'It Will Never Happen to Me!' Children of Alcoholics: As Youngsters - Adolescents - Adults [Mass Market Paperback]

Claudia Black (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: September 12, 1987

This "little green book," as it has come to be known to hundreds of thousands of C.O.A.'s and A.C.O.A.'s, is meant to help the reader understand the roles children in alcoholic families adopt, the problems they face in adulthood as a result, and what they can do to break the pattern of destruction.

Editorial Reviews

From the Publisher

One of the gifts of what we have come to learn about people raised in chemically dependent families is that it has offered extremely useful information for people raised in other types of troubled families as well. Whether or not you were raised in an addictive family system, It Will Never Happen To Me may very well offer a framework to understand your situation. We have long recognized that people raised with physical and sexual aabuse strongly identify as if they were raised with addiction. People raised with mental illness, ranging from schizophrenia to depression, to raging parents, frequently identify with adult child issues. People raised with parents afected by chronic health issues, physical challenges, as well as those raised by an adult child (an adult child who may not manifest an addiction, but the thinking and behavior is often characteristic of an addict) may also identify. The connecting thread between these different types of families is experienc! ing chronic loss that fuels emotional isolation, rigidity, or shame.

Whatever the circumstances, when you come from a history of loss, it is like being a first cousin to the person raised with addiction. Therefore, if this information can benefit others raised in troubled families, this is an added gift. --This text refers to the Paperback edition.

From the Author

While hundreds of thousands of people are in recovery from chemical dependency, codependency, and adult child issues, our communities continue to be impacted by addiction. Heroin, cocaine, crystal methamphetamine, and marijuana use is rampant throughout our communities. But historically, the number one abused drug is alcohol.

While the focus of this book will remain on homes where alcohol is the primary drug, it is my hope the reader will see similarities in other substance abusing families. The commonalities will be living with extremes, living with the unknown, or the fears. It is the living in a system where the addiction has become central to the family and the needs of the individual family members become secondary to the needs of the addict and his or her addiction.

This book is meant to offer a foundation for understanding what occurred growing up in an addictive family and to offer hope for recovery. I want to acknowledge each and every one of you who have ever thought, spoken, believed and hoped "it will never happen to me." Because of that conviction, and because of your impact on me, together we have the possibility of creating a different journey for ourselves and others. --This text refers to the Paperback edition.

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Product Details

• Mass Market Paperback: 224 pages
• Publisher: Ballantine Books; First Ballantine Edition edition (September 12, 1987)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0345345940
• ISBN-13: 978-0345345943
• Product Dimensions: 4.2 x 0.6 x 6.9 inches
• Shipping Weight: 4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (29 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #212,480 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
  • #4 in Books > 4-for-3 Books > Parenting & Families > Family Relationships > Dysfunctional Relationships
  • #5 in Books > 4-for-3 Books > Parenting & Families > Parenting > Emotions & Feelings
  • #13 in Books > 4-for-3 Books > Health, Mind & Body > Recovery > Alcoholism

More About the Author

Claudia Black, M.S.W., Ph.D. is a renowned addictions and codependency expert, author and trainer internationally recognized for her pioneering and contemporary work with family systems and addictive disorders. Since the 1970s Dr. Black's work has encompassed the impact of addiction on young and adult children. She has offered models of intervention and treatment related to family violence, multi-addictions, relapse, anger, depression and women's issues. Dr. Black designs and presents training workshops and seminars to professional audiences in the field of family service, mental health, addiction and correctional services. She serves on the Advisory Board for the National Association of Children of Alcoholics, and the Advisory Council of the Moyer Foundation. A schedule of Claudia's events are on her website claudiablack.com

Claudia is the author of It Will Never Happen To Me, Changing Course, My Dad Loves Me, My Dad Has A Disease, Repeat After Me, It's Never Too Late To Have A Happy Childhood, Relapse Toolkit, A Hole in the Sidewalk, Depression Strategies, Straight Talk, The Stamp Game, Family Strategies, Anger Strategies and her newest title Deceived: Facing Sexual Betrayal, Lies and Secrets. She has produced seven audio CDs addressing issues of addiction and recovery. They are A Time for Healing, Putting the Past Behind, Triggers, Emotional Baggage, Trauma in the Addicted Family, Imageries and Letting Go Imageries. And, she has over 20 DVDs for professionals to use working with families and clients.


