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Why I Love Men: The Joys of Dating Paperback – November 1, 2009

8 customer reviews

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Editorial Reviews


"Why I Love Men: The Joys of Dating is filled with solid advice, helpful assessments and interesting stories that will change the way single women view dating and relationships. A must-read for women looking for love!" (Marci Shimoff, NY Times bestselling author of Happy for No Reason) --Review by Marci Shimoff, NY Times bestselling author of Happy for No Reason

"J.J. Smith cuts through the chatter with some tried-and-true cures to our relationship malaise. There are other books of this type but what separates J.J. Smith's book from the others is she dares to tell the raw truth about the power of sex. The book is written in a conversational tone that grabs the reader with charm, style, almost like an intimate whisper from a sista friend." (, the African American Literature Book Club) --Review by, the African American Literature Book Club rated Why I Love Men: The Joys of Dating as EXCELLENT!

"Why I Love Men is a wonderful guide for the single, heterosexual woman looking for tips on how to improve her chances on the dating scene. Why I Love Men provides an excellent resource for single women who believe they really need assistance and inspiration in their relationships with men." ( --Review by EXCELLENT!

"I found Why I Love Men to offer a refreshing, up-to-date approach on dating. J.J. Smith also offers a wealth of advice on dating for women who are either getting back into the dating game or dissatisfied with their current dating situations. I HIGHLY recommend this book. I truly enjoyed reading Why I Love Men and found J.J. Smith's writing to be highly motivating and energizing." ( --Review by

"If you enjoyed Steve Harvey's frank and funny Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man, you will love this book! Why I Love Men: The Joys of Dating is extremely well written and provides excellent advice for single women of all colors. After reading J.J. Smith's insightful new book, Why I Love Men: The Joys of Dating, my first reaction is that J.J. Smith has got it going ON! She epitomizes style and class, and women everywhere, single or not, would do well to take her advice. READ IT!" ( --Review by

From the Publisher

Here's What You'll Learn in WHY I LOVE MEN: THE JOYS OF DATING: * How to become the woman every man desires... you might think you know what men truly want, but I'll give you a hint: IT ISN'T WHAT THEY'RE TELLING YOU! Learn specific strategies that help you become an exciting and highly desirable woman without sacrificing your integrity or morality

* Before you begin the dating process, it's absolutely crucial for you to UNDERSTAND YOUR PERSONAL RMV (Relationship Market Value) which helps you determine WHEN you are truly ready for a successful, happy relationship and how to attract the right man for you!

* There isn't a single man alive who can resist looking at an attractive, sexy woman. Even if you don't think you could ever be considered attractive or sexy, YOU'LL GET THE SURPRISE OF YOUR LIFE when you read, digest and start applying these celebrity make-over secrets you'll find in this book!

* TWELVE TECHNIQUES YOU CAN BEGIN USING TODAY to bring out the "sexy" in you and start gaining some attention as early as tomorrow night! (And most of these don't even require you leaving your house!)

* Some extremely important things you need to do and learn if you want to UNDERSTAND MEN BETTER. Doing these simple things will give you a much better idea of what men think about women. This gives you an uncanny ability to decipher what's going on inside his head when you're just getting to know him!

* SIX CHARACTERISTICS OF DIVAS you should begin modeling right away to become incredibly confident and ooze with insatiable sex appeal... you'll even learn how to become the center of attention wherever you go!

* Uncover which one of five potential roles you will play in any relationship... know what these roles are, and how, why and IF you should play them. If you don't CHOOSE WHICH ROLE YOU WILL PLAY FROM THE VERY BEGINNING of the relationship, he'll choose for you and will expect you to either play your role, or exit stage-left!

* Sometimes it can be hard to determine if a man is right for you. Or, maybe your intuition tells you he's no good for you, but you stay in the relationship and desperately try to make it work. In this book, you'll LEARN HOW TO IDENTIFY A MATE who is a perfect match for what you're looking for in a great guy!

