Why Mr. Right Can't Find You: The Surprising Answers that will Change your Life...and His [Paperback]

J. M. Kearns (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: January 22, 2008 | ISBN-10: 0470154594 | ISBN-13: 978-0470154595 | Edition: 1

How many of us never meet the person with whom we could be happy? How many of us limit our romantic choice to the people who happen to wash up on our shore? In Why Mr Right Can’t Find You, J.M. Kearns, Ph. D., shows that finding true love can be a proactive adventure. In chapters like How Men See Women, The Underrated Chance Encounter, and The Truth About Bars, J.M. Kearns lays bare the surprising vulnerabilities of the single male, and the power they confer on women. Men, he explains, are not shallow, not the enemy, and not aliens from Mars. In fact, the good man who is searching for you is your greatest ally, and Kearns shows you exactly how to take advantage of that fact. In the process he overturns the classic dating myths – that destiny chose the "one and only" man for you, that baggage is bad, that all men prefer the same body type – and solves the fascinating riddle of compatibility, with a hilarious and practical guide to the factors that make two people click, illustrated with real-life vignettes straight from the dating trenches. Finally, in a full online dating section, Kearns (who met his partner online) gives clear, simple advice on sites, photo sets, matchmaking, body issues, and that crucial first meeting.

Review

"If you’ve been on the lookout for ages but still haven’t found The One, this is for you...you’ll be in the arms of your true love in no time!"
—OK! Magazine

"A literary MRI of the male brain."
—Georgie Banks, CBC News Viewpoint.

"Kearns insists it’s really not difficult to direct the right man to you, whether it’s online, someone you already know, or a total stranger. So read this, sit back and wait for the offers to pour in... Kearns says we should break the mentality of ‘acceptable’ places and realize ‘any time is a good time to meet Mr. Right.’ And sadly, men can’t read our minds to establish our interest, so direct him to you."
—Cosmopolitan-UK

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Practical, encouraging and giddily optimistic, regular guy Kearns is convinced that "the world is full of lonely winners," but that the hunt for Mr. Right is often unsuccessful because women are taught, consciously and otherwise, not to make themselves available, and thus "don't give themselves enough of a choice." Kearns directs the lovelorn to embrace every opportunity to meet people, no matter how trivial the occasion, and not just when you're "ready for a Vogue cover shot." As women's own barriers to meeting people are the first that must come down, Kearns gently undermines the conventions and insecurities that keep them from actively and effectively seeking a mate, including self-defeating myths ("Serious relationships never begin in bars") and media-inspired body-image issues. Part one takes apart the myriad rituals of courtship, including chapters on "How Women Choose Men" and vice-versa, "The Perfect Place to Meet" and "Going Out Alone." He then tackles the "True and False Signs of Compatibility" across a number of axes (sense of humor, sex, goals), and devotes part three to destigmatizing and demystifying the online dating scene with a detailed step-by-step primer. Personal anecdotes round out this thorough, thoughtful and entirely upbeat dating guide.
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

Review

"If you’ve been on the lookout for ages but still haven’t found The One, this is for you...you’ll be in the arms of your true love in no time!" (OK! Magazine)

"A literary MRI of the male brain." (Georgie Binks, CBC News Viewpoint)

"Kearns insists it’s really not difficult to direct the right man to you, whether it’s online, someone you already know, or a total stranger. So read this, sit back and wait for the offers to pour in... Kearns says we should break the mentality of ‘acceptable’ places and realize ‘any time is a good time to meet Mr. Right.’ And sadly, men can’t read our minds to establish our interest, so direct him to you." (Cosmopolitan-UK)

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Paperback: 280 pages
• Publisher: Wiley; 1 edition (January 22, 2008)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0470154594
• ISBN-13: 978-0470154595
• Product Dimensions: 8 x 6.1 x 0.7 inches
• Shipping Weight: 14.9 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (22 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #216,348 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

J.M. Kearns grew up in Ontario, Canada and now lives in Cape May, New Jersey with his partner Debra.

His three relationship books have brought female readers a perspective that is male, intelligent, funny, and realistic. That fits with his unique background. Former crisis counselor. Philosophy PhD. Novelist. Not to mention many years "as an embedded reporter in the trenches of the male search for love." Hence his ability to see through romantic stereotypes, find real solutions, and bring his points to life with tasty stories.

His best-selling Why Mr. Right Can't Find You has been published in Canada and the U.S., the UK, Australia, China, and France. Embraced by readers and the press, it has been featured on Oprah & Friends and in OK! Magazine, Glamour, Cosmopolitan-UK, Maclean's, The Toronto Star, and many others. It has two acclaimed companions: Better Love Next Time tells how to decode the lessons of love gone wrong and heal your romantic soul; Shopping for Mr. Right expands on the ideas of Why Mr. Right Can't Find You while answering some burning questions about men, online dating, and how to test a new relationship.

For more on J.M. Kearns, please visit www.jmkearns.com.