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Whatever the circumstances, when you come from a history of loss, it is like being a first cousin to the person raised with addiction. Therefore, if this information can benefit others raised in troubled families, this is an added gift. --This text refers to the Paperback edition.
While the focus of this book will remain on homes where alcohol is the primary drug, it is my hope the reader will see similarities in other substance abusing families. The commonalities will be living with extremes, living with the unknown, or the fears. It is the living in a system where the addiction has become central to the family and the needs of the individual family members become secondary to the needs of the addict and his or her addiction.
This book is meant to offer a foundation for understanding what occurred growing up in an addictive family and to offer hope for recovery. I want to acknowledge each and every one of you who have ever thought, spoken, believed and hoped "it will never happen to me." Because of that conviction, and because of your impact on me, together we have the possibility of creating a different journey for ourselves and others. --This text refers to the Paperback edition.
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews
73 of 75 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars
Well written, jargon free, motivating and inspiring,
This review is from: 'It Will Never Happen to Me!' Children of Alcoholics: As Youngsters - Adolescents - Adults (Mass Market Paperback)
Claudia Black has written extensively on the subject of Children of Alcoholics (COA) and Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACOA). In her book `It Will Never Happen to Me' she has combined her considerable talent for jargon free language with the words and expressions of those who have experienced life as a COA/ACOA. The result is a wonderfully insightful book that will bring clarity to a great many people.A central theme of the book is an exploration of the roles that ACOA adopt as a means of coping with the events around them - the responsible one, the adjuster, the placater and so on. Often in childhood these roles are appropriate in that they enable the child to cope with their often traumatic experiences. However, in adulthood the over-dependency on these roles can lead to obsessions, neurosis, mental health problems amongst other issues. Furthermore, in a family where alcohol is used in an unhealthy manner the child learns to `don't talk, don't trust and don't feel'. Claudia Black gives the reader an insight in to the possibilities that exist for the adult child to break away from the scripts that have been set for them by others. The message is `it doesn't have to be this way'. I was the responsible child, the hero of my family. I did well at school, was good at sports, succeeded in almost all areas. I went on the University, gained a good degree, a counselling qualification and then a Masters - as an adult I was fulfilling my script to be responsible, to achieve, to be the hero. I was also in a succession of relationships where I took on the role of carer, replicating the role that had developed in my family. Along with some therapy, the books of Claudia Black were pivotal in my change process, moving away from who others wanted me to be to the person I wanted to work towards being. This book alone cannot change the behaviour of the ACOA, words after all are only words! What this book does however, is provide the right words - full of wisdom and experience - that can motivate and inspire the ACOA to begin his/her journey to wholeness.
40 of 41 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Excellent Insight into Who I am and Why,
By
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This review is from: 'It Will Never Happen to Me!' Children of Alcoholics: As Youngsters - Adolescents - Adults (Mass Market Paperback)
I read this book AFTER reading ADULT CHILDREN OF ALCOHOLICS by Janet Woititz. Both provided me with insight into a problem I only recently realized I have. However, Black's book is both easier to read and has more detailed analysis. She divides ACoAs into four categories: The Responsible One, The Adjuster, The Placater, and "Acting Out". I fit the profile of Responsible in every way. I now understand myself better, and am beginning therapy for the first time in my life at the age of 55. Thank you, Dr. Black, for opening my eyes!
29 of 30 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
This book could change your life.,
By Zbodhimama "spiritabroad" (San Diego, CA USA) - See all my reviews
This review is from: 'It Will Never Happen to Me!' Children of Alcoholics: As Youngsters - Adolescents - Adults (Mass Market Paperback)
Both of my parents were alcoholics, and when I read It Will Never Happen to Me in the 1980s it changed my life forever. Just this week I recommended it to yet another person. Most people I've given it to are afraid to read it, because it will bring back painful memories, but it is worth it. If some readers find the material in this book to be basic or familiar, they may not realize that it was the ground breaking book on this subject for a popular audience. All subsequent books for adult children of alcoholics owe a debt to Claudia Black.
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