From Chapter 1 - The Miracle of Teletherapy Do You Need Teletherapy?
Are you in doubt that our society, and every individual in it, is in dire need of inner healing? Do you question the notion that stress is eroding the shoreline between civilization and the ocean of madness? Can you deny that you, your family, and the entire community we call America are both personally and collectively dysfunctional? Will you look yourself in the eye and contend that your inner child is in no need of nurturing and most of your key dreams have not been shattered?
Take This Quiz
1. Have you ever fantasized that you were a character on a television show?
2. When in a life-threatening situation, have you ever wondered what MacGyver would do?
3. Have you ever publicly denied watching Sally Jessy Raphael or Jenny Jones?
4. If held at gunpoint, could you name at least two members of the Jetson family?
5. Could you enjoy Baywatch even if the sound on your television was broken?
If you answered any of these questions yes, even if you subtly leaned toward a positive response, it is obvious that you have been deeply affected, and probably wounded, by the television you watched. As such, I can state unequivocally that you are in need of Teletherapy! To reject this means that you are in the iron grip of denial. You are shut off from reality if you are not in total agreement with this undeniable premise. It is possible that you are psychotic.
Did you grow up watching a lot of television? Do you currently find any enjoyment in watching television? If the answer is yes, then be of good cheer. You have come to the right place for help. This book will completely heal you. By reading this book and participating in the television-based activities it prescribes, you will smash through your denial and completely change your life. Further, I can personally guarantee that, if you will meticulously apply the principles of Teletherapy, you will become financially successful beyond your wildest dreams within thirty six months!
If you brush these claims off as being exaggerated nonsense, you're right. Nothing in life is easy. Let me assure you that engaging in the Teletherapeutic process is indeed quite demanding. You will have to think deeper thoughts than you ever imagined. You will have to feel your emotions at full throttle. You will stretch; you will grow; you will perspire profusely. Along the way you will overcome habits and instincts that have been part of your identity since you were a small child. You will have to confront your assumptions about many things?in particular, your ideas and opinions about your most beloved television heroes. What I will propose to you in this book about the television shows and characters you have always loved will be emotionally wrenching. Be prepared! You will undoubtedly experience emotional pain, a sinking feeling of uncertainty, even chronic headaches. But it will all be worthwhile. Stick with it and you will not believe the results.
So what are you waiting for? Let's get busy! Let's get healed!
What Is Teletherapy?
Teletherapy is a new method of psychological healing based on the careful analysis of prescribed television viewing. It is a fusion of the words television and therapy, and so exactly describes what it does. The name television come s from the Greek tele, which means distant or far off, and the Latin word visio meaning to see. Television means seeing something from a far distance. Thus the term "Teletherapy" means to be healed from far away Note that since "Teletherapy" is a combination of Latin and Greek, it is a metaphor for itself! Just as the word fuses the Roman with the Greek, the classic culture with the contaminated culture, so too Teletherapy merges the high art of psychoanalytic psychotherapy with the murky bottom of America's popular trash culture.
So even though I am physically in my office at the Nick at Nite Think Tank and Research Laboratories in Lafayette, Indiana, I am actually in the process of healing you from far away through the indirect medium of television. Is it any wonder that I often refer to this process as the "miracle of Teletherapy?" This, my friends, is exactly what it is -- a miracle!
Copyright © 1997 by Dr. Will Miller.
