Why You Behave in Ways You Hate: And What You Can Do About It [Hardcover]

M.D. Irwin Gootnick (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: October 1, 1997

Have you ever met anyone who didn't have some behavior he or she couldn't stand? Why do we so often continue to behave in ways that make us unhappy? Why don't we learn from our mistakes? Why does willpower fail? Have you adopted the qualities that you hated in your parents? Do you wonder why? Many of the available self-help books give advice and present general ideas about the cause of our problems but do not provide in-depth insight into the reasons behind our behavior. They don't tell us why it is so difficult to follow their advice or our own desires and to overcome our problems. Why You Behave in Ways You Hate does. Dr. Gootnick explains why children blame themselves for their parents' faults and how this creates hidden, destructive mind-sets that cause the behaviors that plague us. In a clear, straightforward way, he shows you how to see past the psychological blinders that make it difficult for you to see how these mind-sets operate and then to take effective action. Seven charts identify specific behaviors and allow you to look up your personal problem and understand at a glance how it originated or how you may have responded to it. Using individual personality profiles of you and your family members, you will be able to analyze what happened in the past and to institute changes in your thinking and behavior. In addition, because Why You Behave in Ways You Hate is based on family dynamics, it is an invaluable asset for parents working on problems they may have with their children. It will help break the generational cycle of doing to your children what was done to you. Who is this book for? Its for anyone who has difficulty in achieving success in school or a career, who repeatedly get involved in bad relationships, or who have trouble extricating themselves from abusive relationships. It also appeals to parents who have problems with their children, to those who feel insecure, inadequate, or depressed without cause, and to individuals who have problems with addictions or weight control, or who sacrifice their own interests for others.

Editorial Reviews

Review

Dr. Gootnick has written a highly original book which describes how a person becomes unhappy and how he overcomes it. --Paul Camer ([e-mail])

Dr. Gootnick provides us with new, unique insights concerning our unwanted behaviors. They are invaluable. --Leonard Shlain, M.D., author of Art and Physics

Irwin Gootnick's easy-to-understand opus, which demystifies psychotherapy for us non-psychiatrists, MD's and laypeople. --Centennial Bulletin, Marin Medical Society, Spring 1998

About the Author

Dr. Irwin Gootnick is an Associate Clinical Professor of Psychiatry at UC San Francisco Medical Center, has had a private practice in San Francisco since 1967. In addition to his extensive clinical experience, Dr. Gootnick is past director of the Psychiatric Day Center and a noted teacher, author, and lecturer. He received Teacher of the Year awards in 1980 and 1983 at the University of California Medical Center of San Francisco and at Pacific Medical Center Department of Psychiatry in 1993. For twenty years he has been a contributing member and leader of the San Francisco Psychotherapy Research Group.

Product Details

• Hardcover: 224 pages
• Publisher: Penmarin Books Inc (October 1, 1997)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1883955084
• ISBN-13: 978-1883955083
• Product Dimensions: 8.6 x 5.6 x 0.9 inches
• Shipping Weight: 14.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 3.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (9 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,855,678 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

6 of 6 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars this is the best self help book i've ever read., October 14, 1999

By 

alice mandell ([e-mail]) (san francisco , california) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Why You Behave in Ways You Hate: And What You Can Do About It (Hardcover)

it lets you see exactly what happened to you in your family and how that's impacted your life. the charts were particularly helpful.

4 of 4 people found the following review helpful:

3.0 out of 5 stars Half way through, June 8, 2003

By A Customer

Amazon Verified Purchase

This review is from: Why You Behave in Ways You Hate: And What You Can Do About It (Paperback)

This book is excellent in that it shows you how your childhood can lock you in self-defeating behaviors. The charts are repetitive and the book is not well-organized. But the book is not at all dry as some reviewers here mentioned.

The major flaw in this book is actually in the second part of its title "and what you can do about it". The author offers no other actual solution than therapy. So the title is misleading and the book misses the major reason for it: the solution.
Yes, there are ways to solve these issues on your own and it can be explained in a book.
Harder cases can dealt with in a therapy, but most people could have got a major help from this book otherwise!

6 of 7 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars This book helped me see the root of my problems, October 15, 1999

By A Customer

This review is from: Why You Behave in Ways You Hate: And What You Can Do About It (Hardcover)

I was able to take action to promote my best interest after reading this book. I bought five and gave them to my friends.