Win the Whining War & Other Skirmishes: A Family Peace Plan [Paperback]

Cynthia Whitham MSW (Author)

Book Description

ISBN-10: 0962203637 | ISBN-13: 978-0962203633 | Publication Date: January 1, 1991 | Edition: 1

This easy-to-use guide helps parents increase cooperation and reduce conflict in households with children ages two through 12. Parents learn how to eliminate the tantrums, teasing, dawdling, interrupting, and complaining that drive them crazy.

Editorial Reviews

From Library Journal

Any adult who has spent any time with a whining child knows that even an hour can drive a person crazy. Whitham, a staff therapist for the UCLA Parent Training Program, has developed successful techniques for diffusing the whining, complaining, sassy, dawdling, or annoying child. Positive reinforcement of behaviors parents like is her key: praise the act one approves of, ignore bad behavior, and set limits (clearly explained) on intolerable behavior. This book is so well presented, easy to read, positive, and chock full of ideas that even the most worn-out parents and teachers will approach their children with patience, firmness, good will, and love.
- Linda Beck, Indian Valley P.L., Telford, Pa.
Copyright 1991 Reed Business Information, Inc.

About the Author

Cynthia Whitham, MSW, is a mother of two, a practicing licensed clinical social worker who specializes in parent training, and the associate director of UCLA's Parenting and Children's Friendship Program. She is the author of "The Answer Is NO": Saying It and Sticking to It, a companion book to Win the Whining War & Other Skirmishes.

Product Details

• Paperback: 208 pages
• Publisher: Perspective Publishing; 1 edition (January 1, 1991)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0962203637
• ISBN-13: 978-0962203633
• Product Dimensions: 8.9 x 5.9 x 0.6 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1 pounds
• Average Customer Review: 4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (11 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #140,562 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

16 of 16 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Inspires Cooperation, July 28, 2003

By 

Rebecca Johnson "The Rebecca Review" (Washington State) - See all my reviews
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This review is from: Win the Whining War & Other Skirmishes: A Family Peace Plan (Paperback)

"You may have chosen to be a parent, but you did not choose to give up your mental health in the process. I believe parents have a right to no-fuss mornings, tear-free bedtimes, low stress errand-running and time for themselves." ~Cynthia Whitham

Do you want to learn how to stop: whining, tantrums, dawdling, bad language, name calling, teasing, spitting, biting, talking back, interrupting, complaining, sulking and fighting, this is your guide.

Cynthia Whitham is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker who specializes in parent training. She also gives workshops for parents, teachers and therapists. She uses the ideas in this book at home with her own children.

Cynthia makes an excellent point about children finding negative ways to get attention. She recommends complimenting the good behavior and seeing if that helps change the situation.

"The more positive attention you give, the better things get."

This is a very organized book. Not only can you organize the behaviors you love, dislike and want to stop, you can also pick them right off a nice list.

I also loved her ideas of "do say and don't say." There are things that will encourage a variety of behaviors you might not want to encourage even when you are being positive. This has to do with sibling rivalry and making a child successful at the expense of others. Being compared to your brothers and sisters just isn't fun.

You will also see the value of:

Making praise a habit.
Making Big Tasks Manageable
How to use "Ignore" to the best advantage.
Offering choices (oh, this is a good one and it works)
Making a better behaviour chart
Setting limits
Time-Out
Battle Plans

This book presents practical solutions to everyday problems. This is an excellent resource for parents, grandparents, teachers, babysitters and day care workers.

According to Cynthia, "spanking and screaming" are not options you have to engage in. You can really focus on the positive aspects and see amazing results.

Highly Recommended! 20 Stars!

~The Rebecca Review

18 of 19 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars No more fighting about cleaning rooms!, April 5, 2000

By 

Tania (United States) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Win the Whining War & Other Skirmishes: A Family Peace Plan (Paperback)

I was talking with a co-worker today about this wonderful book! We work in the mental health profession working with children every day. But when it comes to our own it's a different story. My co-worker picked up this book to help a client and realized she could use it at home! It has a wonderful piece about how to go about getting your child to clean his or her room with the arguements---who can't use tips like that!

10 of 10 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Read this before you but your child on Meds!!!!, August 9, 2004

By 

Kelly A. Grall (Camas, Washington) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Win the Whining War & Other Skirmishes: A Family Peace Plan (Paperback)

My husband and I first became familar with this book when we attened a parenting class at UCLA which Cynthia Whitham taught. It was based on the principles of this book. Our son, four, at the time was diagosed with ADHD. After appling the things we learned from Cynthia in everyday life, our son was re-tested and found not to have ADHD. I believe it's commonly misdiagosed and this book really gives you the tools to handle a child that might just need firm limits and not medication. I belive this book is a must for EVERY parent. I have recommended it and passed it on to various friends for 3 years now. If kids came with an manual this would be it!!