Customer Reviews

Why Women Have Sex: Understanding Sexual Motivations from Adventure to Revenge (and Everything in Between)

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This "never-before-reported study of why women have sex was conducted online between June 2006 and April 2009.....The survey began by asking the women if they had ever had sex for one of the 237 reasons we identified in our original study." The study involved 1,006 women from a variety of backgrounds.
"The basic biochemistry of attraction is the number one reason women give for why they have sex." Women unconsciously utilize two types of evolutionary instincts to seek out and find their mates--they are "Genetic benefits" that "are the high-quality genes that can endow a woman's children with a better ability to survive and reproduce." "'Resource benefits,' are the second type that include food, shelter from the hostile forces of nature, and physical protection from aggressive men, help a woman and her children survive and thrive."
This is a fascinating non-fiction book. It's full of information that most readers will never have even imagined. One of the book's first examples of this is "the scent of sexiness." Women's sense of smell enables them to help select their best possible mates by the odor of the males "pheromones." A male's scent enables women to identify good hygiene and clues to the male's immune system and body symmetry and whether mating with them will produce superior offspring.
That's only a tiny sample of the fascinating information supplied by this book. What will surprise many readers is many of the secondary 236 reason's women have sex. This book also seems to prove that sex can greatly relieve stress and also cure many of women's headaches. Surprise, surprise-the fact seems exactly opposite of the public's beliefs.
Women also have sex to gain or regain self-respect, to gain status, to be popular, to attract a mate and sometimes just because she wants to find out "what all the fuss is about." Loneliness, revenge, charity, to protect their partner from other predatory women, and simple boredom are also important reasons. This book should be required reading for women because of the insights it provides them into human sexuality and motivation, but it's also fascinating information for males. Once a man understands the information in this book he will become a much more successful sexual partner with much happier partner(s).
The book includes excellent notes, sources and a good index. Somewhat surprising to this reviewer, the book is definitely a page-turner. It's excellent.
This book will also help readers of another recently published book by Eve Kingsley that I can't name unless I don't want this review published. It is listed on the Amazon listing for this book as a possible combination purchase as well as separately. The Kingsley book is also fascinating, but this book helps explains the thought processes behind its subject matter. I'd suggest the reader refer to my review of the Kingsley tome, but Amazon, or it's computer programs(?) doesn't seem to allow any reader reviews of it to be published?

I love David Buss, who I consider one of the fathers of evolutionary psychology (EP). This, though, is not one of his best. Basically, he gives an EP gloss to what seems to be a Shere-Hite-like survey of sexual behavior.

There was very little that was new here. If you've never been exposed to EP before, you'll love it. If you have, though ... That said, it is a good compilation of all the research on a particular topic. There are some good monographs like this one out there these days - Spent: Sex, Evolution, and Consumer Behavior, The Murderer Next Door: Why the Mind Is Designed to Kill, etc.

One thing that I did not like at all about this book was the emphasis on research subjects who are college students. Every little blurb seemed to be from a female age 19, 23, 21, 25, 20, etc. Very typical of academic research. It just doesn't fit the subject matter for this one though. There's a lot to learn about sex after college. ;^)

This book is a virtual roadmap to enhanced intimacy. Finally, a book with all the things my mother should have told me (or told me incorrectly!) with the science behind it. I found it to be fascinatingly informative and at the same time, an enjoyable read owing to the authors' somewhat humorous and unorthodox approach to the topic. It's a book my husband would never buy for himself since he thinks he already knows everything on the subject, and yet, every time I put it down, I later found him "just thumbing through it" so hint: buy two copies if you want one just for yourself. Even though we haven't discussed the book, the subtle, but important changes in our overall relationship have been gratifying to both of us. I would highly recommend this book to every couple, both married and unmarried, and everyone otherwise needing to have an appreciation of feminine sexuality.

Every now and again a book crosses my desk for review that goes well beyond my likes or dislikes. `Why Women Have Sex' is such a book. You'll like it. Or, at least, I can't imagine the `you' who wouldn't. But better even that that, this is a book you *should* read, and that includes you - the woman, the man, the married, the single... in short anyone who has a curiosity or vested interest in women's sexuality.

On a topic that can easily be taboo or overly clinical, Drs. Meston and Buss, labored over a years-long study into why women have sex. The 237 reasons they found sparked a research paper that's been laid out brilliantly for regular people. It's fascinating and funny; revealing and confirming. And it's likely not what you think.

Get the book, by all means, and if you'd like to know a bit more, the good doctors took the time to speak with me for PsychJourney dot com in a wonderful interview on a few issues related to, `Why Women Have Sex.' Look us up!

This book makes two important contributions. First, is the title. Dr Meston does not confuse love and sex, although emotional reasons (love and commitment) ranked high in the original study. Second, a man can identify with many of the same reasons!

With the evolutionary psychology input, the book stays within the procreation/pleasure paradigm, yet includes reasons like, "wanting to get close to God": a small percentage.The Sacred Female

Had this book been written by Dr. Buss alone, I would have given it the same credence I gave Gray's "Men are from Mars": zero. Dr. Meston, perhaps subconsciously, brings a feminine balance and authority beyond the numbers.

It is important to note two things while reading: 1. The original study was conducted using college age students as a base line and 2. The study was expanded to the general public with small response, yet expanding the age range. The book is only as definitive as the population studied and there are many cultural variations in reasoning.

I would strongly recommend this book for women who ask, "Am I the only one who feels this way?" And for men who ask, "What the hell is going on with her?" Whatever your motivation for purchasing this title, you will find the book smooth to read and fascinating!

