Wicked French [Paperback]

Howard Tomb (Author)

Book Description

Series: Wicked | Publication Date: January 9, 1989

Any French language guide can teach you a simple phrase like J'ai faim! ("I'm starving!") But only Wicked French will give you the edge on a snooty Parisian waiter: Garcon! N'avez-vous pas de glacons pour le vin? ("Boy! Don't you have any ice cubes for the wine?"

While humiliated tourists mispronounce "This wine is good" (Ce vin est bon), you'll handle the French impressively with expressions like "The Haut-Medoc tries to tickle but pinches instead." (Ce Haut-MSdoc essaye de chatouiller mais il pince.) Make new friends by knowing the only compliment a Frenchman wants to hear: Vous etes les gens les plus intelligents du monde. (You are the most intelligent people on earth.") With quick-to-find practical tips throughout, Wicked French gives even the first-time visitor the confidence to keep his nose held high. Over 312,000 copies in print.

Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review

Caveat emptor: Any traveler to France who actually says to the customs agent Bien sur, soyez le bienvenu pour reduire ma valise en miettes. Heureusement ce ne sont que des valises moches de Louis Vuitton! (Of course you're welcome to tear my suitcase apart. Lucky they're only these tacky Louis Vuitton bags!) is likely to find him or herself detained at the customs desk for a nice, long spell. Likewise, responding to a waiter's suggestion with Je reserve la lamproie a la bordelaise pour un occasion speciale (I'm saving a stew of blood-sucking eels for a very special occasion.) just about guarantees bad service. In other words, the French you'll learn from Wicked French for Travelers is probably best enjoyed at home before you go.

Like Henry Beard's French for Cats this slim volume is meant to amuse more than educate. Surely you wouldn't really expect some Parisian beauty to respond to a pick-up line like Comment vous appelez-vous, mon bijou de trente-six carats? (What is your name, my jewel of thirty-six carats?) or hope to make it out of a post office alive after demanding of the clerk if he has a porcupine stuck up his rear end (avez-vous un porc-epic coince entre les fesses?). Our advice: Read Wicked French and have a good laugh before you go--but take a different phrase book with you on your trip.

From the Back Cover

"Vous etes une super nana."
You are one fabulous babe.

"Vos yeux sont aussi bleus que l'ocean de mon amour pour vous est grand."
Your eyes are as blue as the sea of my love for you is large.

"Sans vous je ne suis qu'un ver de terre."
I am only an earthworm without you.

"Comment vous appelez-vous, mon bijou de trente-six carats?"
And what is your name, my jewel of thirty-six carats?

"Ciel! Voutre mari!"
Ah! Your husband!

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Paperback: 64 pages
• Publisher: Workman Publishing Company; French and English Language edition (January 9, 1989)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0894806165
• ISBN-13: 978-0894806162
• Product Dimensions: 6.1 x 4.1 x 0.2 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.2 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (11 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #164,213 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
  • #14 in Books > 4-for-3 Books > Reference > Dictionaries & Thesauruses > Foreign Language > French
  • #28 in Books > 4-for-3 Books > Reference > Foreign Languages > Instruction > French
  • #63 in Books > 4-for-3 Books > Reference > Words & Language > Study & Teaching

More About the Author

I enjoy travel, as you might expect from the books I've written. When I go abroad I prefer not to have a lot of plans or even hotel reservations. Many of my favorite experiences on the road -- and the ones I remember best -- have been in situations where I'm out of my element. That often leads to physical or emotional discomfort, but it's almost always worth it.

For example, the first time I set out to scuba dive with sharks, in a place called Palau in the western Pacific, I felt scared. The water was 900 feet deep and I didn't have a weapon. But when they swam lazily over to check me out, my fear turned to awe. Their incredible beauty, curiosity and caution surprised me. (Yes, I would get out of the water if I saw a tiger or great white.)

My brother and I once walked into a tough little biker bar in New Richmond, a small town in southern Ohio. Everyone stopped talking and stared at us. We're city boys; they probably thought we were lost. But we ordered Bud longnecks and shots of Maker's Mark and punched some Patsy Cline into the jukebox, and pretty soon everyone was back in conversation. Within half an hour the owner was introducing us to her daughter and we were shooting pool with the bikers, even though we didn't agree on all the rules. They found out we were people, even though we live in New York and L.A., and we were able to see them as individuals through their beards and leather.

That, to me, is the point of travel: not just to "see things" but to make the world a bigger place.

Although my travel books are meant to be funny rather than practical, my hope is that they help people appreciate other perspectives better and take themselves and their frustrations a little less seriously.

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

9 of 9 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Very funny - not meant to be taken seriously, June 11, 2003

By A Customer

This review is from: Wicked French (Paperback)

I hope everyone realizes that this book is not actually meant to be used in France. I mean, there may be a rare occasion or two where you might actually be able to put it into practice, but for the most part I wouldn't recommend it. Some of the phrases are extremely insulting or are exaggerated for comic effect. What I mean is that French people don't really go around saying that the wine they're drinking has "wrinkled buttocks." The entire series of "Wicked" books is, in my opinion, one big tongue-in-cheek kind of joke. They work best for people who have been to these countries and/or have familiarity with some of the customs and thus can appreciate the humor. They're tiny, fun, and cheap; I've had mine for years and I still thumb through them from time to time for a quick laugh. Howard Tomb and the illustrator, Jared Lee, have more than a touch of comic genius.

12 of 15 people found the following review helpful:

3.0 out of 5 stars Not exactly top-of-the-line as far as slang instruction goes, September 5, 1998

By A Customer

This review is from: Wicked French (Paperback)

Well, anyone can tell when reading this little book that it is meant to be a humorous guide and not intended for actual practice. I found some of the sayings entertaining but not really practical even for friends to say amongst themselves jokingly. As a polyglot and a student, I have found numerous other series of language books that do a much better job of addressing idioms, colloquialisms, and slang for those truly interested in acquiring a working knowledge of a certain language. As far as a good set of books to check out for French slang, I highly recommend the "Street French" series and in particular, the third book, "The Best of Naughty French."

6 of 8 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Now we know why the French think Jerry Lewis is a genius., June 16, 1999

By A Customer

This review is from: Wicked French (Paperback)

The best thing about this small but very potent book is flexibility. Not only does it allow a tourist a limited linguistic advantage but it also provides valuable insight as a cultural tool. While this book may help explain why the French think of Jerry Lewis as a comic genius, it doesn't excuse it.