Dr. Black has been a keynote speaker on Capitol Hill in Washington, D.C. and on Parliament Hill in Ottawa, Canada. Her workshops have been presented to an extraordinarily wide array of audiences including military academies, prison systems, medical schools, and extensive mental health and addiction programs. Claudia has extensive multi-cultural experiences working with agencies and audiences in Japan, Brazil, Australia, Scotland, Iceland, Germany, England and Canada. Many of her books and videos have been translated and published abroad. Dr. Black is the recipient of numerous national awards including the 2004 Distinguished Alumni Award from the University of Washington School of Social Work.


Claudia resides in the Pacific Northwest with her husband and two Westies.

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

74 of 76 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Well written, jargon free, motivating and inspiring, August 10, 2000

By 

Simon Jackson - See all my reviews

This review is from: 'It Will Never Happen to Me!' Children of Alcoholics: As Youngsters - Adolescents - Adults (Mass Market Paperback)

Claudia Black has written extensively on the subject of Children of Alcoholics (COA) and Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACOA). In her book `It Will Never Happen to Me' she has combined her considerable talent for jargon free language with the words and expressions of those who have experienced life as a COA/ACOA. The result is a wonderfully insightful book that will bring clarity to a great many people.

A central theme of the book is an exploration of the roles that ACOA adopt as a means of coping with the events around them - the responsible one, the adjuster, the placater and so on. Often in childhood these roles are appropriate in that they enable the child to cope with their often traumatic experiences. However, in adulthood the over-dependency on these roles can lead to obsessions, neurosis, mental health problems amongst other issues. Furthermore, in a family where alcohol is used in an unhealthy manner the child learns to `don't talk, don't trust and don't feel'. Claudia Black gives the reader an insight in to the possibilities that exist for the adult child to break away from the scripts that have been set for them by others. The message is `it doesn't have to be this way'.

I was the responsible child, the hero of my family. I did well at school, was good at sports, succeeded in almost all areas. I went on the University, gained a good degree, a counselling qualification and then a Masters - as an adult I was fulfilling my script to be responsible, to achieve, to be the hero. I was also in a succession of relationships where I took on the role of carer, replicating the role that had developed in my family. Along with some therapy, the books of Claudia Black were pivotal in my change process, moving away from who others wanted me to be to the person I wanted to work towards being.

This book alone cannot change the behaviour of the ACOA, words after all are only words! What this book does however, is provide the right words - full of wisdom and experience - that can motivate and inspire the ACOA to begin his/her journey to wholeness.

40 of 41 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent Insight into Who I am and Why, August 6, 2005

By 

D. Russell (Grass Valley, CA USA) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

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This review is from: 'It Will Never Happen to Me!' Children of Alcoholics: As Youngsters - Adolescents - Adults (Mass Market Paperback)

I read this book AFTER reading ADULT CHILDREN OF ALCOHOLICS by Janet Woititz. Both provided me with insight into a problem I only recently realized I have. However, Black's book is both easier to read and has more detailed analysis. She divides ACoAs into four categories: The Responsible One, The Adjuster, The Placater, and "Acting Out". I fit the profile of Responsible in every way. I now understand myself better, and am beginning therapy for the first time in my life at the age of 55. Thank you, Dr. Black, for opening my eyes!

30 of 31 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars This book could change your life., April 2, 2001

By 

Zbodhimama "spiritabroad" (San Diego, CA USA) - See all my reviews

This review is from: 'It Will Never Happen to Me!' Children of Alcoholics: As Youngsters - Adolescents - Adults (Mass Market Paperback)

Both of my parents were alcoholics, and when I read It Will Never Happen to Me in the 1980s it changed my life forever. Just this week I recommended it to yet another person. Most people I've given it to are afraid to read it, because it will bring back painful memories, but it is worth it. If some readers find the material in this book to be basic or familiar, they may not realize that it was the ground breaking book on this subject for a popular audience. All subsequent books for adult children of alcoholics owe a debt to Claudia Black.