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A Wife's Guide to In-laws: How to Gain Your Husband's Loyalty Without Killing His Parents Paperback – February 23, 2009


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Editorial Reviews

Review

You married your husband; you didn't plan on marrying his parents. But, like it or not, they're part of your family. In-law problems can plague many marriages because so many couples feel hopeless about making things better. Jenna Barry's witty and insightful book gives hope to women and men who struggle with overbearing, over-involved or downright malicious in-laws. She gives useful, humorous and down-to-earth advice that says: "I've managed to do it, you can do it, too!" A Wife's Guide to In-laws is the Red Bull® of relationship books: it will give you wings. --Dr. Scott Haltzman, Best-selling author of The Secrets of Happily Married Women and The Secrets of Happily Married Men

"Jenna's work has been a beacon of hope for those who struggle with one of the most difficult relationships- the in-laws. Her unique insight gives readers practical, easy-to-follow tips and provides insight on how to deal with `the other half' of one's marriage. Her comprehensive work allows marriages to grow in a positive, yet straightforward manner, which for most can be the number one burden in sharing a life with another. Jenna's work is a must read for those who struggle with mitigating the third wheel and should be the go to source for everything in-laws." --Gabriel Lefrancois, Hitched Magazine -- Hitched Magazine

Review

Jenna D. Barry defines a very common conflict that devastates many marriages and provides step-by-step advice for winning the in-law battle in order to create a better marriage. She deftly mixes wisdom with touches of humor to lift the tone of what could be a stressful how-to for many couples. Although we like to have advice from experts in a given field (and this book contains such), we also like to learn from people who have "been there, done that." The strength of this book is its author's experience: she actually DID what she's talking about--she gained her husband's loyalty--and now shares her successful methods with others facing the same issues in their lives. She establishes credibility with readers as she describes feelings they have and her first-hand knowledge of what they are going through. Jenna offers a wide range of advice, varying in degrees of firmness, and encourages the reader to decide what will be most effective for her particular situation.
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Product Details

  • Paperback: 281 pages
  • Publisher: lulu.com (November 24, 2008)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0557025001
  • ISBN-13: 978-0557025008
  • Product Dimensions: 6.1 x 0.6 x 9.2 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 1.1 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (22 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #451,425 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

There's a saying that when life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade. Difficult in-laws have been my life's lemons, but fortunately my marriage triumphed over that obstacle. Now I am trying to make lemonade by helping other women unite with their husbands to deal with their controlling, intrusive, and/or manipulative in-laws. Women can join my support group, read my articles, or find a counselor by visiting my website at www.WifeGuide.org. They can also follow me on Twitter at http://twitter.com/JennaDBarry.

I have received positive reviews and endorsements from Hitched (a magazine that educates & inspires married couples), Power Women Magazine, Midwest Book Review, Reader Views, best-selling authors, and many marriage counselors.

Things I like:
Animals (not reptiles), eating Rocky Road right out the carton, using the word "sucks," singing even when I don't know the words, Weird Al's song "Dirty Deeds Done With Sheep"

Things I don't like:
people who abuse animals, tailgaters, mosquitoes, cellulite, ironing, hair in the bathtub, food that doesn't look as good as the picture

Movie character that best represents me:
Dory (the forgetful fish) from Finding Nemo

My favorite quote:
"More marriages might survive if the partners realized that sometimes the better comes after the worse."-Doug Larson

Customer Reviews

4.6 out of 5 stars
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

9 of 9 people found the following review helpful By penguinwaffles on July 27, 2011
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
A year of disrespect from my new mother-in-law had reached it's climax. I hate confrontation and have always been raised to be respectful of my elders, however my in-laws were making my life horrible and I knew something would have to change. After finally asserting my feelings to my mother-in-law, I can tell you that I was banned from their home and told that my existence would not be acknowledged until I could learn to behave as a daughter to them. After weeks of crying myself to sleep at night, and my husband siding with his parents, I finally bought this book!

