Customer Reviews

A Wife for My Son

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Ali Ghalem's A Wife for my Son is a sensitive account not only of how the traditional constraints of hierarchical marriage affect an intelligent, independent young woman, but also of how economic exile into a "post-colonial" society stifle the ambitions and the personality of a young husband.

"Western" readers are mostly unfamiliar with the details of how marriage and family lives work in North Africa, and may be surprised at the modernity and subtlety with which the author presents his themes. A young, well-educated, woman is suddenly -- and apparently without reason -- converted into a bride-to-be in a conventional arranged marriage. In a patriarchal society like that of contemporary Algeria, this means not only submission to her husband's desires and neglect, but also a radical shift away from her beloved home to that of her new in-laws. Fatiha chafes under the discrimination and even dislike she encounters in her new environment, especially since her husband has gone back to seek work in France and left her "alone." Hocine understands that he, too, is alienated by custom and by distance, but he does not have the sensitivity nor the education, nor the modernity, to characterize his loneliness in the way his young wife does.

Ali Ghalem carefully and patiently describes a young woman's maturing in hostile circumstances which she is, finally, able to alter and re-create into a a network of support and even pleasure and fun. In the end, it is the young men, isolated from their customs, food and language in a hostile and discriminatory environment, who have the greatest difficulties in maintaining their customs, their personality, their birthright.

This is an unusually sensitive and informative account of how inflexible gender roles affect a young generation and of the innate strengths, particularly of the young women, which can bend those roles into fulfilment and even comfort.

Written in 1979, it pre-dates much recent interest in Islam. Islam is not mentioned by name in this book, but there is a very descriptive section on father and son visiting a mosque to pray.

The most revealing elements are those that the newly-wed wife discovers the hard way:-

"We will go out and you will wear a veil. What is it you're looking for ? To get insulted by the men and even the kids ? Do you want me to be ridiculed ? I'm telling you, starting today you will go out with your veil or you won't go out at all !"

"Hocine, her husband, remained a stranger, a stranger she had to serve by day and who had every right by night."

Ghalem is an excellent writer. Anyone wanting to know details of typical Muslim family life should read this book.

Ali Ghalem's novel is a bleak look at what it's like to be caught between centuries of smothering tradition and the liberating reality of modern life in Algeria. The main character, Fatiha, starts out life as a hopeful, intelligent, modern young woman who likes to study. She then becomes the victim of an arranged marriage into a family that forces her into invisibility behind a hijab (veil) and into a house she may not leave. The story traces the evolution of her emotions as she slowly gathers the strength to rebel.

What struck me about "A Wife for my Son" was the honest portrayal of family life, with no obvious propaganda either for or against Islam or arranged marriage. The love between the father and mother of the husband and the realistic personalities of the husband's siblings gave the book a three-dimensional feel. A rare treat for a Westerner to get such an interesting look into Algerian society.

This seller is cheater only. Do not place an order for this book. I placed an order on Dec 23' 2009 and not received book till date Jan 24' 2010. Though Amazon.com promised me to return the money back but I have not received it back.