ice cream, costs more than a tanning bed, and is guaranteed to save me up to 12 cents between now and the formation of any new continents."

"You may be thinking, though probably not, 'how does a mere mortal build a web site?' Well, it's really quite simple. I type normal human words, wrap them in weird code words, and suddenly you're able to download air-brushed pictures of moody Nordic women."

"After thanking himself, and then introducing himself, and then thanking himself for inviting himself, the President actually said, out loud, 'next page.'"

Online author Barry Parham unleashes this set of satire, humor, and indignations. His perorations poke at family, dating, politics, culture, nature, good and bad decisions, and ferrets.

Editorial Reviews

Review

Parham's delivery is so slick and his punchlines so accessible ... he has mastered the art of the humorous list and proves that he really only needs one sentence to bring you to tears with laughter.
--Weston Locher (amazon.com review)

About the Author

Barry Parham relentlessly documents the humorous facets and foibles of our shared human condition, and has been sharing his irreverent observations for some time, through humor columns, essays and short stories.

Parham's first book, the 2009 sleeper, "Why I Hate Straws," has received numerous awards. "Why I Hate Straws" is an eclectic compilation of observations about life on Planet Earth. His "what's wrong with this picture?" commentaries run the gamut of topics from family, to politics, to dating (or not dating) and even ferrets. From the frustrations of trying to save the planet, one light bulb at a time, to analyzing the inane concepts that define daily television advertising, these brisk, bite-sized stories will strike a chord with anyone who grew up in (or in spite of) American culture. Includes the award-winning stories "Going Green, Seeing Red" and "Driving Miss Conception."

In October 2010, Barry published "Sorry, We Can't Use Funny," another award-winning collection of general-topic satire and humor, and the more targeted "Blush: Politics and other unnatural acts."

"The Middle-Age of Aquarius" (2011) is Parham's 4th collection of humor, satire and observations, and features more award-winning stories, including 'Comfortably Dumb,' 'Snowblind' and 'The Zodiac Buzz-Killer.' Most recently, his work appeared in the 2011 national humor anthology, "My Funny Valentine."

Parham is an honors graduate of the University of Georgia, a music fanatic and a self-described eco-narcissist.

Product Details

• Paperback: 248 pages
• Publisher: BookSurge Publishing (September 14, 2009)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1439254575
• ISBN-13: 978-1439254578
• Product Dimensions: 7.9 x 5.2 x 1 inches
• Shipping Weight: 14.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (28 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #2,047,569 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Barry Parham is a freelance web developer and the author of humor columns, essays and short stories. He is a music fanatic, a 1981 honors graduate of the University of Georgia, and a self-described eco-narcissist.

Barry is the author of the 2009 sleeper, "Why I Hate Straws," a 248-page collection of humor and satire including the award-winning stories, 'Going Green, Seeing Red' & 'Driving Miss Conception.'

In October 2010, Barry published "Sorry, We Can't Use Funny," another award-winning collection of general-topic satire and humor, and the more targeted "Blush: Politics and other unnatural acts."

"The Middle-Age of Aquarius" (2011) is Parham's 4th collection of humor, satire and observations, and features more award-winning stories, including 'Comfortably Dumb,' 'Snowblind' and 'The Zodiac Buzz-Killer.' Most recently, his work appeared in the 2011 national humor anthology, "My Funny Valentine."

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

3 of 3 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A Purely FUN Read!, October 16, 2009

By 

George Brockenbrough (South Carolina) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Why I Hate Straws: An offbeat worldview of an offbeat world (Paperback)

If you're having a bad day, pick up this book and see what happens! To say it's a fun read is really an understatment. I've followed this author's ruminations for years and was really looking forward to this compilation of many of his funniest past pieces plus many new ones. It's cleverly done with short chapters that can be covered in five minutes - if that's all the time you have. I haven't read Dave Barry lately, but the pieces in this book bring back memories of his writing style and humorous reactions to things he encounters in real life. It's a hoot!

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Perfectly Offbeat, March 28, 2010

By 

Weston Locher "Author of Musings on Minutiae" (Orlando, FL) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

Amazon Verified Purchase

This review is from: Why I Hate Straws: An offbeat worldview of an offbeat world (Paperback)

Once you discover why funny man Barry Parham hates straws, you'll never look at one the same way again. As you get caught up in his offbeat world view you'll also never look at Alaska, Barbies, or Joe Biden the same way either.

This book collects a myriad of Parham's weekly humor columns into a physical tome that looks great on your bedside table. Just beware of the sleep you may start losing if you choose to read passages prior to bedtime. Also beware of your significant other, who may get annoyed with your laughter while she tries to sleep.

Barry's columns touch on classic themes but remain relevant by challenging current happenings in the worlds of pop culture and politics with smart humor and clever wordplay. His delivery is so slick and his punchlines so accessible that if this book doesn't make you laugh hysterically then you should check your pulse immediately.

Parham has mastered the art of the humorous list and proves that he really only needs one sentence to bring you to tears with laughter. If this is only his debut book, then bachelor (or is it single guy?) Barry Parham has one of the brightest futures in humor writing.

I highly recommend this book for people who enjoy a good laugh... and to sad clowns.

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars BOOM!!!!, March 7, 2010

By 

Geno "Badcat" (USA) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Why I Hate Straws: An offbeat worldview of an offbeat world (Paperback)

Where do I start? My head is spinning from laughter. Barry Parham has a writing style that is shared only by a few. To say that Parham is funny is simply a starting point. Barry shoots bullets in "reverently irreverent" and "politically incorrect" caliber. His targets are the stupid philosophies and high profile political characters of our day. Parham does not take pot shots at his targets. Instead, he takes careful aim, squeezes the trigger of humor, and watches the feathers fly. No one, and nothing, is safe in his sights. Buy the book and laugh yourself sick.