* SECRETS OF THE *REVERSED* 80/20 RULE, and how following this golden rule for every man you meet could propel you into the most meaningful, enjoyable and fulfilling relationship of your life. Too often women totally get this wrong and end up letting what would otherwise be "the perfect guy" slip right through their fingers without realizing the damage they're doing!

* The dating game just isn't what it used to be--and the ways to meet and date men have undergone a drastic transformation. In the past, women typically met men in grocery stores, gyms, bars & lounges, exercise centers and car shows. These places can still be effective, but they have also gotten stale and withered from the times. In this book, you'll LEARN FIVE HOT, NEW WAYS TO MEET the kind of men you want--easier than ever before!

* One of the most important things to consider on a first date is the location... that's because the location affects the way you and your date are able to interact with each other. Learn four GREAT locations for getting to know the real him, and GET HIM COMMUNICATING OPENLY WITH YOU... and also learn four TERRIBLE places to go on a date that will only waste your (or his) time and money... and will mercilessly rob you of interacting with him at all!

* HOW TO COMMUNICATE ON A FIRST DATE -- even when everything else is going well up to the point of getting him interested to the point of asking you out on a first date, it can all be ruined as quickly as it began unless you follow these vital rules for communication... Know what to say and exactly how to say it to keep him absolutely enthralled with every word that comes out of your mouth!

* Have you ever met a guy and you thought you hit the jackpot, but then he never called you again? Chances are, it was your fault. Learn why IT IS YOUR RESPONSIBILITY TO IDENTIFY AND FIX YOUR "FATAL FLAWS" that make you less attractive to men. They're called 'fatal' because typically these are THE deal breakers in any relationship!

* If you don't have one of these when you meet a man, you are doomed to quickly become clingy and desperate, and try to attach yourself to his life. LEARN WHAT YOU MUST NEVER DO, and why doing this could mean the "kiss of death" before your relationship even has the slightest chance for survival!

* Many single women jump in and out of relationships because THEY DON'T WANT TO BE ALONE. But there is a MAJOR difference between being "lonely" and "aloneness." Once you learn how to truthfully separate these from one another, you will never be lonely again. You'll have a life full of family, friends and amazing dating experiences!

* Before getting too serious with a guy, you need to be sure to ask him some innocent (but very revealing) questions to quickly get to bottom of who he is, what he does and how he lives his life. Learn eight of THE MOST IMPORTANT QUESTIONS YOU CAN EVER ASK A GUY to cleverly uncover any clues for major personality flaws or "red flags" that'll tell you right off the bat if he's the right guy for you!

* And much, much more...

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Product Details

  • Paperback: 220 pages
  • Publisher: Adiva Publishing (November 1, 2009)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0982301804
  • ISBN-13: 978-0982301807
  • Product Dimensions: 5.5 x 0.5 x 8.5 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 8 ounces
  • Average Customer Review: 3.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (8 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #389,061 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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More About the Author

JJ Smith is a NY Times Bestselling author, nutritionist and certified weight-loss expert, passionate relationship/life coach, and inspirational speaker. She has been featured on The Steve Harvey Show, The View, The Montel Williams Show, and The Jamie Foxx Show. JJ has made appearances on the NBC, FOX, CBS and CW Network television stations, as well as in the pages of Glamour, Essence, Heart and Soul, and Ladies Home Journal. Since reclaiming her health, losing weight, and discovering a "second youth" in her forties, bestselling author JJ Smith has become the voice of inspiration to women who want to lose weight, be healthy, and get their sexy back! JJ Smith provides lifestyle solutions for losing weight, getting healthy, looking younger and improving your love life! To learn more, check out

JJ has dedicated her life to the field of healthy eating and living. JJ's passion is to educate others and share with them the natural remedies to stay slim, restore health, and look and feel younger. JJ has studied many philosophies of natural healing and learned from some of the great teachers of our time. After studying and applying knowledge about how to heal the body and lose weight, JJ went on to receive several certifications--one as a certified nutritionist and another as a certified weight-management expert. She is also a member of the American Nutrition Association (ANA).

