Customer Reviews

Why You Act the Way You Do

5 star:		(11)
4 star:		(4)
3 star:		(1)
2 star:		(4)
1 star:		(3)

 

 

Mr. Lahaye does a good job of introducing us to the four basic temperaments that we are born with, derived from Ancient Greece. This book explores the various attitudes and personalities of each temperament and how our worldly selves deal with them. Basically, if you have a close relationship with Jesus, then the weaknesses of each temp. is not that hard to overcome. Lahaye tells us is that we have a predominant temp. with one or two secondaries and it is interesting to see where you fit in, and how certain aspects of your life affect how you react to certain situations. This is similar to the Myers-Brigg Indicator, but you do not answer a lot of questions. One thing, I did like, was Lahaye's mention of the spiritual fruits and what each temp. is normally good at. If you are interested in seeing which temperament you are, and what your strengths/weaknesses may be, this is the book for you.

I have read this book and this critic loves it! For years I have wondered as to why people in the same environment, setting, city, and even family can come out so amazingly different. This book teaches its reader how to classify and analyze people so that you can find out their point of reference on life and understand what they value and treasure in life. If you know a person's needs you can more easily meet their needs and help them. This book gives solid, practical advise on how to recognize and appreciate a person's psychological/emotional/volitional makeup as well as how to cope with and appreciate the differences in us all. Do you want to know why your super-energetic life-of-the-party friend retains his outlook on life no matter what? Do you want to know why Mr.Domineering feels that he MUST be in charge in spite of all adversity? Do you want to know why some people seem to be so gifted and deep even in the most shallow pools of life? Do you want to know why some people are content to stay introverts all of their life and are happy that way? Well, you'll just have to get the book and enjoy finding out!

So many personality conflicts could be avoided if everyone knew the basic principles of this book. For instance, we've all come across a person at some point in our lives that really rubbed us the wrong way. Well, with the help of this book, I've been able to take a deeper look into who that person really is and in almost every case, the person's temperament is why he or she is acting that way, not because he or she is necessarily mean or nasty. The same goes for a person like me, who is extremely introverted. My spouse wondered for years why I enjoyed just staying home so much rather than getting out and socializing. Again, with the help of this book he was able to see that it was my temperament, and not that I was being rude or just shy. Get a copy of the book and read it - it could change your life!

I was on my way traveling somewhere and picked this book up off of the book rack in the local Post Exchange (PX). I began to read it and began to laugh because so much of how i am jumped off of the pages. It was fun to find my husband and see why we act the way that we do. I knew that it was a Christian book and I am a Christian so it fell in line with my beliefs. I love it and decided to send away for the test. The book i had gave a coupon for a discount or something like that. They sent the test and i gave my answers - basically saying whether or not i was outgoing, or analytical, procrastinator, organized and the list goes on and on. I sent it back and received a detailed Temperament Analysis for me. It was pretty neat. I am a Sanguine/Melancholy. It said i loved sports which is not true. A lot of it was true though. What i liked the most about it is that it provides a base from the fruits of the spirit and provided those fruits that fall natually within my temperament, and those that needed work. I studied the analysis and really learned a lot from it. It allowed me to understand my husband A LOT!!
I would recommend this book for the Christian who is at a point in their life where they cant seem to know who they are or where they are going. Although the Holy Bible is really the book for that - this can allow for you to see a description of yourself and offer direction in understanding it.
my 2 cents.

This book will help you in dealing with others as well as knowing yourself better. I have already purchased a dozen books and given them to my friends and family. It has saved marraiges and friendships. Mr. LaHaye covers four personality types and how each cross over. There is the Sanquine (Expressive), Choloric (Driver), Phlegmatic (Easy going) & the Meloncholy (Anaylitical). One can just imagine the diffuculties in a marraige where one spouse is very drven (choloric) and the other is easy going (phlegmatic). This is perfect for the person in the 20's and 30's. It gives a great understanding of what makes people tick, and it allows a 20-30 year old to achieve wisdom or insight to equal the wisdom of a 60 or 70 year old.