This book is humorous and calming. The author describes different "types" of in-laws. Mine are not-so-great white sharks. It is not a boring read. I can say that the strategies suggested in the book are very helpful in assisting me to change my own behavior. As a result, I can already see tiny changes in my spouse's behavior. I am less critical of his parents in his presence and he is finally standing up for me to them. It's a hard road but I am starting to see a light at the end of the tunnel and our marriage is greatly improved from several weeks ago. (before the book) There are worksheets in the back of the book which I did not find helpful at all (which is why I don't give 5 stars). There is also two chapters specifically geared towards your spouse.
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8 of 8 people found the following review helpful By Rayna Nielsen on November 30, 2009
Format: Paperback
The constant war with your in-laws will take a toll on your marriage, quite possibly the ultimate toll. Since none of us want that to happen, if you are currently waging this war I suggest you read this book. The Wife's Guide to In-Laws will take you step-by-step through pinpointing exactly what your issues are, setting up a plan to address them and actually following through with the plan you set up with lots of examples along the way. Actual sentences you can use when talkingto your in-laws or your husband can give you the extra confidence you need to address the issues you are having with respect and sensitivity while at the same time standing your ground.

At times in situations like this a wife can feel helpless, after all they aren't your parents what right do you have to ask them to back off? The Wife's Guide to In-Laws does a wonderful job of building confidence in the reader letting you know that just because you are married to your husband doesn't mean his family can cross your personalboundaries and make you uncomfortable. You do have the right to respectfully decline an invitation or ask them to call before they just drop by your house. At the heart of this book is the need to be honest with yourself. pick the battles that truly matter most to you then stand your ground in an understanding but firm way. A Wife's Guide to In-laws: How to Gain Your Husband's Loyalty Without Killing His Parents will teach you how to do just that.
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful By sarah on July 29, 2012
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
Read a lot of articles from the author. I finally bought the book and I'm so glad I did. Really practical help for wives to deal with difficult in-laws in an honest and respectful manner. Puts things in perspective so you can get on with dealing with it, instead of being upset over it. Recommend for wives-to-be as well, so you can set the standard on how in-laws treat you before it all goes wrong!
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She has great tips on how to lay out boundaries with the in-laws, but if you don't have your husband's support (which COMPLETELY DETERMINES HOW YOU AND YOUR MIL will get along) then the book might disappoint (and you probably need marriage counselling).

I got no problem for laying down boundaries so most of the content was super helpful for me, but I didn't really have my husband's support at first. There are a couple chapters for the husband, which articulated for me some things that I couldn't quite explain to him. I think the biggest point she made there was "you can't please both, stop trying" but leaves out the damage he does to the marriage, to his wife's security in the relationship if continually demonstrating more care for the mom... And insecurity can be the impetus for affairs, blah blah blah.
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Format: Paperback
He's still their little boy, you know. "A Wife's Guide to In-Laws: How to Gain Your Husband's Loyalty Without Killing His Parents" is a guide to dealing with one of the most feared and loathed parts of marriage - the in-laws. With wit and pizzazz, author Jenna Barry gives her advice through text and charming black-and-white cartoons illustrating her words. From the wedding night until the time to leave the natural world, "A Wife's Guide to In-Laws" is a must for anyone who wonders how their husband came from such seemingly antagonistic people.
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful By Yoshi 09 on January 19, 2013
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
Great advice. Not all of it will apply to your situation but you'll figure that out once you start reading. I do like the humor in it and I really think it's practical advice that gives me hope with my current MIL situation. The only thing I would suggest being different is the cover. I felt kind of embarrased of having it out in front of company or my husband. I don't want anyone, even my husband to think I think his parents are evil or not great. Kind of defeats the purpose of working on the situation. Wish it was a little more discreet.
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5 of 6 people found the following review helpful By PH on February 22, 2009
Format: Paperback
In my private practice, when it comes to in-laws, nearly every couple seems to have a story. Women, especially, struggle with that innate conflict with her mother-in-law; one sees him as a boy, the other as a man. This book has a wealth of information and resources for women in dealing with her mother-in-law... and finding ways to "gain her husbands loyalty." It's an enjoyable read and one I personally wish I had 35 years ago.
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