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Will Not Attend: Lively Stories of Detachment and Isolation Kindle Edition

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Length: 265 pages Enhanced Typesetting: Enabled

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Editorial Reviews

From Booklist

Beginning when he was in elementary school and jumping around through childhood, adolescence, and adulthood, these 15 essays by the Emmy Award–winning Resnick provide a loose commentary on his life. His self-deprecating humor quite often lashes out at other people, such as his family, teachers, neighbors, and people he sees on the street. Resnick has a way of looking at life that will provoke lots of laughter, shame in the reader for laughing, and acute appreciation of Resnick’s OCD-fueled exaggerations. The essays reveal the potty-mouthed, definitely not politically correct, and totally opinionated author at the top of his game. He takes on Disneyland and the Disney philosophy with gusto while on the side using a family trip to destroy the relationship with his sister-in-law. His take on junk food is priceless (“Only a narcissistic asshole would consider his body a temple”). Readers will relish this book. Buy plenty. --Ellen Loughran

Review

“Adam Resnick doesn't merely summon the jaundice and surprise of early David Sedaris, his mini memoirs are unpretentious reminders of John Updike's everyman absurdities and Richard Ford's bewildered strivers. A biting, darkly hilarious collection of personal essays that begs to be read aloud.” 
Chicago Tribune (A Best Book of the Year, 2014)             

“[A] gruff, wry paean to life’s indignities...essays here aren’t just stand-up skits but have actual plots—in which things go horrifically, uproariously wrong…Anyone who watches Larry David will be familiar with Resnick’s hearty style of tell-it-like-it-is meanness.
—Lisa Zeidner, The Washington Post

"An anti-social work of art."
RollingStone.com

“[A] dark, hilarious first book….Resnick is a guy thoroughly uncomfortable in his own skin, and he knows how to wring laughs and pathos out of that fact...[he] delivers his sad little histories with wit, insight and hilarious detail.  [Like] kindred spirits Louis C.K. and Larry David, he just wants the rest of the world to see how stupid it all is.”
—Josh Modell, AV Club  (A Favorite Book of the Year, 2014)


“A streak of self-loathing runs through these stories with the anti-social Resnick repeatedly finding himself struggling through a humiliating or deeply irritating experience. However, that trenchant quality is occasionally undercut by an almost subliminal level of sweetness….Resnick’s cynical sensibilities are surprisingly raw and consistently hilarious….Will Not Attend could very well be one of the funniest books released this year.”
—Splitsider

“The essays reveal the potty-mouthed, definitely not politically correct, and totally opinionated author at the top of his game. He takes on Disneyland and the Disney philosophy with gusto while on the side using a family trip to destroy the relationship with his sister-in-law. His take on junk food is priceless (“Only a narcissistic asshole would consider his body a temple”). Readers will relish this book. Buy plenty.”
Booklist

“The writing is sharp and sharp-tongued … the book is not for readers who are easily offended. The author’s aversion to just about everything paints him as nihilistic and cynical, but the subtle moments of genuine vulnerability remain the heart of every story. These moments prove redemptive for a character who sometimes feels beyond saving and shed light on how he developed such comically twisted viewpoints. A neurotic, unapologetic, hilarious collection.”
Kirkus

“Writing a collection of short stories is a very difficult thing to do. These Adam Resnick stories are great. You read one and think, that was so well done maybe I’ll read another. You think, the next one can’t be as good, and it’s even better. I hope you read this book. It’s funny, smart and thoughtful; and it’s funny, smart and thoughtful. I loved it. I think you will as well. Did I mention I loved it? Happy reading.”
—Dave Letterman
 
“Having worked with Adam Resnick many years ago, I can easily recall he was a little nuts, but I completely forgot he was this talented and funny. Damn, this book is good.”
—Jon Stewart
 
“Adam Resnick is one of the funniest writers I've ever known, and he proves it big-time in this acid-swaddled memoir.  You will laugh reading this book, I swear to Christ Almighty.  Adam comes by his misanthropy honestly and bravely—and his continued existence is a tribute to the soul-nourishing qualities of an unrelenting, unforgiving, and hilarious outlook. I will be reading this again and again for the rest of my life like it's
the goddamn bible.”
—Bob Odenkirk
 
“In the ideal film adaptation of Will Not Attend, second-grader Adam Resnick would be played by a four-foot-tall, fully adult homunculus Resnick, animated by a precocious despair, disdainful of cultural idiocy, and wearing the ever-present scowl of the perpetually put-upon. Undoubtedly, the child Resnick is father of the man Resnick. This is a very funny book, and I would pay decent money to see the movie version, or even to play it in the form of an extremely sad video game.”
—Charlie Kaufman
 
“Adam Resnick is like an artist keenly observing the subtleties of light and shadow in the world around us—painting hilariously bleak portraits of the neighbors, friends, and family that we all know and love so dearly. He’s basically our generation’s Norman Rockwell, if Norman Rockwell had ever painted a woman sucking off a horse.”
—Chris Elliott



 

Product Details

  • File Size: 1508 KB
  • Print Length: 265 pages
  • Publisher: Plume; Reprint edition (May 1, 2014)
  • Publication Date: May 1, 2014
  • Sold by: Penguin Group (USA) LLC
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B00FX7RA8K
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Word Wise: Not Enabled
  • Lending: Not Enabled
  • Enhanced Typesetting: Enabled
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #55,131 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

