Why Men Are the Way They Are [Paperback]

Warren Farrell (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: September 1, 1988

Farrell has conducted role-playing workshops with thousands of men and women for more than 20 years. His ground-breaking research is the basis for the book, which most experts agree may be one of the most extraordinary, eye-opening books of our time.

Editorial Reviews

From Library Journal

In a question-and-answer format, Farrell ( The Myth of Male Power , Audio Reviews, LJ 10/1/93) explains life from a man's perspective. If you've wondered why men find it hard to commit, why they provide solutions instead of empathy, why they can't just stop and ask directions, or why they spend so much time at work, this audiobook is for you. Farrell addresses the other side of sexism, asking why women, if they want equality, expect men to pick up the check at dinner. He explains the male experience of being a "success object" as well as explaining why men make women into "sex objects" to lessen the pain of rejection. The listener learns what men talk about with the "guys" and why vulnerability is so difficult for men to express. Farrell initiates a dialog that will contribute to an understanding and maybe even a truce between the sexes. Recommended for all contemporary collections.
- Nancy Paul, Brandon P.L., Wis.
Copyright 1994 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

From the Publisher

9 1.5-hour cassettes --This text refers to the Audio Cassette edition.

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Paperback: 411 pages
• Publisher: Berkley (September 1, 1988)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 042511094X
• ISBN-13: 978-0425110942
• Product Dimensions: 6.7 x 4.1 x 1.1 inches
• Shipping Weight: 8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (35 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #209,990 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
  • #6 in Books > 4-for-3 Books > Nonfiction > Social Sciences > Gender Studies > Men
  • #8 in Books > 4-for-3 Books > Health, Mind & Body > Psychology & Counseling > Social Psychology & Interactions
  • #62 in Books > 4-for-3 Books > Health, Mind & Body > Relationships > Love & Romance

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

60 of 65 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Women, dissatisfied with your man? Read this book!, August 8, 2005

By 

Constance A. Brennen (Michigan) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Why Men Are the Way They Are (Paperback)

This is the 4th or 5th time I've had to order this book. I have loaned it out so many times, that I no longer purchase just one.

My husband and I read it when it first came out - and were both astonished. I'm still astonished that something so politically incorrect could have become a best-seller. Yet when I read it, I knew intuitively that Farrell was right; reverse sexism is rampant -and it's true - one can make a joke about a white male that would be considered racist, sexist,etc. were it made about anyone else. It's everywhere.

I loved the way Farrell illustrated his points - following advertising, television, popular reading. He pointed out how women have learned to demand more and more, while men are still baffled about what they thought women wanted in the first place.The tragedy is that women really believe that they MUST have a sensitive, caring man....who is also an Alpha male! The impossibility of meeting such contradictory demands confuses men AND women who do not see that their "needs" are really "wants" and are incredibly unrealistic - which sets them up for disappointment and pain in relationships.

I'm a therapist, and this book is required reading for anyone in couples counseling. I have also recommended it to countless newly divorced men still reeling with the injustice of it all. In addition, women often find the book freeing - for it gives them permission to love and accept their human husbands - and to re-examine their own often skewed values.

Nice job, Farrell - and you did it without mentioning drumming even once. Thanks.

Connie Brennen

32 of 35 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Must Read, December 6, 1999

By 

Paul Scott (The West Coast,) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Why Men Are the Way They Are (Paperback)

An absolute must read, for both sexes: things you always suspected were true, but never, ever dared say out loud. Sanity in printed form. I have given 30 or so copies of this book to friends, and all have said it made blindingly clear the basic assumptions underlying what men and women do to each other. It WILL cure your love life. I have found that the book helps me see what is going on in social and business situations in a way so straightfoward and enlightening that I sometimes break out laughing from sheer astonishment. Best of all, the machinations of both female and male enforcers of certain societal obligations will seem just quaint. AND IT HAS CARTOONS!

34 of 38 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars The book gives the understanding that creates gender peace., July 13, 1998

By A Customer

This review is from: Why Men Are the Way They Are (Paperback)

Years ago, as a "male feminist," I was a contributing editor of a feminist newsletter. I wrote often about the oppressions of women. Then one day while in the throes of researching why women were paid (then) just 59 cents to men's dollar, I came across Warren Farrell's "Why Men Are the Way They Are." I could not put the book down. It was jarring. It turned upside down everything I'd learned about the sexes. Most jarring was that for the first time in my life I felt understood as a man. And I now truly understood women. I went from hating my own sex and trying to be women's savior, to caring deeply for both men and women. That's the power of understanding that this book creates. It's sad that ideological feminists still denounce and plot against it.