Why Men Hate Going to Church [Paperback]

David Murrow (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: October 21, 2004

It's Sunday morning. Where are all the men? Golfing? Playing softball? Watching the tube? Mowing the lawn? Sleeping? One place you won't find them is in church. Less than 40 percent of adults in most churches are men, and 20 to 25 percent of married churchgoing women attend without their husbands. And why are the men who do go to church so bored? Why won't they let God change their hearts?

David Murrow's groundbreaking new book reveals why men are the world's largest unreached people group. With eye-opening research and a persuasive grasp on the facts, Murrow explains the problem and offers hope and encouragement to women, pastors, and men. Why Men Hate Going to Church does not call men back to the church-it calls the church back to men.

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Murrow, a television writer and producer, asks and effectively answers the question: "What is it about modern Christianity that is driving men away?" Just 35% of American men say they attend church weekly, he reports, and women make up more than 60% of the typical congregation on a given Sunday. Murrow contends that the church caters to women, children and the elderly by creating a safe, predictable environment. This alienates anyone fond of risk taking, including young men and women, but men are affected most. In order to reach men, Murrow suggests, churches must "adjust the thermostat" to embrace the masculine spirit: let men lead; give them tasks; encourage pastors to show strength and teach men through object lessons, letting them discover truth for themselves. Two of the best outreach methods: start rigorous mentoring programs and help men make friends with other men. Murrow bases his conclusions on what he claims are legitimate biological and cultural gender differences. He is aware that these observations might offend, and his thesis will find few takers among those who believe that the church needs less, not more, male influence. But Murrow's work is quite likely to get an enthusiastic reception from many Christian men. It contains sharp observations that will provoke much discussion—and, perhaps, some change. (Mar. 24)
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

From Booklist

According to the author, American men hate going to church, as evidenced by a wealth of statistics that point to an ever-widening gap between female and male churchgoers. Regardless of denomination, it appears that most Christian churches are unintentionally designed to appeal to women and children. How to solve the growing gender gap in congregations of every type? Murrow advocates injecting a strong shot of testosterone into the proceedings to restore the masculine spirit to the church. Churches need to provide a more challenging and confrontational approach to religion and spiritual issues instead of concentrating on more traditional-- and female-oriented--calls for conformity, control, and ceremony. Whether or not you fully buy into his somewhat simplistic hypothesis and solution, Murrow does provide some provocative food for thought on a hot-button topic. Margaret Flanagan
Copyright © American Library Association. All rights reserved

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Paperback: 256 pages
• Publisher: Thomas Nelson (October 21, 2004)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0785260382
• ISBN-13: 978-0785260387
• Product Dimensions: 8.2 x 5.4 x 0.8 inches
• Shipping Weight: 11.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.1 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (267 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #72,530 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

David Murrow is not the kid of guy you'd expect to write books about men and church. He's not a pastor, professor or theologian. He's just a guy in the pews who noticed a disturbing trend: churches are losing their men and boys.

So in 2001, he started doing some research, which led to his first book, Why Men Hate Going to Church. To everyone's surprise, it became an inspirational bestseller, with more than 100,000 copies in print. His efforts have spawned articles in the New York Times, Wall Street Journal, and the Chicago Tribune, to name a few. You may have seen him on PBS, the NBC Nightly News, or the Fox News Channel talking about Christianity's gender gap.

David was raised in Texas, but has lived in Alaska since 1985. He's a television producer and writer by trade. He's worked for just about every channel on the dial - from ABC to the Travel Channel. One of his specialties is political advertising. In fact, he wrote and produced Sarah Palin's first TV commercial back in 2002.

David has been married to Gina since 1984, and they have three children, two grandchildren and a dachshund that thinks she's a grandchild. To contact David, send an e-mail to: [e-mail].

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

74 of 84 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars "The Stallions Hang Out In Bars, The Geldings Hang Out In Church.", February 10, 2006

By 

Tractor_Man (Maine) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Why Men Hate Going to Church (Paperback)

"The church of the first century was a magnet to males. Jesus' strong leadership, blunt honesty, and bold action mesmerized men."

"But today's churches appeal more to women and folks over 50."

Males in church are perceived, right or wrong, as passive, bookish, soft, nice, well-behaved, neutered wimps.

David Murrow has written an absolute must-read book for all churches interested in bringing men back, restoring a proper balance of the masculine and feminine spirits within the local church, creating an environment in which men will lovingly take charge, thrive, grow and be soldiers again in the Lord's army.

