Customer Reviews

I Will Never Leave You: How Couples Can Achieve The Power Of Lasting Love

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This book has saved my marriage, and will probably save it again in the future.

My husband and I have a closer and loving relationship because of the things we've learned and worked on from this book. We both read different chapters for ourselves and to each other. We still go back from time to time and reread different passages about anger and fear. It's so well written and supported by Hugh and Gayle Prather's personal experiences as well as those of couples they've counseled. I love the way they challenge many socially accepted ideas. In being aware of similar thought processes and patterns, my husband and I have been able to get to the core of real problems instead of dancing around the problems that aren't really problems at all.

This book is not for people who do not want to grow. It's not for people who think that marriage does not require work. It's not for people who are under the illusion that "marriage isn't supposed to be this hard." It's for people who want to believe in their choices, and who believe in the specialness of a longlasting relationship, and who've realized if they don't work it with this person, they'll just have to work it out with the next.

Those who aren't afraid to fight for what's important will want to read this book. Those people who want to stop blaming others for their own unawareness will want this book. I really can't say it any better than Gadban from Minnesota. It truly is a book to read before you give up on all you've invested in and break the promise you made before your spouse, friends, family, and God.

This is a beautiful, thoughtful book written by a husband and wife team who offer an antidote to the prevailing mindset which has resulted in a high divorce rate and millions of broken promises. The Prathers impart some wisdom on the subject of enduring relationships based on their own experiences and those of the many couples they have counseled over the years.

The authors take us through the different stages of a marriage and map out what to expect and how to deal with these changes. They present an excellent strategy for having arguments, and discuss how much people lose out on by choosing divorce. There is a good chapter on dealing with an affair. They end with the six promises of a real relationship

I felt that almost everything they have to say here rings true. This is a great roadmap for staying married forever and reaping the rewards of lifelong love and friendship. They inspire me to have a successful and "real" marriage.

I would highly recommend this book to anyone.

October 19, 1997 Book Review Occasionally a self-help book by support group leaders shows me the author is a light bearer. If you aren't lucky enough to have such help for a rocky marriage, their book is clear enough, loving enough, comprehensive enough, that you might find guidelines to save it with. The book is "I Will Never Leave You; How Couples Cam Achieve the Power of Lasting Love." by Hugh and Gayle Prather. I picked it up in hard cover, from the remainder table at our bookstore. I sure hope it's being issued in soft cover. The authors are as concerned as any of us about the widespread belief that divorce can make for happiness for at least the person leaving. They point out that your every such desertion withers your soul a little more. They have seen how people grow by sticking with the promise made with "I do." Their first chapter, "The Twenty First Century Relationship," tells the sorry story of today's broken marriages and half orphaned children. Readers will recognize these sad facts. Glance ahead and see chapters and subjects like "Beyond I, Me and Mine, The Part of You That Chose Your Partner. A Potential for Healing Can Look like War. Four Sensitizing Techniques, Predisposing Expectations, Four Examples of Core Dynamics. The Eight Mindsets of a Real Relationship. Protecting and Perfecting a Real Relationship, and "I Will Never Leave You: the Six Promises of a Real Relationship." And there are about six pages of such carefully thought out headings. END

After all the personal experiences; marriage, divorce,remarriage, husband's affair, reconciliation, children.....etc. I canassure you that what is found within this book is of value. If you as a couple find yourselves gazing down six feet at the casket of your marriage, as we did, you have two choices:

One is for both of you to take shovel in hand and chuck the dirt on. Bury all the love you had, history, memories of holidays together, birthdays, vacations, babies shared...etc. Walk out of the cemetary..... run! Take note of the immense impact on an entire community. Take note the level of grief suffered by the children. Look forward and know that you have no guarantees. (Maybe you are doomed to repeat this pattern.) Some of these may originate from your parents and now you pass them on to your children. Scapegoat the spouse. Scapegoat anyone. Avoid yourself.

The other choice might be to stand across the grave from each other....look into each other's eyes, and turn inward to yourselves. Taking responsibility for your part in this death is hard. Self-examination is hard too. Here lies an opportunity of a life-time; facing yourselves, being honest, owning your part, forgiving, and breaking destructive patterns.

Lasting love is amazing. You can reach deep down, open that casket together and find that there is still a breath of life. You may find there is the most powerful life force you ever imagined in there!

"I Will Never Leave You" is a book which can aid couples in ressurecting their union. Very insightful. Very accurate.

Reconciliation is usually the more difficult choice. This means work. However, the gifts gained can be immeasurable, both personal and as a couple.