This book is a walk through of what Tim LaHaye and other's have categorized as the Four Greek Temperaments: Phlegmatic, Sanguine, Melancholy and Choleric. He spends the first part of the book characterizing these while providing some spiritual guidance on different issues related to being a healthy "type". The book ends with some more characterizations: vocation, spiritual gifts, marriage and others.

There are two main reasons that I think this book is limited: First, the 4 temperament theory is not well developed and thus is riddled with inconsistency. For example, if a person can have mixed temperament and it is possible to be a mix of three of the four then classification is a bit meaningless. The actual theory itself may more developed but Mr. LaHaye presents a bubblegum seminar approach that avoids detail.

Secondly, I am from a Christian background and I do appreciate the angle that the author brought to the discussion but I believe it was overemphasized. I strongly believe that temperament affects our spiritual life but it is precisely this that flowers the different approaches we have towards working our relationships with God. The discussion of spirituality retarded the basic point of the book because it presented the same approaches to problem solving for each type (and the basic point is that we are all different).

My ultimate advice is that depending on your "temperament" you may or may not enjoy this book. I would categorize this book as a self-help book with gems in between the lines here and there.

If you really want to know a more developed theory on personality then instead of purchasing this book get "Please Understand Me" by Kiersey. There is a newer book "Please Understand Me II: Temperament, Character and Intelligence" but this is a bit more technical than the first and might overwhelm the new reader.

This is a Christian book. It is written by a well-known Christian author and the table of contents clearly indicates Christian content. And it is also not meant to be a psychology/scholarly book - It is an "easy reading" book for your everyday person to read, and apply to their life. With those expectations, read this book...

The author presents the 4 basic temperament types that were first identified by the ancient Greeks. Others have written about these temperament types as well. But as a Christian, I appreciate the Christian perspective this book gives...Each temperament has its strengths and weaknesses. The author gives practical advice on how we, as Christians, can overcome our weaknesses through the power of the Holy Spirit.

I like the "practicalness" of the book about how our temperament can affect our relationships, employment, marriage, sex life, etc. This book helped me understand myself - I have a very melancholy temperament type. I was laughing at times because the descriptions in the book sounded so much like me it was uncanny. Sometimes people with these traits feel ostracized from society in different ways. It was encouraging for me to learn that I am not alone...

Approach this book with the right expectations, and I really think you will enjoy it.

For many years I questioned why I exhibited certain behavior that were unpleasant.
A friend of mine who is a christian doctor recommended this book to me.
Upon reading the first chapter I recognized I had found a book that had some answers.
After a good evaluation by my fiance, family and myself it was easy to see that the book is spot on.
I have been able to more critical analyze myself and make adjustments.
It is valid tool for self discovery and improvement and I have since given it as gifts to a number of people including my parents who have been married for YEARS.

I have to admit I was a little skeptical about the subject matter of this book. I was never one to believe that people could be easily labeled ... until I read Why You Act the Way You Do. As much as I hated to admit that the weakness listed under my temperament combination were accurate, they fit me like a glove. I learned so much about myself, my children, friends and family. The biggest benefit was letting my parents off the hook for my shortcomings. Children have a funny way of blaming their parents for things like being over sensitive, etc. but I learned that I pretty much left the womb that way. Sorry Mom!

This book also puts marriage in perspective. We might think it would be nice to have a more fun loving spouse, or a more sensitive one, but here we learn that there are definite drawbacks and pluses to each temperament. This book will above all, help you give yourself and others a break for being the way God created you to be.

Also, a great tool for writers!

I heard about this book from a friend. If you want to understand why your kids act the way they do, as well, this is AWESOME. Because of this book, I have come to EMBRACE many traits of my 12-year-old rebellious daughter. Who knew?! I thought a troubled childhood had caused much of how she is, but learning that she was born that way--that God made her that way--was EXACTLY what I needed to better my relationship with her. It has also done WONDERS to help HER understand how and who she is and why. She's not so different afterall--just different from her mother!...and that's OKAY. We both have had a lot of fun observing people we know and how best to communicate with them based on their temperments. I HIGHLY recommend this book!