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Why Men Hate Going to Church Paperback – November 1, 2011


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Product Details

  • Paperback: 256 pages
  • Publisher: Thomas Nelson; Rev Upd edition (November 1, 2011)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 078523215X
  • ISBN-13: 978-0785232155
  • Product Dimensions: 0.8 x 5.5 x 8.5 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 8.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.1 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (154 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #29,416 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

About the Author

David Murrow is an award-winning television producer and writer based in Alaska, most recently working for Sarah Palin. A best-selling author, he is also director of Church for Men, an organization that helps churches connect with men and boys. David and his wife, Gina, have three children.

Customer Reviews

The great thing about this book is that it is well written and has a great flow to it and has very short chapters.
TLamontspeaks
A couple of different times I just looked at my wife and smiled because many of things that I read in the book were happening right before my eyes.
Juan Cruz Jr
I barely got the first paragraph read before my husband took over the book and basically read it all in one night.
Happy Camper

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

35 of 44 people found the following review helpful By Ryan A. Reed on January 4, 2012
Format: Paperback
Why Men Hate Going to Church (Review)

David Murrow's book "Why Men Hate Going to Church" was an interesting read to say the least. Murrow's writing was compelling and the book was an overall easy read as you flip through pages of his analysis of what he believes to be a persistent problem within the Western Church. The author identifies that there is an issue with male attendance at churches throughout the United States and asserts that the issue lies primarily in the over feminization of Christianity.

Murrow presents valid concerns as statistics show that male attendance is in decline in many American churches. He believes that the core issue is that most churches are geared towards woman in their practices and methodology. As I read through "Why Men Hate Going to Church" I found the book accomplishing one good thing: it made me think. I had to ask myself what I believe the causes for the low numbers in male attendees. This motivated thinking is where my positive encounter with this book ended.

In the book Murrow paints a picture of the average male as being, in my opinion, brainless, bored, and lacking in attention while those that are academic, artistic, and creative are portrayed as effeminate. He claims that the church has been geared towards woman almost out of laziness and that the church must be reclaimed for male domination. The problem lies in the fact that Murrow's portrayal of masculinity is limited at best and chauvinistic at its worst.

Ultimately, I believe that there are two main problems with Murrow's approach within "Why Men Hate Going to Church". First, the practices that Murrow identifies are hindering male attendance are not due to feminization but overall poor ministerial practice.
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7 of 7 people found the following review helpful By Chris French on March 12, 2012
Format: Paperback
I'm sure you've noticed a decline in the male population in our churches. Why are men fleeing from the church like a fat kid from gym class? Murrow thinks that we've feminized the church. We've focused on the Lamb of God to the exclusion of the Lion of Judah. He may have a valid point. Today's church identifies more with the love, helping and relationships than with success, achievement and power, which is interesting because the first grouping comes from the women's values in the book Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus. The second grouping comes from the same book, but it's the values men cherish the most. While we as a church have been focusing on relationship and love, our men, the driving force behind our growth, have been slipping out the back door looking for some place where they fit in. They're looking for a place where their talents and hobbies won't make them outcasts.

How do we fix this problem? Murrow offers a couple of solutions in the framework of an entire mindset change. We need to think of the church as the Kingdom instead of a family. In a family relationships rule the day, not so in a kingdom. We need to show a more balanced view of Jesus. Yes He loved children, but He was also driven, very skilled, highly successful and very powerful. We need to play to our boys strengths in Bible class. Girls learn to read faster and read better than boys their age. When we ask a boy to read out loud in class we're setting him up to leave the church one day. Our format for Sunday School is also counter-productive for our active boys. We ask them to sit still and listen for 30-45 minutes and when they can't meet that expectations we embarrass them by punishing them. The answer is to get men in the classroom for our young children.
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5 of 5 people found the following review helpful By Dubious Disciple on January 22, 2012
Format: Paperback
I have a confession to make. I accepted this book for review thinking it might be good for a few laughs. Get a guy through the church doors? What are you gonna do, turn it into a sports bar?

I was wrong about David's book. Oh, I laughed alright--a lot!--but all the time I was chuckling, I was nodding. David has nailed it.

Funny thing is, speaking as a guy, we don't know why we hate church. We just know it's uncomfortable. The awkwardness has to be explained to us ... and when it is, we finally nod knowingly.

David probably thinks his book is for pastors. No, it's for couples. Ladies, if you want your guy sitting next to you in the pew, read this. Then find a new church together. One where the pastor has read the book, too.
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful By Reformed Credobaptist on November 16, 2011
Format: Paperback
The book is divided into three main sections: "Where are the Men," "Church Culture v. Man Culture," and "Calling the Church Back to Men." Each of these sections is divided up into multiple chapters. Murrow moves from establishing that there is a problem (i.e., men are significantly underrepresented in the church at large) to showing some of the reasons (i.e., church is girly) to putting forth some suggestions for how to fix the problem.

There are a number of positives to mention in this book. First, I think church-going men will get a good laugh at the various descriptions of the more "feminine" aspects of church life. We've all been there - extended emotive praise choruses, holding hands with a guy across the aisle, hand-sewn banners in the sanctuary, etc. Many of the anecdotal stories resonated with me personally and were very humorous.

Second, I generally agree that there has been a feminization of the church as men have become increasingly MIA. Even when there are men physically present in large numbers, they often are absent where it really counts. Leadership may be vested in males theoretically, but often these men are passive and fail to provide and execute a clear vision for the church. As Murrow rightly observes, "high achieving men" typically get fed up with churches because of "the inefficiency of church meetings," unproductiveness, and lack of proper focus (p. 30). He goes on to say:

Being a church leader is a frustrating experience because a man cannot lead like a man. Instead he must be careful, sentimental, and thrifty; make every decision by consensus; talk everything to death. Decisions take months or years to make, and if someone's feelings might be hurt, we don't move forward (p. 33).

I've been there. Maybe you have too.
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