14 of 15 people found the following review helpful By Jennifer Cotter on May 8, 2014
Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
I've never written a review before-but I saw Adam Resnick on the Late Show and LOVED the segment and had to buy the book. David Letterman was laughing so hard (rare!) and he is right, you laugh on every page. I HIGHLY RECOMMEND this book. It is written brilliantly, like you are having a really funny conversation with a friend. A really quick, fun read. I got the hard cover book and then downloaded the kindle edition so I could read whenever I have a free moment. Can't wait to read the sequel and see the movie!!
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15 of 17 people found the following review helpful By Louis N. Gruber VINE VOICE on April 30, 2014
Format: Hardcover Vine Customer Review of Free Product ( What's this? )
Fifteen short stories (or sketches) from the life of a cynical and mildly embittered introvert. In his childhood he refuses to attend his friend's birthday parties; as a husband and father he refuses a neighbor's gift of a piano for his daughter. Whatever life throws at him, he responds by avoiding, refusing, or complaining. In one sketch he becomes obsessed with a tote bag from his favorite bookstore. In another he sneaks away from a class field trip to gawk at people with disabilities. He is not a nice person, as he freely admits, and he doesn't get much better as he moves through life.Yet, in spite of all, these little stories are funny. Well, mildly funny. Sad, too.

Author Adam Resnick has a keen wit, and manages to make absurd situations funny by taking them to outrageous extremes.

This is not great literature, but if you're looking for some witty, dark, inventive tales to pass the time, you will enjoy Will Not Attend. Not for anyone who is offended by bad language or "adult" (read, "adolescent") situations. With that reservation I can recommend this book for an afternoon's entertainment and some laughs. Reviewed by Louis N. Gruber.
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10 of 11 people found the following review helpful By Liz N. on May 8, 2014
Format: Hardcover Verified Purchase
Will Not Attend is one of those rare books where you will find yourself quoting lines to your friends. Unlike David Sedaris, where I only chuckled (on the inside), Adam Resnick's stories, made me laugh out loud! From his childhood in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania growing up in a dysfunctional house with five brothers, to his more peaceful but still not perfect life in New York City, Resnick has always marched to the beat of a different drummer. And he does not apologize for it.

If you're a fan of his writing, which I am, you will appreciate his dark, self-deprecating humor. I expected stories about his work in the film and television industry yet he completely avoided this material, and I'm glad he did. No one could make every day neurosis' so enjoyable. Whether talking about his childhood, or something that happened a few years ago, his words perfectly capture every moment.

On how much he hated school: "From the very first bell of first grade, I considered school nothing more than a hard dozen without the possibility of parole."

His opinion of eating fast food: "Only a narcissistic a******* would consider his body a temple."

His take on Disney - "A person doesn't "visit" Disney World; Disney World sucks you into its digestive tract like an anaconda swallowing a wild pig."

Resnick does not hold back. Funny, yet at times very touching, like when he writes about the birth of his daughter. Smart and entertaining, Will Not Attend, will surely become a classic.
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5 of 5 people found the following review helpful By Deanokat VINE VOICE on May 12, 2014
Format: Hardcover Vine Customer Review of Free Product ( What's this? )
"Will Not Attend: Lively Stories of Detachment and Isolation" is by far the funniest book I've read in a long time. Adam Resnick, a writer for "Late Night with David Letterman" and other outlets, doesn't like to *do* things. I can totally relate to his social anxiety and also share his dark sense of humor. Combined, those two things made this the perfect book for me. The 15 autobiographical essays/short stories in "Will Not Attend" are honest, wonderfully written, and...FUNNY!

My two favorite essays are "Playground of the Shrew"--which details a family trip to Disney World and made me happy to know I'm not the only one who thinks Disney is evil--and "Boy Refuses to Hold Frozen Turkey"--which you just have to read to appreciate.

Resnick writes in such a descriptive way that you feel like you were right there with him as these stories occurred. I found myself laughing out loud more times than I could count as I read this book from cover to cover in two sittings. There are countless funny passages in "Will Not Attend," but I think the one that made me laugh the loudest was:

(While discussing the prospect of having his picture on the front page of the local paper, holding a frozen turkey)

"...how absurd to think I'd agree to put myself on display, to allow people to see my face and read my name. Forget the embarrassment of it all; what if someone recognized me in public and said 'Hi'? Christ, I didn't want to meet anyone new. Between school and other activities beyond my control, I had enough [expletive deleted] people in my life."

I can *so* relate to that passage.

This book certainly isn't for everyone.
Read more ›
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5 of 5 people found the following review helpful By Wynn Wygal on November 18, 2014
Format: Hardcover
I love this book.* Not only is Adam Resnick hilarious but he never fails to execute his stories with a healthy dose of gravitas. I felt myself relating to a man who I, in fact, have very little in common with on paper. Resnick manages to articulate his uniquely misanthropic notions about how he sees the world in an endearing and relatable way. Every story offers a new and enticing glimpse into the life of a man who heartily claims his natural state is near-stagnation and in isolation. But we all know he's exaggerating, that is, about his sloth-like inclinations. What this book showcases so aptly is why exactly Resnick is one of the foremost comedy geniuses of our time, and how his voice has permeated the fray time and time again.

*Note here that I usually like to work my way up to my thesis but considering how little airtime consumers give to customer reviews, I felt inclined to declare my adulation for Adam Resnick's wondrous creation right off the bat.
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