Why Mr. Right Can't Find You: The Surprising Answers that will Change your Life...and His (Paperback)

by J. M. Kearns (Author)
Key Phrases: matchmaking sites, sexual compatibility, desirable bar, The Perfect Place, Bars Alone, Did Mary (more...)

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly
Practical, encouraging and giddily optimistic, regular guy Kearns is convinced that "the world is full of lonely winners," but that the hunt for Mr. Right is often unsuccessful because women are taught, consciously and otherwise, not to make themselves available, and thus "don't give themselves enough of a choice." Kearns directs the lovelorn to embrace every opportunity to meet people, no matter how trivial the occasion, and not just when you're "ready for a Vogue cover shot." As women's own barriers to meeting people are the first that must come down, Kearns gently undermines the conventions and insecurities that keep them from actively and effectively seeking a mate, including self-defeating myths ("Serious relationships never begin in bars") and media-inspired body-image issues. Part one takes apart the myriad rituals of courtship, including chapters on "How Women Choose Men" and vice-versa, "The Perfect Place to Meet" and "Going Out Alone." He then tackles the "True and False Signs of Compatibility" across a number of axes (sense of humor, sex, goals), and devotes part three to destigmatizing and demystifying the online dating scene with a detailed step-by-step primer. Personal anecdotes round out this thorough, thoughtful and entirely upbeat dating guide.
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

Review
"If you’ve been on the lookout for ages but still haven’t found The One, this is for you...you’ll be in the arms of your true love in no time!" (OK! Magazine)

"A literary MRI of the male brain." (Georgie Binks, CBC News Viewpoint)

"Kearns insists it’s really not difficult to direct the right man to you, whether it’s online, someone you already know, or a total stranger. So read this, sit back and wait for the offers to pour in... Kearns says we should break the mentality of ‘acceptable’ places and realize ‘any time is a good time to meet Mr. Right.’ And sadly, men can’t read our minds to establish our interest, so direct him to you." (Cosmopolitan-UK)

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Product Details

• Paperback: 280 pages
• Publisher: Wiley (January 10, 2008)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0470154594
• ISBN-13: 978-0470154595
• Product Dimensions: 7.9 x 6 x 0.8 inches
• Shipping Weight: 14.9 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.2 out of 5 stars See all reviews (8 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #18,818 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

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  #25 in	Books > Health, Mind & Body > Relationships > Mate Seeking

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

23 of 24 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Smarter than the average relationship book..., February 8, 2008

By	wikisam (south jersey) - See all my reviews

This book doesn't even deserve to be lumped in with all the other "Self Help" stuff: it's better than that. I was shocked to find an intelligent discussion of something people almost never speak intelligently about - preferring instead to believe in some pie-in-the-sky fantasy at the exact moment they're planning a life! I brought this book to my boyfriend when we'd only been going out a few weeks: we read it together, talked about it, went on a road trip to test it out, and basically used it as a roadmap to find true compatibility...at the same time we were falling in love. I highly recommend it for couples, not just singles, because it jump-starts those conversations and questions you need to figure out before you get all emotional and sappy. We now know things about each other we'd never thought to ask ourselves. Oddly enough, after you figure out you really can be best friends and great partners, all that dreamy love stuff is much deeper and more rewarding.
Great book - and the little vignettes make it hilarious, too.

19 of 20 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A Positive Book with the Surprising Answers to Why Mr. Right Can't Find You, February 2, 2008

By	Ali Welch - The Boomer Babe - See all my reviews

As a dating coach and former owner of a singles activities group, I've heard the stories of hundreds of single women discouraged because their Mr. Right seemed to be nowhere in sight. The self-help lit made them think men were aliens and all wanted the same thing - namely, a woman who was nothing like them.

Being a single woman, I could identify with that struggle. J.M. Kearns made me ask some good questions of myself. Why was I worrying about what "all men" want? And why was I choosing only from the men I happened to meet by accident? I started to focus on the guy out there who was looking for me, and how I could take steps to find him.

This shift in thinking takes the desperation out of dating and puts the fun back in. I've shared this with all my single girlfriends and it will definitely be required reading for my clients. After applying his advice, I'm seeing a man who is definitely Mr. Right material.

Read this book -- your pessimism will never be the same!

8 of 10 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars So THAT'S where all the good guys are..., April 4, 2008

By	Boston Reader (Belmont, MA United States) - See all my reviews

...At the bar! I've had a great and hilarious time reading this book---which I almost didn't buy because, well, look at the title. But, for a confident and smart woman who has dated the wrong guys for what feels like years and years never once did I consider the idea that everywhere I went was an opportunity to meet a nice guy who I might actually like if I would only look up and smile once in a while!

J.M Kearns finally openes the door to the mind of men and pointes out, at last, that a group of women (or a group of anyone) is impossible to approach, compatibility is the most important element to consider when sizing up a suitor and that it's the annoying guy's friend who looks like he is having a heart attack behind him that is actually digging us!

I had no idea...

Enjoy!