Wing to Wing, Oar to Oar: Readings on Courting and Marrying (Ethics of Everyday Life) [Paperback]

Amy A. Kass (Editor), Leon R. Kass (Editor)

Editorial Reviews

Review

...a wonderful anthology.... It teaches a higher form of sex education--a form that cultivates awe for the depth and breadth of marital love while showing respect for the fragility of the human heart. -- USA Today, William Mattox Jr.

Product Details

• Paperback: 636 pages
• Publisher: University of Notre Dame Press; First Edition edition (February 1, 2000)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0268019606
• ISBN-13: 978-0268019600
• Product Dimensions: 6.2 x 1.4 x 9.1 inches
• Shipping Weight: 2.3 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (11 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #70,607 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
  • #43 in Books > Religion & Spirituality > Religious Studies > Ethics

More About the Author

Amy A. Kass, Ph.D. is a Senior Fellow at Hudson Institute. Now Senior Lecturer Emeritus, for thirty years she was an award-winning teacher of classic texts in the College of the University of Chicago, where she was a Senior Fellow in the John M. Olin Center for Inquiry into the Theory and Practice of Democracy. She has served on the National Council of the National Endowment for the Humanities, as well as on the Council of Scholars of the American Academy of Liberal Education, and as a consultant on American history and civic education at the Corporation for Public Broadcasting. The author of numerous articles, she has edited four previous books: Giving Well, Doing Good: Readings for Thoughtful Philanthropists (2008); The Perfect Gift: The Philanthropic Imagination in Poetry and Prose (2002); Wing to Wing, Oar to Oar: Readings on Courting and Marrying (with Leon R. Kass, 2000); and American Lives: Cultural Differences, Individual Distinction (1995).

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

128 of 131 people found the following review helpful

4.0 out of 5 stars Wing to Wing, Oar to Oar February 2, 2000

By Mary W Taylor

Format:Paperback

> This anthology on Courting and Marrying was very interesting and bolstering of many things I knew to be right and good. The authors say that all the selections are not what they deem a single coherent traditional teaching on the subject, but that they are offered "in wisdom-seeking rather than wisdom-delivering-spirit, as writings that make us think, that challenge our unexamined opinions, expand our symnpathies, elevate our gaze, and introduce us to possibilities open to human beings in everyday life that may be undreamt of in our philosophizing." pg.19. It was eye-opening to trace the decline of courtship at the beginning of the 20th century and what the emergence of dating methods did to male and female relationships. The authors see an increased failure of marriages NOT because courting isn't done the old fashioned way but because certain elements of what makes marriages work are no longer even considered. . Largely elements that have become secondary in importance to the current all encompassing reason for marriage, ROMANTIC LOVE. Not to say that romantic love shouldn't be a factor, but that it is not necessarily the greatest or only factor. Also included are reflections on the virtue of modesty, the merit of waiting and the fulfillment of partnership and parenting. A good resource and thought provoking book.

54 of 54 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars The wisdom of the ages...or throwbacks to an earlier time? December 4, 2001

By Stephen J Holcomb

Format:Paperback

Some reviewers seem insistent that Amy and Leon Kass are stuck in a cultural and intellectual backwater, still insisting on ideas and values that are badly out of date.
Others say that Leon and Amy Kass have written the best answer to modern misunderstandings and mistakes concerning marriage and sexual relationships.

They are accused of trying to force their narrow, archaic views of the sexual nature of humanity.
They are also accused of depending strangely on ancient writings that have little 'scientific' value.

Leon and Amy Kass admit themselves that most of the writings they draw from are old--but the value of such writings is in finding what the people who wrote them have in common with modern times.
Basic facts of life--like the connection between sexuality and reproduction, the connection between monagomy and stable societies, and the connection between morality and healthy relationships--are the themes that hold this book together.
The book tends to question many modern assumptions--not for the purpose of turning back the clock, but for the purpose of finding a way to improve the future prospects in relationships, marriages, and society in general.

At no point do the editors preach to the reader. Instead, they encourage the reader to think--and to feel--and to explore the meaning of being a human being.

This book is written for college-level reading, although an intelligent high school student (one who has been trained to think for himself) can readily understand it.

72 of 74 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars A Wonderful Gift February 26, 2000

By Thomas Parker, Jr.

Format:Paperback

Amy and Leon Kass have presented a wonderful gift to parents and to their children. Parents will cherish the book's wisdom as they try to instruct their children, whether of marriageable age or younger, about the ritual (courtship) leading to the ultimate commitment (marriage). Young adults facing, it seems, a directionless world will cherish the guidance the book provides. All readers will admire the clarity and the beauty with which almost all of the many authors, including the Kass's, communicate their messages. The Kass's draw on a remarkable variety of sources, from the ancient religious (Genesis) through classical literature up to and including modern sociology. Even "Miss Manners" (Judith Martin) is cited and she has good things to say. A few of the selections are a bit difficult and may easily be skimmed, skipped or saved for a second try later. Most are easy to read and many are downright enjoyable. One selection from Tolstoy (from "War and Peace": The Courtship of Pierre and Helene) tells the reader exactly how NOT to enter into the ultimate commitment. Another (Divakaruni, "The Word Love") is truly heartbreaking as its depicts some of the consequences of a typical modern "relationship". I've already ordered copies of the book for my young adult daughters, and I'm encouraging my 10th grader (a voracious reader) to take a crack at it. Thank you, Amy and Leon Kass!