Why Smart Men Marry Smart Women [Hardcover]

Dr. Christine B. Whelan (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: October 17, 2006

For years, it's been "common knowledge" that once a woman hits thirty, her chances of finding a husband diminish to the point of despair. That men are intimidated by a woman's career success, preferring docile helpmates to ambitious achievers. That women are biologically driven to seek a strong provider. That the higher a woman's IQ, the less likely she is to marry, let alone have babies...leaving single, successful women to ask themselves: Are men intimidated by smart women?

In Why Smart Men Marry Smart Women, Christine B. Whelan shatters the myth that high-achieving women are at a disadvantage in the marriage market. There's good news for the millions of American SWANS (Strong Women Achievers, No Spouse): that today's smart, successful women marry at the same rates as all other women -- and that more income and education may in fact increase a woman's chances of marriage.

What's more, as Dr. Whelan shows through newly released U.S. Census data, a large-scale Harris Interactive survey commissioned especially for this book, plus extended interviews conducted in cities nationwide, this profound demographic shift shows every sign of progressing. That means that the "success penalty" that has endured for generations is, as soon as 2010, destined for the history books.

Accomplished daughters, sisters, and friends (not to mention their mothers) can finally stop worrying that the twin pinnacles of personal and professional happiness are inherently unattainable. In fact, smart men do marry SWANS. Ninety percent of high-achieving men surveyed want a woman who is as intelligent or more intelligent than they are. And two-thirds of men said they believed smart women make better mothers. Pairing cutting-edge research with sound advice, Dr. Whelan brings to mind what smart women everywhere have long known in their hearts: that the goal is not just to get married, but to have a good marriage, and to lead a fulfilled life.

Editorial Reviews

Review

"For as long as I can remember, single, professional women have been told that their chances of getting married were smaller than their chances of being hit by a bus. Christine Whelan has now shattered that myth once and for all."

-- Heather Boushey, PhD, economist, Center for Economic and Policy Research

"A compelling case against the widespread belief that educated women risk lonely, impoverished lives."

-- Viviana A. Zelizer, Princeton University, author of The Purchase of Intimacy

"A new way for women to blend their accomplishments in the work world with romance, marriage, and motherhood."

-- Susan Shapiro Barash, author of Tripping the Prom Queen: The Truth About Women and Rivalry

About the Author

Christine B. Whelan is a New York-based author, journalist, and commentator. She holds both a master's and a doctorate from Oxford University, England. Dr.Whelan has been published in The Wall Street Journal, The Washington Post, the New York Post, and The New York Times and has taught in the sociology and politics departments at Princeton University. She writes a biweekly relationship advice column for BustedHalo, an online young-adult magazine. Visit her on the Web at www.whysmartmenmarrysmartwomen.com.

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Hardcover: 256 pages
• Publisher: Simon & Schuster; 1 edition (October 17, 2006)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0743290399
• ISBN-13: 978-0743290395
• Product Dimensions: 9.5 x 6.4 x 1 inches
• Shipping Weight: 14.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 3.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (14 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #771,640 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Dr. Christine B. Whelan is an author, professor and journalist. She is the author of Generation WTF: From "What the #%$&" to a Wise, Tenacious, and Fearless You (2011), Marry Smart: The Intelligent Woman's Guide to True Love (2009) and Why Smart Men Marry Smart Women (2006).

Dr. Whelan is a visiting assistant professor in the Sociology Department at the University of Pittsburgh. She earned a masters and doctorate from the University of Oxford and has held teaching positions at the University of Iowa and Princeton University in the Sociology and Politics departments.

She has been published in The Wall Street Journal, The Washington Post and The New York Post. She writes a bi-weekly relationship advice column for BustedHalo®, a young-adult website. She has appeared live on television programs and radio programs across the nation. For more on Dr. Whelan, visit her website at http://www.christinewhelan.com

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

50 of 58 people found the following review helpful:

1.0 out of 5 stars Quesionable Research, February 4, 2007

By 

Dubliners099 "full-time instructor at a unive... (Peoria, IL) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Why Smart Men Marry Smart Women (Hardcover)

