Why Men Hate Going to Church [Paperback]

David Murrow (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: November 1, 2011

“Church is boring.”

“It’s irrelevant.”

“It’s full of hypocrites.”

You’ve heard the excuses —now learn the real reasons men and boys are fleeing churches of every kind, all over the world.

Christianity is the only world religion with a chronic shortage of men. David Murrow identifies the barriers to male participation, and explains why it’s so hard to motivate the men who do go to church. Then, he takes you inside several fast-growing congregations that are winning the hearts of men and boys.

The first release of Why Men Hate Going to Church sold more than 125,000 copies and was published in multiple languages. This edition is completely revised, reorganized, and rewritten, with more than 70 percent new content. Why Men Hate Going to Church does not call men back to church—it calls the church back to men.

“This is one of the most helpful books for understanding why men are indifferent toward church and how churches must change to welcome men.”
—MARK DRISCOLL, pastor of Mars Hill Church; cofounder of Acts 29 Church Planting; founder of The Resurgence

“[This] is a prophetic and relevant ‘snap-out-of-it’ masterwork that every pastor must read—not just for the sake of the kingdom, but also for his own sake and sanity in ministry.”
—KENNY LUCK, men’s pastor, Saddleback Church

“David Murrow knows how to connect with men. Where was this guy when I was twenty?”
—FRANK PASTORE, host of America’s largest
Christian talk show, KKLA (Los Angeles)

GROUP DISCUSSION GUIDE AVAILABLE FOR FREE AT WWW.CHURCHFORMEN.COM/GUIDES

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Murrow, a television writer and producer, asks and effectively answers the question: "What is it about modern Christianity that is driving men away?" Just 35% of American men say they attend church weekly, he reports, and women make up more than 60% of the typical congregation on a given Sunday. Murrow contends that the church caters to women, children and the elderly by creating a safe, predictable environment. This alienates anyone fond of risk taking, including young men and women, but men are affected most. In order to reach men, Murrow suggests, churches must "adjust the thermostat" to embrace the masculine spirit: let men lead; give them tasks; encourage pastors to show strength and teach men through object lessons, letting them discover truth for themselves. Two of the best outreach methods: start rigorous mentoring programs and help men make friends with other men. Murrow bases his conclusions on what he claims are legitimate biological and cultural gender differences. He is aware that these observations might offend, and his thesis will find few takers among those who believe that the church needs less, not more, male influence. But Murrow's work is quite likely to get an enthusiastic reception from many Christian men. It contains sharp observations that will provoke much discussion—and, perhaps, some change. (Mar. 24)
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

From Booklist

According to the author, American men hate going to church, as evidenced by a wealth of statistics that point to an ever-widening gap between female and male churchgoers. Regardless of denomination, it appears that most Christian churches are unintentionally designed to appeal to women and children. How to solve the growing gender gap in congregations of every type? Murrow advocates injecting a strong shot of testosterone into the proceedings to restore the masculine spirit to the church. Churches need to provide a more challenging and confrontational approach to religion and spiritual issues instead of concentrating on more traditional-- and female-oriented--calls for conformity, control, and ceremony. Whether or not you fully buy into his somewhat simplistic hypothesis and solution, Murrow does provide some provocative food for thought on a hot-button topic. Margaret Flanagan
Copyright © American Library Association. All rights reserved --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Paperback: 256 pages
• Publisher: Thomas Nelson; Rev Upd edition (November 1, 2011)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 078523215X
• ISBN-13: 978-0785232155
• Product Dimensions: 5.5 x 0.7 x 8.5 inches
• Shipping Weight: 8.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.1 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (323 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #35,215 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

David Murrow is not the kid of guy you'd expect to write books about men and church. He's not a pastor, professor or theologian. He's just a guy in the pews who noticed a disturbing trend: churches are losing their men and boys.

So in 2001, he started doing some research, which led to his first book, Why Men Hate Going to Church. To everyone's surprise, it became an inspirational bestseller, with more than 100,000 copies in print. His efforts have spawned articles in the New York Times, Wall Street Journal, and the Chicago Tribune, to name a few. You may have seen him on PBS, the NBC Nightly News, or the Fox News Channel talking about Christianity's gender gap.

David was raised in Texas, but has lived in Alaska since 1985. He's a television producer and writer by trade. He's worked for just about every channel on the dial - from ABC to the Travel Channel. One of his specialties is political advertising. In fact, he wrote and produced Sarah Palin's first TV commercial back in 2002.

David has been married to Gina since 1984, and they have three children, two grandchildren and a dachshund that thinks she's a grandchild. To contact David, send an e-mail to: [e-mail].

