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Will He Really Leave Her For Me?: Understanding Your Situation, Making Decisions for Your Happiness Paperback – October 1, 2005

22 customer reviews

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Will He Really Leave Her For Me?: Understanding Your Situation, Making Decisions for Your Happiness + Being The Other Woman: The complete handbook for every woman in love with a married man + Being The Other Woman: Who we are, what every woman should know and how to avoid us
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Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Rona B Subotnik, L.M.F.T. is a licensed marriage and family therapist in private practice.

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Product Details

  • Paperback: 224 pages
  • Publisher: Adams Media; Second Edition edition (October 1, 2005)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1593374852
  • ISBN-13: 978-1593374853
  • Product Dimensions: 5.5 x 0.6 x 8.4 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 13.9 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.1 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (22 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #351,544 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author




Who am I and Why do I Write Books on Infidelity?

I am a "people person." I am interested in the things people do and I want to understand their reasons. My interest in people led me to graduate school at Trinity College in Washington, D.C., to get my Master's Degree in Counseling Psychology. For the next nine years I worked at A Woman's Place in Montgomery County, Maryland, an awarding winning program that counseled women. I then opened a private practice and have been seeing individuals and couples for the past 27 years, specializing in marital counseling and the subject that interested me the most: Infidelity.

All the people in an affair are in pain, but what they must realize is that all affairs are not same and the differences are very important. I have written four books on this subject in which I clarify important facts about infidelity, coping with the emotional aftermath, and helping individuals restructure their lives and marriage so that they can survive, whether it is the marriage or themselves. I know from reader feedback that these books have been of enormous help to them.

I know you will find the answers to many of your questions, as well as help on the way back from Infidelity.
Good reading and good luck to you.

Rona Subotnik
www.ronasubotnik.com


Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

61 of 65 people found the following review helpful By Hera Kain on March 14, 2006
Format: Paperback
I am not an advocate of anyone having an affair with a married man but I applaud this book for dealing with these women in a non-judgmental way. Why? Because from a psychological standpoint, it's been proven that harsh reprimanding does not open a person's mind to the harm that they may have caused. Usually being reprimanded and torn down has the opposite effect and the person is spending so much time trying to defend themselves that they will eventually refuse to even admit to any wrongdoing and help fix the situation.

So it is very helpful that Rona Subotnik approaches these woman in a way that is most effective. Through different viewpoints, examples, common sense theories and offers of solutions, the author encourages the woman within the affair to see the situation for what it is - no matter what the situation may be. Because the reader doesn't feel as though she's been told off, she's more likely to absorb the information and make smarter choices in the situations she's in and those she may encounter in the future.

I too have rarely read a book that addresses the other woman and I definitely haven't seen one that

1) Points out that even the other woman may SHARE blame in the infidelity but she is not the sole cause of it. (she does this without letting the other woman completely off the hook and that is a very important factor).

2) Acknowledges that many women do not actively seek married men or seek this kind of situations out. That there's usually a reason why they've fallen or allowed this situation into their lives and how they might be able to identify that so that they can do something about it or replace their needs with a healthier situation.
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54 of 58 people found the following review helpful By AnonymousRM on April 10, 2006
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
As an avid collector of relationship books aimed at women, I think this one is excellent for its ability to treat women who find themselves in affairs with married men with sensitivity, dignity and respect. It is obvious that popular opinion is against these women, but I find it strange that none of the reviewers here has pointed the finger at the married men, who I think should bear at least half if not more of the responsibility in such situations. Women in affairs often find themselves seduced into them by circumstance, lack of perceived opportunity or lack of self esteem. I say it's high time someone treated these women like human beings instead of lining up to stone them. I think that bashing this book and the women who get involved in affairs is to blame the victims in most cases. Then again, society has been casting the first stone at such women for eons without looking in the mirror or asking who is really responsible for these situations, so this is nothing new, unfortunately.

These women need help sorting out a difficult and heart-wrenching situation that often brings them more unhappiness than happiness in the long run, and hats off to Rona Rubotnik for doing it so well. She understands that an affair can be the result of many complicated factors and that "blame" is not the issue. The correct response is to help people find their way towards happiness, whatever that means for them. The truth is that most women want a full time man who can give them a real relationship, and this book can help them realize that, and that they are most likely barking up the wrong tree if they continue in their affair. Then again, they may not be, and that is the question they seek to resolve by reading this book.
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36 of 37 people found the following review helpful By Jennifer P. Schneider on November 20, 2005
Format: Paperback
As the author of books for women whose husbands have affairs, I was very interested to read a book directed at the "other woman." In a non-judgmental and empathetic way, Rona Subotnik describes the challenges for such women, the price they pay for involvement with a married man, the potential outcomes of the relationship, and how to look at things from the perspective of their lover and his wife. The author injects realism into the fantasy of secret romance. This book is very well written, and will be very helpful to those whom Subotnik has termed "ladies-in-waiting," women who in fact spend years waiting for the happiness that they believe they will find if the man actually leaves his wife for them.
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31 of 33 people found the following review helpful By Anomyous on May 14, 2007
Format: Paperback
I wish I had read this book about 1 year ago, but maybe it wasn't the right time. I have been in a relationship (affair) for almost 2 years. It has been heart wrenching, emotional, and a test of who I am. This book really helps you to analyze who you are, why you are in this situation. And helps you to be honest about where it might be going. It is NOT a chick-lit, Lifetime kind of book. It is written by someone who has seen both sides and is not judging you for why you're here, rather trying to really help you to examine things and be strong to become happier. Anyone is this situation knows how abnormal the relationship is, despite the feelings you may have for this person. PLEASE read it if you're here, and you will be better off for doing so, no matter what comes of everything.
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9 of 9 people found the following review helpful By wiserwoman on October 24, 2006
Format: Paperback
The author absolutely understands affairs and the dynamics involved in them. More importantly; she provides sound advice to help you make a sound decision if you are involved in one. The outcome may be painful but in the end you may walk away with some self-awareness, compassion and understanding of yourself.
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