In addition to short narratives (which prove nothing), the surveys have built-in response bias -- which skews the results. Read through the questions and ask yourself "Of the thousands of people surveyed, which man is going to admit that he prefers a less-threatening woman of lower intelligence?" In a survey, who wouldn't claim that they would like to date a smart person? This book would have been much more credible if the author had used quanifiable sources of information, including IQ tests, SAT scores, etc. not only for the person that they were surveying, but to document who they were married to. And the "wishful thinking" questions don't provide any real information. After all, who isn't "open" to marrying up? I'm not basing my life strategies on some pie-in-the-sky thinking that those surveyed told a researcher. Better to look at who they HAVE dated instead. Research that asked "How would you rate the last person you had a significant relationship (one year or longer)? Answer: below average intelligence (below 100 IQ), average intelligence (100 IQ), above average (up to 130), genius (130 - 150), or super genius (150 and up). And asking someone if they think they are "high achieving" could mean anything! In the county where I live right now, not being in jail is considered super-achieving!! Did they ask about property, investment, or earnings? Did they rate professions on a scale to achieve this survey answer? Not that I could find. Every good researcher knows that past experience is the BEST indicator of performance.

I'm a college professor. Any paper we publish or give at a conference has to have quantifiable research or we're laughed out of the discipline. We have to reveal more about our research and when others find that our questions encourage biased answers, our research is refused publication, our reputations are tarnished, and we are often drummed out of education. I wish this held true for "pop" writers. With their ability to reach millions of readers, they should be EVEN MORE responsible with research. Very disappointing!

20 of 24 people found the following review helpful:

2.0 out of 5 stars Irrelevant for me, maybe not for others, March 27, 2007

By 

Kathleen B. OLeary "KBO" (New York, NY) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Why Smart Men Marry Smart Women (Hardcover)

To be fair, I am not the target audience for this book. I'm in my early twenties and have at no point in my life believed that my intelligence would be a barrier to finding a lasting relationship. While I agree that smart men marry smart women, I felt that the methods Whelan used to arrive at this conclusion were flawed. I agree with the reviewer below who suggested that there was an inherent bias in the research. Additionally, I felt as though the same points were being repeated over and over throughout the book without sufficient evidence to back them up. I kept thinking I had already read a particular section but soon realized the book was perpetually rehashing the same ideas.

A recurring thought I had while reading the book was that smart women (whether you're measuring by IQ, academic achievement, or professional success) may be accepting the myth that men are intimidated by their intelligence in order to shift the blame for failed relationships onto another person. The smart women I know who have trouble finding partners (and there are not many of them) are in this position not because men can't handle being with an equal, but because they base their interactions with men on pop psychology and he advice in self-help books. If one good thing comes out of this book, maybe women will realize that if it's not their intelligence that's the problem, it must be something else.

Additionally, the book seems at times almost disdainful of women who've chosen an alternative path--by which I mean staying home to raise a family. My understanding was that feminism had moved past that point. It is just as valid for a man to choose a spouse based on qualities such as kindness, dependability, and morality as to marry someone who is intelligent, educated, or knowledgeable about politics. In fact, I believe that a truly smart woman is one who is a package deal--who balances her drive and ambition with concern for others and the ability and desire to nurture loved ones. I would look for the same in a man.

6 of 8 people found the following review helpful:

2.0 out of 5 stars Confusing and Contradictory, September 14, 2008

By 

TDPM (USA) - See all my reviews

Amazon Verified Purchase

This review is from: Why Smart Men Marry Smart Women (Hardcover)

The overall message seemed confusing and contradictory.

At the beginning of the book, the author seems to define "smart" as someone that makes a lot of money and has a lot of power. (Occasional nods to those that work for charity.) She goes onto explain that "smart" men like "smart" women according to her surveys, so smart women needn't worry. She explains that "smart" men rate qualities associated with "smart" women as important in a spouse, and validates this as understandable because it shows men want intellectual/career equals.

However, then she goes on to say that women should not rule out men that do not fit her definition of "smart" (not high power, not rich.) It seems like she's saying, don't use the standard I've used to define women as smart/worthwhile to define whether a man is smart/worthwhile. While it's understandable that MEN want a smart women because it means they will be more intellectally compatiable, challenge each other, etc., don't use that same rationale when choosing a husband. She justifies marrying "smart" when talking about the men's spouses, but then says it's a bad standard when talking about women's spouses.

I spent a lot of the book wondering if I even fit into the author's target market of "smart women," as I am not a CEO or have a six-figure salary.

Also, she fails to mention the medical complications of women that choose to have children later in life. This is a serious and real challenge of women that decide to marry later in life.

She also took a jab a feminists that I thought was completely misguided and unnecessary.

Overall I did not think this book was very useful...