JJ's newest book, The 10-Day Green Smoothie Cleanse, is a proven plan to safely and quickly detoxify the body, and jumpstart weight loss. Most people who follow the plan strictly experience weight loss of up to 15 pounds in only ten days. JJ's last book, a #1 Bestseller, Lose Weight: Without Dieting or Working Out!, is a revolutionary system that teaches proven methods for permanent weight loss that anyone can follow, no matter their size, income level, or educational level. And the end result is a healthy, sexy, slim body.

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

21 of 22 people found the following review helpful By Isabel Brown on November 28, 2011
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
Man! Bought this book because of all the 5 star reviews even though I felt the Kindle edition was overpriced. MISTAKE!! Women are valuable as is. They do not have to become sex objects and learn pole dancing and stripping or go to strip clubs. Where are the men who do take pole dancing classes? Where are the naked men? No, it's more often that the women are the sexual objects. It is not empowering to women but degrading.. whether they know it or not. JJ, you want to keep mentioning God in your book and then talk about not wanting marriage? You tell us to live like men have for years.. with more than one "relationship" at a time? It is not all about sex. There is something deeper and only in a real honorable relationship can there be any really good sex. This "God believer" (haha) is saying that open marriage is the solution to marital problems! "We decided to let God guide our hearts to explore options that would help to maintain our commitment to one other. To us, commitment doesn't mean you have to be sexually exclusive.." OK JJ Since this was the solution, why did'nt it work? You got divorced!!! Of course it doesn't work. Because it is definitely NOT a solution! I hate this book. I could not read beyond this point as I saw that she was going further into degradation of women.. "be the woman a man wants." What more are you making yourself, ladies, than a slut, concubine-slave, or property of the man? Or worse, aquiring all the sickening qualities of the worst men?
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8 of 9 people found the following review helpful By Anna Jackson on May 13, 2013
Format: Paperback
I strongly advise that you do not purchase this book. A few months after a long term relationship, i had thought i should try and boost my confidence a little. So i brought this book...It terribly degrading, claiming that women should behave like men and just sleep around and have ''fun'' with dating.J.J Smith contradicts herself several occasions. Firstly the title is 'why i love men' yet she de-values mens worth stating that "all men will cheat on you". She further describes her previous partners (a fair few!), and states that no of them have remained faithful. This brings me on to my next point; she speaks of God and spiritual needs an awful lot yet she undermines marriage and encourages sleeping around, pole dancing,slutty attire, striping and porn.

To evaluate this poor dating 'advice' book, i can say that it is not worth your time. Not impressed.
If you are looking for an honest, down-to-earth, easy to read with a bit of giggles dating advice have to, have to buy Matthew Hussey's book! It is amazing to say the least, if you need convincing watch any of his YouTube videos or check out the 5-star reviews.
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful By Ms. Tee on April 16, 2012
Format: Paperback
Just finished reading Why I love Men: The joys of dating. I found this book to be very interesting. This book to me was not about getting a man,but It gives women a chance to see exactly how we have fallen off of being a woman. The assignments at the end of each chapter makes you sit down and think of the woman you really want to be. It also, make you define yourself. It is easy to blame some one else and hard to look in the mirror and take charge of YOU. In today's culture women are not understanding themselves and allowing men to define them. Most of the time we are choosing WRONG men for us because we do not know ourselves. What I understood from this book is men judge you before they take that first step toward you. If you want that right guy for you, LEARN YOURSELF FIRST!!!!! AND HE WILL FIND YOU>
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful By Marki Mayle on October 10, 2014
Format: Paperback
I absolutely LOVE this book!!! It was written and has many experiences that many of us women can relate to! This book does not encourage Porn, pole dancing or slutty have read it and to only have taken that out of it means your mind is dysfunctional! It is about a woman empowering herself and learning from her own life lessons!! Most importantly it is about self love!!! This is definitley a 5 star book!!!!
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