Customer Reviews

Winning Him Without Words: 10 Keys to Thriving in Your Spiritually Mismatched Marriage

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"We are ordinary women and ordinary wives just like you. And, just like you, we believe that Jesus is the Son of God and our redeemer. OUR HUSBANDS DO NOT."

With that sentence, Lynn Donovan and Dineen Miller hooked me on an exciting new read, one that had me examining--and improving--my marriage, though I'm in a thriving believers' union. Did you hear that? THIS BOOK WILL improve your marriage...whether your husband presently believes or not.

In concise yet poignant prose, Lynn Donovan and Dineen Miller have written a book to yank you from the doldrums of a mismatched marriage...or a marriage that needs the Living Water of Jesus Christ.

Would you rather thrist and claw in the sand land of he said, he won't, he can't that marriage often becomes? If so, DON'T read "Winning Him Without Words!"

Armed with the Living Water, Christ Jesus, the Great Counselor, The Holy Spirit, and God's scriptural sword, Donovan and Miller trumpet you to victory through a part how-to guide, part Bible study, part fascinating memoir of their own unique faith journeys. In fact, Lynn and Dineen share from desert times so you can drink deep from the oasis that God intended marriage to be.

Ten thought-provoking chapters probe at marital battlefields and answer those questions you were afraid to ask, then ask you the questions you really need to answer. I LOVED this discovery aspect and chapter-ending prayer of commitment.

It's not often I put down novels or research material to venture into personal growth or women's issue books, but this is one venture that was well worth every minute!

I do have one suggestion: I would purchase the paperback version rather than the Kindle (learn from my mistake, okay?) The resource materials, chapter-ending questions, and the study group nature can be more easily shared and set near your prayer chair. Believe me, you'll be flipping back through THIS book time and time again.

GET READY for an extraordinary trek, folks! May this only be the beginning of a great ministry!

Unequally yoked marriages are something all counselors encounter in session. We are trained to bring up the "hot button" issues like children, finances, and faith during premarital counseling because differences in key areas like these can lead to marital disharmony. In essence, therapists operate on the assumption that it's better to know ahead of time if you and your partner don't see eye-to-eye, so you can get a head start on resolving the issues instead of being blindsided by them later.

But what if faith wasn't an issue when you first married? What if you came to a saving knowledge later in life and your spouse didn't? Or what if you shunned your faith values for a period, got married, and then came back to your faith?

Authors Lynn Donovan and Dineen Miller wrote their book Winning Him Without Words in an attempt to answer questions just like these, because they found themselves in the scenarios mentioned above.

Both authors are so candid throughout the book that I never felt like this was just another Christian self-help book. These are real women, struggling with real issues, who don't claim to have all the answers. They do, however, claim to know the One who does. Despite years or praying for their husband's salvation, both Lynn and Dineen found certain principles to help their marriage thrive instead of wither and die.

As a counselor, I wanted to take note of the 10 keys that helped them, and I'm so glad I did, because now I have a book to whole-heartedly recommend to clients facing similar life circumstances. Women everywhere will be able to relate to the yearning both women disclose they have for their husbands to accept Christ, because if we haven't prayed for our husband's salvation, then we've prayed for a change in our husband's attitudes or actions. All married women feel alone in their marriage at some point, and these principles Lynn and Dineen offer are solid ways to bring about real connection.

In fact, one of the keys presented was to Stay Connected. In order to do this, Lynn joined a fantasy football league with her husband, even though she knew nothing about football. Dineen started playing disc golf. Yes, it required sacrifice of time and maybe even some of their own desires, but both marriages enriched from it. This is a great takeaway for women everywhere.

Donovan's/Miller's book "Winning Him Without Words" is an encouraging book that will help not only unequally yoked couples, but all couples. The book is written from the heart, which you can feel in every word. God is in the center of the authors' marriages and they trust God for their husbands salvation. Donovan and Miller not only talk the talk, they walk it in obedience to God.

Each Sunday there are women who sit alone because they are married to a husband who isn't yet a believer. I can't imagine what that must feel like. To know that the person I love so much hasn't accepted Christ. To know that as much as I pray and as much I try to live a life that will lead him to Christ, he still hasn't made that decision. Lynn and Dineen are not only authors, but wives who have lived this life. They write from a place of knowledge and compassion.