I don't consider myself a type-A personality. I'm pretty laid-back, studious and love going to church. I've love fellowshipping with God's people. I'm not a knuckle-dragging Neanderthal that gets distracted after 10 minutes of a sermon. I don't need the constant stimulus of entertainment to hold my interest, but I found myself burning with a `holy anger' reading this book, mostly at myself for how `feminine' I've allowed myself to become over the years. And please, no more `Jesus is my boyfriend' songs !!

Two other men I know have been deeply affected to the positive by this book and are absolutely fired up about restoring the masculine spirit in their lives as well as their local church. One of them told me recently "I'm hanging up my skirt - not going to wear it anymore."

David is not advocating a bombastic, abusive male domination of our churches. Don't panic ladies, but let men be men. We were created to lead and contribute. "Most men will not invest themselves in anything that does not offer a shot at greatness. Boys do not dream of sitting in a cubicle; they dream of slaying the dragon, rescuing the princess, and absconding with the treasure." The church thermostat, to attract men, must be set on Challenge, not Comfort, Ceremony, Control, Conformity or Confrontation.

It's going to take courage to change the way we do church, if we want to reach unchurched men. Some won't for fear of change that will upset the status quo. Others will find that they will have to leave their churches rather than settle for living lives of quiet desperation. "Men need vision, not just relationships, to stay motivated in church."

One of the most stunning but encouraging statistics was that between 1994-2004, men's church attendance was flat, but men's participation in small, spiritual groups doubled. 9 million additional men joined a small group Bible study. Some folks are finding the traditional church model is not cutting it and have opted instead for a more informal but intense, iron sharpening iron, discipleship format.

Biblical references aside, wolves have a noble bearing, look intelligent, focused, and yes, even a bit 'dangerous'. Labrador retrievers, on the other hand, tend to be gentle, passive, friendly and harmless. And then you have the 'foo-foo' dogs that women dress up in pink sweaters and skirts... 'nough said.

I can't recommend this book enough.

89 of 104 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars You'd better read this..., April 21, 2005

By 

James Porter (Caldwell, ID USA) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Why Men Hate Going to Church (Paperback)

If your reading of Eldredge's "Wild At Heart" left you feeling a little "squishy," you'll probably find the meat you were looking for in Murrow's book. As a pastor who frequently wrings his hands wondering "where are the men?" this book was incredibly insightful as to where they have gone and why they're not in my congregation on Sunday mornings.

It will change the way we do church around here, for sure. It will confirm some of your key suspicions, an--in my case-- challenge me to make changes I know have to come if we're going to see men in church again. The guy's a good writer, too.

28 of 32 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Three Cheers From the Women, July 6, 2005

By 

Heather Zempel (Washington, DC) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Why Men Hate Going to Church (Paperback)

As a female pastor of discipleship, I am extremely grateful for David Murrow's book. In fact, I loved the book and have encouraged my leaders- both male and female- to read it. Murrow hits on nerves that need to be hit within the church. If we are serious about expanding God's Kingdom, then we need to see men released into action and empowered to be all that God created them to be.

The piece that was most helpful to me was Murrow's discussion of the pictures or metaphors that we use in our churches for describing the Christian life. One metaphor describes Christianity as an intimate relationship with a wonderful man. The other metaphor describes Christianity as a movement to save the world against impossible odds. Both are valid expressions of our faith- a passionate relationship with Jesus Christ and an aggressive expansion of God's Kingdom. Here is the problem: the first metaphor (the relationship stuff) is the one we tend to emphasize in our churches ("Jesus wants to have an intimate, passionate, love relationship with you") and it sounds like the theme of a chick flick. We have replaced "A Might Fortress is Our God" and "Onward Christian Soldiers" with love songs "draw me close to you" and "your love is extravagant." This resonates with women but not men. We need to move a little back towards the idea that Christianity is about a war raging for souls. I want to make sure that the spiritual growth strategies at my church are as magnetic and empowering to men as Jesus himself was.

Reading this book helped me to better understand the lay of the land. It prompted me to proactively listen (a trait many of us women would do well to improve) to men to hear their Godly passions. Now I am better equipped to design spiritual growth experiences that encourage, train, and deploy men. I desperately want to see more men step into leadership. Not because we need body count to fill leadership positions. But because I know that men grow spiritually in leadership positions and men in leadership can change a church, a city, and a generation.

In conclusion, I would like to speak to the women. Are you a single woman who is irritated that the men of your church won't "get it together?" Are you a married woman who is upset that her husband won't go to church? Are you a woman in a position of influence with men? Are you a woman? If your answer to any of these questions is yes, then I strongly encourage you to read this book.