Wifework: What Marriage Really Means for Women [Hardcover]

Susan Maushart (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: March 6, 2002

Men get one thing from marriage that women never do: they get wives.

Husbands and wives may say they are committed to equality, and indeed, many believe that they live that way. Yet, whether they are employed or not, wives still perform an astounding share of the physical, emotional, and organizational labor in marriage-everything from housework to 'sex work'. 'Wifework' is shorthand for this relentless routine of husband maintenance, and it's the reason that a married man is so much better off than a bachelor. He does fewer chores, is happier, healthier and generally more satisfied. A married woman, by contrast, will perform two to three times more unpaid physical, emotional, and organizational labor than her husband-and for a fraction of the rewards. Women today initiate three-quarters of all divorces, and wifework, Maushart argues, is at the core of their disillusionment. If family life is worth saving, the job description for wives will have to be rewritten.

Bolstering her own personal experience as a twice-married mother of three with substantial research and broad statistical evidence, Maushart delves into history to explore the theoretical and evolutionary reasons behind marital inequity. Her arguments are passionate, but she keeps her sense of humor intact throughout, producing a work that is lucid, provocative, and resonant.

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Wifework, "the care and maintenance of men's bodies, minds and egos" is a one-way street, says Maushart, something wives do for husbands at great cost to their mental and physical health, with minimal reciprocation. According to her, even fully employed wives do a disproportionate amount of housework, in addition to "child-care drudgework," "monitoring His physical well-being," "deferring to His agenda in day-to-day conversation," maintaining "His extended family relationships," etc. Maushart (The Mask of Motherhood) counters that he, in contrast, is merely a "volunteer" in the marriage; apart from providing an income, he's really only expected to "turn up" at family events. That such inequality endures at least in Maushart's view despite feminism and economic progress for women, is a question the author explores here. This Australian writer asserts that while men use various denial mechanisms to avoid wifework (like trivializing the importance of cleaning), what's worse is that most wives seem to collude in "maintaining positive illusions" about the inequality in their marriages. Her solution? Readers may expect a call for the end of marriage, but Maushart pleads for the interests of the children, for whom she says divorce is worse than living with marital discord. Instead, she advocates that couples relieve some wifework by assigning broad areas of responsibility (laundry, cooking, etc.) to husbands. And women should expect less, she says; they should realize that "marriage entails a sort of base level of unhappiness that couples need to learn to anticipate and accept." Though that's a downbeat ending for an often funny dissection of modern marriage, it is 100% honest like the rest of this smart and witty book.

Copyright 2002 Cahners Business Information, Inc.

From Library Journal

That marriage is a problematic institution comes as no surprise to anyone who's ever been in one or watched from the sidelines. To the spate of books claiming to have the answer to marriage's woes come two thoughtful and well-researched offerings, which take slightly different tacks. In Wifework, Maushart (Sort of a Place Like Home) suggests that the main reason divorce is so prevalent and is initiated by women three quarters of the time is that marriage is simply a better deal for men than for women. According to Maushart, women are too often expected to perform "wifework" the time-consuming and energy-draining effort to maintain men's bodies, minds, and egos. From preparing meals specifically to his taste and schedule to deferring to his agenda in day-to-day conversation, wives are involved, mentally and physically, with husband care. And it's not reciprocated. Maushart has put her finger on a marital hot spot, one voiced among women but rarely publicly. Still, this book isn't about blame but about realizing one aspect of the problem and working to fix it through true partnership, which Maushart emphasizes over any specific advice.
Copyright 2002 Cahners Business Information, Inc.

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Hardcover: 270 pages
• Publisher: Bloomsbury USA; First U.S. Edition edition (March 6, 2002)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1582342024
• ISBN-13: 978-1582342023
• Product Dimensions: 9.5 x 6.6 x 1 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1.3 pounds
• Average Customer Review: 3.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (12 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #155,521 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

31 of 35 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars a book for husbands, August 14, 2002

By A Customer

This review is from: Wifework: What Marriage Really Means for Women (Hardcover)

I bought this book as a 13th wedding anniversary gift to my wife. After having read it, she said there was nothing in the book that she didn't already know at some gut-level, but of course, she enjoyed it. Then, I read it. I had thought of myself as a considerate husband, but it surely opened my eyes! I found some of my behavioral patterns discussed and dissected in this book. It made me more conscious of my own perceptions of marriage, and seeded a discussion of these things with my wife.

The book argues cogently (though some points are made over and over again), based on a wealth of research with ample references at the end, that marriage has always been a better bargain for men than women, even after accounting for all the oft-repeated benefits to women. But the best contribution of this book is in its explicit analysis of the various facets of wifework: house work, child work, sex work, emotional work and relationship management. The author does not mince her words. While one could argue about how "extreme" the author may be in her own personal views (to her credit, she mostly labels these as such) and how her views may have been colored by her own two obviously bad marriages, this analysis of wifework and its components is most informative. It will enlighten husbands, validate the feelings of beleaguered wives, and most importantly encourage wives and husbands to engage in a conversation about these inequities and find their own balance and level of sharing in their marriages. It is for this reason that I recommend perhaps one should read "The Surrendered Wife : A Practical Guide to Finding Intimacy, Passion, and Peace with Your Man with Wifework" after this book - see two diametrically opposite views and then seek your own balance!

15 of 18 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars wifework, May 24, 2002

By A Customer

This review is from: Wifework: What Marriage Really Means for Women (Hardcover)

Just spent the last 2 days reading and finishing "wife work".
Enjoyed it immensely, though I'm glad I read it after I split with my partner of 18years,it would have been too depressing to read in the relationship itself. This way I could laugh when reading of women going out to work seeing this as a welcome break from family life(or 'wifework') .It brought to mind of an experience I had years ago. After 13 years, 3 kids ,no time off for'good behavior'I finally negoitiated 1 night off per week and yes I did come home to disaster and awake kids etc but it was worth it.One evening waiting for a girlfriend to arrive I was bitten by a redback spider(3 times) lurking in my jeans.After ringing 'poisons info.line' I worked out that since the poison could take up to 1 1/2 hours to kick in I could still get to go to dinner first before maybe going to hospital for a shot of anti-venene.Deciding it was a bit risky I stayed home with the obvious expectation that the partner would take over(it was my night off after all!).In my frustrated dreams!Not only did I have to get my own icepack, the painkillers were offered and chucked from the door way, I still had to gather up the kids all running amok to put them into bed (twice) while he read the newspaper! Read the book it will ring alarm bells as it should if you want to stay married. Now if Susan Maushart could write a book on how to bring up my 3 boys so they don't fall into the same trap we might get somewhere changing those statisics!

17 of 21 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Women know it's true, men wonder if it's so, March 22, 2002

By A Customer

Amazon Verified Purchase

This review is from: Wifework: What Marriage Really Means for Women (Hardcover)

"Wifework" makes it clear why women file for divorce better 70 percent of the time. In a day and age when abut half of first marriages fail and second marriages fare even worse, reading "Wifework" explains it all. Men like marriage because it serves them well. Women wake up one morning and realize they're doing more than their share trying to make it work. The stars in their eyes are replaced with the quesion, "Why do I need this?" and they realize they don't. Women can support themselves without a husband. They can buy a house or a car, all by themselves. They can have and raise children without a man, too. Read the book, ladies and tell me if you don't say, "Right On!!!"