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

92 of 105 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars "The Stallions Hang Out In Bars, The Geldings Hang Out In Church." February 10, 2006

By Tractor_Man

Format:Paperback

"The church of the first century was a magnet to males. Jesus' strong leadership, blunt honesty, and bold action mesmerized men."

"But today's churches appeal more to women and folks over 50."

Males in church are perceived, right or wrong, as passive, bookish, soft, nice, well-behaved, neutered wimps.

David Murrow has written an absolute must-read book for all churches interested in bringing men back, restoring a proper balance of the masculine and feminine spirits within the local church, creating an environment in which men will lovingly take charge, thrive, grow and be soldiers again in the Lord's army.

I don't consider myself a type-A personality. I'm pretty laid-back, studious and love going to church. I've love fellowshipping with God's people. I'm not a knuckle-dragging Neanderthal that gets distracted after 10 minutes of a sermon. I don't need the constant stimulus of entertainment to hold my interest, but I found myself burning with a `holy anger' reading this book, mostly at myself for how `feminine' I've allowed myself to become over the years. And please, no more `Jesus is my boyfriend' songs !!

Two other men I know have been deeply affected to the positive by this book and are absolutely fired up about restoring the masculine spirit in their lives as well as their local church. One of them told me recently "I'm hanging up my skirt - not going to wear it anymore."

David is not advocating a bombastic, abusive male domination of our churches. Don't panic ladies, but let men be men. We were created to lead and contribute. "Most men will not invest themselves in anything that does not offer a shot at greatness. Boys do not dream of sitting in a cubicle; they dream of slaying the dragon, rescuing the princess, and absconding with the treasure." The church thermostat, to attract men, must be set on Challenge, not Comfort, Ceremony, Control, Conformity or Confrontation.

It's going to take courage to change the way we do church, if we want to reach unchurched men. Some won't for fear of change that will upset the status quo. Others will find that they will have to leave their churches rather than settle for living lives of quiet desperation. "Men need vision, not just relationships, to stay motivated in church."

One of the most stunning but encouraging statistics was that between 1994-2004, men's church attendance was flat, but men's participation in small, spiritual groups doubled. 9 million additional men joined a small group Bible study. Some folks are finding the traditional church model is not cutting it and have opted instead for a more informal but intense, iron sharpening iron, discipleship format.

Biblical references aside, wolves have a noble bearing, look intelligent, focused, and yes, even a bit 'dangerous'. Labrador retrievers, on the other hand, tend to be gentle, passive, friendly and harmless. And then you have the 'foo-foo' dogs that women dress up in pink sweaters and skirts... 'nough said.

I can't recommend this book enough.

97 of 115 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars You'd better read this... April 21, 2005

By James Porter

Format:Paperback

If your reading of Eldredge's "Wild At Heart" left you feeling a little "squishy," you'll probably find the meat you were looking for in Murrow's book. As a pastor who frequently wrings his hands wondering "where are the men?" this book was incredibly insightful as to where they have gone and why they're not in my congregation on Sunday mornings.

It will change the way we do church around here, for sure. It will confirm some of your key suspicions, an--in my case-- challenge me to make changes I know have to come if we're going to see men in church again. The guy's a good writer, too.

28 of 31 people found the following review helpful

3.0 out of 5 stars Good Book to Open Dialogue June 25, 2008

By B. Hankins

Format:Paperback

While I feel that Murrow uses some pretty broad generalizations, stereotyping, and over-statements to stress his point(s), he at least brings up some very important and relevant issues that a lot of pastors are either unaware of, will not address, or maybe even admit to. Of course, as with any Christian book, one must read it critically in light of Scripture and only glean out of it what is beneficial for spreading God's fame among all people.

I am a bi-vocational pastor of a church plant in the (very traditional) Deep South. Coming from a business background, I have had the opportunity to see the "behind the scenes" of a lot of church staffs from a different perspective. One thing that I have observed over and over, is that many - not all, but many - full-time pastors have lost touch with the culture in which they are trying to minister to because they have been in the "church bubble" for so long. Many do not have a work ethic that would even stand up in the secular workplace. Yet some of these guys are paid twice the salary of what most of their congregation makes. So, sadly, they do not have an accurate perception of what is reality among their people, and therefore have no clue how to truly lead and disciple in a way that is relevant and Christ-honoring. In fact, most of the churches around here could be transported back to the 1950's without even skipping a beat. The sad thing is that most don't even want to change. Methods can and should change; the Message must never change.

Bottom line, I would recommend this book to any church staff because I believe it would be a good tool in at least opening dialogue among the church leaders and possibly expanding their vision of what the church should be contextually in their culture and harnessing the God-given power that is currently untapped, especially among the men.