Lynn and Dineen encourages wives to remember these very important things:

You are not alone! You have Christ in your life and that enables you to view your husband as the amazing man that God created regardless of the differences in your spiritual life right now.

It is not your job to save your husband. That is Jesus's job. Only his blood can cleanse his sins just like they did yours. Giving that job back over to the rightful owner will give you a lot of peace.

You need to keep your spiritual armor polished. You are living the life of a missionary every day in your home.

Use God's Word. Pray Scripture into your home and over your husband's life.

Your goal is not just to survive, but to thrive!

Although my husband is a Christian, I still was reminded so much of how to be a good Christian wife to my husband. I am so glad that I have this book as a resource to give to friends who need support and encouragement.

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from Regal. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission's 16 CFR, Part 255 <[...]l> : "Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising."

"Un-equally yoked" - what does this mean anyway? A terma widely used within the church but I don't think totally explained.

In this book the authors address this very thing: A marriage that has one person without faith convictions and one that has these convictions.

For the spouse who has come to the saving knowledge of Christ after marriage or the one who has grown spiritually since the marriage this book offers insight and encouragement.

The candid and open writing makes this book an easy read. Within the pages a person can find encouragement to continue doing what the bible has instructed us to do - win our spouse by our actions. Through practical applications and lots of scripture the reader is given new tools to use.

I was very excited as a Pastor's wife and Women's Ministry Leader to get this book. I can't wait to pass it on to ladies in my church and in our community. I think that God will move in mighty ways as more wives read this material and study more deeply the scriptures. This book is not a fix all from man's perspective but rather depends fully upon the scriptures.

Thanks to Gospel Light for this review copy.

I may not be in a spiritually mismatched marriage myself, but I know lots of women who are and this book could be a marriage saving tool for so many of them. It could also be the tool that eventually turns that spiritual mismatch into a match. This book is easy to read and full of real life examples that make it very engaging. Lynn and Dineen really bare their souls as they go through their personal experiences and what they have learned. I personally found it wonderful just as a refresher on important things in a marriage (your husband needs and deserves your respect...) for me personally as well. Though this book may seem to have a limited audience who will really be able to appreciate it, every marriage could learn a lot from this little gem.

I gave a copy to my church for the pastor who counsels on marriage. What we both loved was that these women are talking from the trenches. They give practical ways to love their unbelieving husbands. Good solid Biblical teaching, encourages, inspires, and give hope those in mismatched marriages.

This book is a must read for anyone struggling at all in a spiritually mismatched marriage! It will change your life! I highly recommend it for any marriage, really. The principles are universal. What is amazing about this book is that the Ten Keys will not only improve any marriage, they will bring you closer to God. When I started this book I was hoping for tips to help me SURVIVE a spiritual mismatch. What I came away with were tips for helping me thrive and possibly have an even deeper and stronger relationship with my King than I might were I on an easier path. I can assure you from experience, spiritual mismatch is not easy. But could it be an environment out of which you emerge an even stronger warrior for Jesus than if you had an easier path? Only God knows, but I'm telling you this book will take you one step closer!!! LOVED IT!!! Thank you Lynn & Dineen!

Lynn and Dineen have shared from their hearts many moments that will resound with those in mismatched marriages...isolation, anger, and bitterness can be changed to communion, forgiveness, and hope-filled love...

With tears and laughter, these two ladies point the way to the ONLY WAY to thrive in our marriages...

My only regret is not having this book years earlier...

This is an excellent book about a topic that needs our attention:

Women in marriages that are a 'spiritual mismatch' -- she believes

and practices her faith, he does not or will not believe.

Churches across North America are filled with women --- attending

solo despite being married --- who need this book! Many of these

faithful women bring their children to Sunday School and worship,

teaching and training their kids about God and His precepts.

Meanwhile, the husband and father in the home does not contribute.

Where do we go from here?

Writing with honesty, transparency, and real-life drama, the two

authors of this book share their own journeys and give practical,

wise advice to women who are living in this same situation.

As family counselors who often work in church settings and with

believing couples, we affirm the usefulness of this book.

Buy one for yourself --- and for any wife you know who is

living in a spiritually mismatched marriage.

Dr. David & Lisa Frisbie

The Center for Marriage & Family Studies