I have little to add to the positive reviews already posted. I do feel that this book is going to be Exhibit A in the oncoming War of the Female Libido. What is healthy*, what do we want to teach our daughters, what preemptive action we as a society may want to take to shape our daughters psychology such as the successful Take your Daughter to Work Day program in the 1990s that helped curb the poor self esteem problem. Men could use this book for positive goals, such as understanding what is motivating your own mate, and if their are problems in the relationship, are they fixable? Or even, do you want to fix it with this person you thought you knew? Players and pick up artists certainly have a WMD in their arsenal with this book. Women could use this book for self reflecting and shaping the future person they might want to be.

*Already the feminist elements of society are pushing back at even acknowledging the existence of Female Sexual Dysfunction and the need to treat it.

Honestly, I'm only half way through the book, but so far it's been great. It took about 10 days to finally get to me (booo) but once I got it I couldn't wait to crack it open. I'm reading the book just out of curiosity and personal interest I guess, but since I'm a psychology major in college this book will probably be used as a reference in a future research assignment. It's not full of huge words I can't pronounce nor understand, but it is extremely educational. Interesting nonetheless! BUY IT!

I loved this book because it is full of scientific theory, research correlations, and for the most part no opinion. It is not something that holds your hand and tries to get you to look at things from the point of the view of the author. You are free to make your own opinions from the data. It also can be used to answer more questions if you know how to learn from this book. It is written more for people interested in the subject on more than a superficial level. If you are looking for a crappy pick-up book from one person's perspective, this is not the book for you.

I loved this well-written look regarding women's decisions whether to hop on our sexual motorcycles and do the deed. This is EXTREMELY IMPORTANT INFORMATION for heterosexual men to know since we are charged with the vitally important task of initiating the procreation of our species. Lesbians will find it informative, and women too.

Surprisingly the book is based on a somewhat flawed research design but the book adroitly shifts focus, and uses the initial research as an entree into an entertaining discussion of sex research, mostly from the past fifty years. So the book is perhaps better seen as an overview of new developments regarding the field of sex research, with findings from related fields such as evolutionary biology and psychology, but with a focus on women's reasons for having sex. The result is INTERESTING and difficult to read without being in some state of arousal.

The study itself, however, was lackluster. Funds are tight; so the authors did an online study by placing advertisements asking women to participate in their confidential assessment. What I couldn't fathom, based on the authors' description of the survey design, was how the authors were sure that survey respondents were indeed women. How did they confirm this? If anybody could participate and say they were a "woman", what check was done to ensure that this was, indeed, the case? There was mention that this research was done in addition to an earlier quantitative study, but there was little mention of how this earlier study was done. An ideal research design would have been to select respondents randomly based on a national sample (chosen to reflect the universe of adult American women), but surveys of this nature can be expensive; in this case, respondents self-selected themselves. This can distort the results, since persons choosing to talk about their innermost motivations are likely to be highly different from people in general. Many of the responses were by youngish women (under 25) and seemed to over-sample college-age women who, arguably, don't have as much experience as others.

But the survey was oriented not on the women themselves, but on a list of 237 motivations or reasons for possibly having sex. So the survey focused not on people but on motivations. Had they ever had sex for one of these 237 reasons? And if they did, respondents were asked to elaborate about the circumstances. So this choice side-stepped the whole issue of trying to quantify which motivations were more important and instead fleshed out women's motivations for having sex. There was a risk that the authors would give each motivation equal weight. Still, this focus worked well to uncover, so to speak, how women analyze their motivations. What reasons do they give for doing the deed? What rationales cross their minds afterwards?

There was an insight in an excellent book called "How to Succeed with Women, Revised and Updated" to the effect that most women don't really know (on some deep level) why they decide to have sex, and I think there is some truth to this. They get an urge, act upon it, and offer different reasons afterwards; clearly, this is how men probably think about it. But this question about self-assessment of motivation applies not just to women but to people in general -- do we really know WHY we do what we do? We're conscious of our hungers and appetites, but it's hard to pinpoint why we do things precisely.

Still, this book is an interesting foray into these rationales buttressed by the latest findings from related disciplines, with intelligent and fetching commentary from pop culture at times. Having two authors -- one of each sex -- was a definite plus. The result is enlightening. The book offers a smorgasbord of reasons why now is whoopie time: (1) it will help you, my dear, see God (2) it will CURE your headache (3) it will STRENGTHEN our connection (4) it will cause your girlfriends to respect you MORE (5) you'll experience what the fuss is about and (6) you'll enjoy beneficial physical effects (a workout for abdominal muscles) and on and on. There are 237 reasons. Men: learn every reason; so, armed with this knowledge, on that key second date, you can whip out an assortment of reasons to tease an on-the-fence look in her eye. Who knows? Perhaps reason #47 will magically unlock the entrance to the cave of sweetness, and enable you, too, to SEE GOD.

-- Thomas W. Sulcer
Author of "The Second Constitution of the United States"
(free on web; google title + Sulcer)

Finally a readable book about sex written by two obviously intelligent and accomplished scholars/researchers! The quality of thought and science to back it up in this book are a refreshing change from so many poorly written books about sex that hit the shelves. This book is fascinating, well written and appropriately humorous. For me (a man) it is a real eye-opener. The writers deliver on the question raised by the title of the book, augmenting and explaining the answers provided by real women. I know it is trite to say, but I really couldn't put it down.