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Winning the Discipline Debates: Dr. Ray Coaches Parents to Make Discipline Less Frequent, Less Frustrating, and More Consistent Paperback – January 25, 2013


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Product Details

  • Paperback: 144 pages
  • Publisher: Servant Books (January 25, 2013)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1616364378
  • ISBN-13: 978-1616364373
  • Product Dimensions: 5.5 x 0.4 x 8.5 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 0.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.9 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (8 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #361,109 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

About the Author

<DIV>Raymond N. Guarendi, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist, speaker, and author. He has been a guest on national TV and radio programs such as Oprah, The 700 Club, and CBS This Morning. He offers parents and spouses practical help through his private practice, his books, his syndicated radio show, The Doctor Is In, and his new nationally syndicated TV series, Living Right with Dr. Ray. Dr. Ray is married, the father of ten children, and lives in Canton, Ohio.</div>

Customer Reviews

4.9 out of 5 stars
5 star
88%
4 star
13%
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See all 8 customer reviews
I really enjoyed reading this book as I could easily relate to it.
Stuart Dunn
I have four grandchildren with differing attitudes and home environments so I needed a refresher on good discipline.
B. Levich
Dr. Ray explains the advice through short scenarios that every parent has experienced.
Mark Loyet

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

11 of 11 people found the following review helpful By Carol Blank on February 3, 2013
Format: Paperback
In a video presentation on his latest work, psychologist Ray Guarendi says he would never write a book without humor. He describes Winning the Discipline Debates as an instructional, step-by-step, scripted version of what might take place if he made a house call to one of his clients and whispered advice as he observed the family dynamic. He also states the goal of Winning the Discipline Debates: to put authority into the hands of parents.

In the book's introduction Guarendi shares his view of "experts" and the proliferation of books and theories on raising children. He advises readers to look at the advice through a personal lens and to avoid giving too much credibility to any one practice or theory. Throughout the book he weighs in on such popular notions as time-outs and "counting," which rates its own chapter. I'll use that as a sample of the book's format and style.

Up for the Count, Chapter 4, features Dad and six-year-old Tarry (example of humor) at the backyard swing set near dinnertime. The "prologue" to this chapter is that counting is a way for preschoolers to show how smart they are, but counting discipline by adults isn't very smart. The scene is written as dialogue between parent and child with comments from Dr. Ray. The kid says he will come down after 10 more swings, then begins counting. Dad tells Tarry to stop counting, and Dad begins a discipline countdown. When Dad tells the kid to get off the swing NOW, and Tarry does a half-baked pretense of slowing down, Dad threatens to "start counting" again. Dr. Ray points out that Dad would probably be in the low seventies if he had continued his original count.
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6 of 6 people found the following review helpful By Stuart Dunn TOP 500 REVIEWER on March 16, 2013
Format: Paperback
Dr. Ray Guarendi is a clinical psychologist, author of numerous books on parenting, and a radio host of the show The Doctor Is In. Most importantly though, he is the father of ten. If anyone knows something about parenting and discipline, it's him.

Spanning 25 chapters, Winning the Discipline Debates walks a parent through common parental-child discipline scenarios, including temper tantrums, fighting siblings, and cell phone privileges, to name a few. Each discipline scenario is laid out in the form of a mini-play with roles. The children are cleverly named to illustrate the problem, i.e., Rip who won't get out of bed in the morning is named for Rip Van Winkle, and Tattalia is a tattler. You get the idea. He then walks you through a common problem and gives you examples of a poor way to discipline and better way to discipline. I thought I would hate this method of writing at first, but it grew on me.

The book is chronologically laid out in that it starts with kids ages 4-5 and builds up to a 16 year old. Yes, your child may exhibit discipline problems earlier or later than the ages of the the kids described in the book, but I think he did a masterful job targeting the common discipline problems for a typical age range. I really enjoyed reading this book as I could easily relate to it. I was able to look back on my childhood and see how I acted like most of these children at some point or another and also look at current peers and family members and see how they discipline compared to the book.

There is no manual on how to raise children. You'll make plenty of mistakes, especially with the first one as you are still learning how to be a parent. However, this 5 star book gives you a leg up on one of the harder aspects of parenting.
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5 of 5 people found the following review helpful By Mark Loyet on May 23, 2013
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
I am a juvenile probation officer and I have dealt with hundreds of kids who were never disciplined when they were young. That being said, in my humble opinion, this is an excellent book plain and simple. Gives some great straight forward advice but not by just preaching to the reader. Dr. Ray explains the advice through short scenarios that every parent has experienced. It’s very readable, funny and easy to remember the point of each chapter. I'd say this is a must read for every parent. Especially since we live in an age where discipline is almost nonexistent.
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful By carold114 on March 21, 2013
Format: Paperback
"Winning the Discipline Debates" is a handbook of sorts where Dr. Ray "coaches parents to make discipline less frequent, less frustrating and more consistent." Using his characteristic humor and no-nonsense style, Dr Ray lays out typical various scenarios in dialogue format then re-states the situation with suggestions on how to respond.

For example, Chapter 11 is "I'm Honest, Honest" which deals with lying. Dr Ray sets the actors (dad, eleven year old, seven year old, etc), the scene (in this case the bedroom) and time (which in this case is bedtime). Then he gives a typical conversation and example of how most parents would handle the situation. After that he gives an epilogue where he explains the situation and offers a different tactic in dealing with the child(ren).

This book is very insightful and helpful. There were so many situations that I found myself laughing about because I have been through them with Andrew (he has a knack for avoiding bedtime at all costs!). And although I read this book from cover to cover for this review, you don't have to do that at all. You can easily skip from situation to situation as they pertain to your family. Or, you can read it straight through - you will get a lot out of the book either way.

A big thanks to the Catholic Company for providing me with a complimentary copy of "Winning the Discipline Debates" to read and review.
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