My husband and I have learned this. We have done it both ways, and we've witnessed both scenarios pan out over time.

I am grateful for this book which greatly supports what he and I have found to be the ultimate answer....the only answer. Thank you Hugh and Gayle Prather END

When conflicts arise in a marriage, the promise of peace through divorce is a temptation that few can resist. Divorce has become an acceptable and frequently encouraged solution to marital problems. As the Prathers tell us, today's "separation psychology," with its myriad of support groups and counselors, promotes selfishness: "you have a right to the kind of life you want," "the right partner will share your interests, meet your needs, and grow at the same rate you grow," "what's best for you is best for the children." Then we have the lure of certain "new age" ideas, such as the concept of soul mates, which excuses us from fulfilling our commitment to our original "imperfect" partner while we search for our "perfect counterpart."
The Prathers contend that none of us "deserves" an "ideal primary relationship and the fulfillment of all our dreams. What we deserve is love, and we have it only when we give it." For more than 20 years, Hugh and Gayle Prather have counseled couples and encouraged them to give to one another, thus building permanent, satisfying, and spiritually based relationships - the kind that can "go through fire."
The Prathers found that couples who divorces in spite of counseling are rarely happier after separation, and the betrayal of abandonment is damaging to their children and the community, as well as to the soul of the betrayer. The Prathers see the rash of divorces in today's society as one of the symptoms of an epidemic of fear and hatred. Their hope is that I WILL NEVER LEAVE YOU will serve as an emergency manual to deal with tis ongoing disaster.
Filled with wit and wisdom, this manual takes us through all the stages a couple typically experiences in a long-term relationship. It clearly outlines the exercises and sensitizing techniques that the Prathers and their clients have used to successfully heal the breaches in their faltering unions.
The Prathers hold up the real relationship as the ideal for all couples to strive toward. Their definition of a "real" relationship is "one in which two people love each other to fulfill themselves rather than withdraw from each other to fulfill themselves." It is "unquestionably a haven from fear... Once it becomes the goal of any two people, it not only lasts but grows stronger and lovelier with every effort." Any couple who sets this kind of relationship as a goal will find that the Prathers' book will serve as a guide through the storms of life until the two can say to each other: "I love you; I bless you; I want to walk home to God with you."

Emily VanLaeys, author of DREAM WEAVING: USING DREAM GUIDANCE TO CREATE LIFE'S TAPESTRY

This is without question the best book on relationships I've ever read. I am a huge fan of the Prathers, and this book is one of their best. It has saved my marriage on more than one occasion, and I have given it as a gift to many friends embarking on new relationships, marriages or at a difficult stage in the one they're in. The bottom line message is about treating one's partner with gentleness, and being their best friend in the world. This involves a good deal of soul searching, forgiveness, honesty and dialogue - but more than anything it's a mindset, a willingness to love unconditionally. It's BIG stuff, and not for the faint-hearted or those who prefer to be right than happy. If what you're after is the ever-deepening joy of a long-term commitment, this is the book for you.

This is a logical book that addresses real problems people have and stresses the necessity of recognizing ones own weaknesses and strength. Constancy and interdependence by the couple is advocated rather than separateness and self interests. It speaks the downside of divorce and its effects on children, adults and especially society as a whole. If you're having trouble, get in there and read this, together or on your own but read it before you give up!!!

I picked up this book at the recommendation of a friend right after my wife left. I gave her the book to try to work things out, and I feel if she would have just read it, things could have been different; it's that powerful. The points presented seem so easy, and so simple to implement, but most of us just do not for whatever reason.

I highly recommend this book to anyone in relationship crisis, as well as anyone attemping to avoid relationship issues in the future.

The authors have done the world an immense favor by putting their thoughts and experiences of marriage, of both their own and those of the couples they have counseled for over 20 years, into this book. It's like having common sense, loving and down to earth advice from your parents if your parents were open, honest, sane and emotionally articulate. I've long been tired of "self help" books but this one turned out to be a "life help" book and one that I can say without exaggeration not only saved my marriage but strengthened it immensely. If you're having marital problems this is really the only book you need. (And no, I don't know the publishers or the authors! ;) )

I have been through the patterns in this book. I see the err in my ways... and now I feel like I can do things to prevent the cycle of dysfunction in my relationships. It's good to know that there is help and with the right mindset, I can conquer the fear that relationships bring. Thanks to Hugh and Gayle Prather for an execellent and helpful guide to making it to the next level in a relationship.