Customer Reviews

Winning with People: Discover the People Principles that Work for You Every Time

5 star:		(22)
4 star:		(8)
3 star:		(4)
2 star:		(1)
1 star:		(1)

 

 

Winning With People takes the reader on a 360-degree tour of our interactions with other people. The book is built around five questions designed to stimulate self-reflection. This helps us see ourselves as others see us and to see them as valuable even when we do not agree or understand them. I suspect almost anyone can find something, perhaps many things, in this book to help them grow in interpersonal skills. Maxwell insists that we be authentic and even sacrificial in our relationships to get along with others. He is absolutely right to instruct us that meeting someone half-way simply is not good enough. If we value the other person (and why shouldn't we?) half-way is just a half hearted approach and the other person will eventually perceive our lack of care towards them.

Maxwell helped me see most of our relational problems are in ourselves. I must take ownership of my shortcomings and strive to correct them. Along with my own housecleaning I must learn to build healthy relationships with others accepting that they too have housecleaning needs they may or may not ever address. Failure in either area on my part (housecleaning or skills building) can quickly destroy relationships I am currently blessed with. The first priority is learning how not to destroy relationships (get the beam out of my own eye), then learn to build good ones.

Maxwell's straightforward style reaches out to everyone using interpersonal examples from sports, pastoring, business, gangsters, marriage, Abraham Lincoln and other great leaders. Also, if you like to collect great quotes as I do, you will find dozens of good ones here (several from honest Abe).

I enjoyed reading the book but I have a few bones to pick that might bother some readers more or less so than they did me. At times I find Maxwell's approach superficial, too much cheerleading and not enough deep reflection. For example, some of the techniques for building up self esteem in others when you know practically nothing about them (p 92-95) strike me as insincere manipulation - calling it sincere doesn't make it so. I also detect some deep underpinnings of consumerism (more is always better) in how Maxwell gauges success. He often refers to who has the largest church attendance or how much the sales grew or other materialistic metrics to indicate success. For example a church with 15,000 members is referred to as being in the top 1% of churches in the country (p212) but no other success criteria are mentioned. In the top 1% by whose standards? Not mine, I don't think the Bible encourages that definition of success. I trust Maxwell is using this as just one convenient guidepost for success, but frankly his writing makes me wonder. I think it is a rather poor way to introduce the success of a church or pastor. These kind of quantitative - grow-baby-grow type examples are common throughout the book. Personally, I think hyper materialism/capitalism is fueling many of our relationship problems. I'm not comfortable having it sprinkled throughout a book on improving relationships.

Finally, there are a few areas where trying to actually adopt what is recommended would drain you in every area of life. P224 recommends: "care more than other think is wise, risk more than others think is safe, dream more than others think is practical, expect more than others think is possible, work more than others think is necessary". Maxwell's point is to live up to our highest ideals, but if I take this advice literally I am likely to damage relationships, not improve them because I'll be utterly exhausted in every area of my life - especially spiritually. If I am not to take it literally then it is just cheerleading to inspire me while I read the book. Perhaps I missed the point, but I don't find this helpful past the initial moment of inspiration.

As you can see I have mixed feelings about the book, but I do recommend it for those who want to be led into some useful self-reflection/emotional inventory for improving relationships.

According to John C. Maxwell, author of WINNING WITH PEOPLE
"Our ability to build and maintain
human relationships is the single most important factor in how we get
along--in every area of our life."

Maxwell shows how this can be done in this book in this, his latest book,
provided that you use the 25 people principles that he clearly presents.

In reading it, I felt like I had in front of me an updated version HOW
TO WIN FRIENDS AND INFLUENCE PEOPLE--the Dale Carnegie
classic . . . what makes WINNING so valuable was the fact that it
has many examples that can be applied to any aspect of our work
lives; e.g., this one:

The best way to keep from stepping on other people's toes is to put
yourself in their shoes. In the 1930's, American Airways, which later
became American Airlines, had a tremendous problem with complaints
from passengers about lost luggage. LaMotte Cohn, general manager
of the airline at that time, tired to get his station managers to overcome
this issue, but he saw little progress. Finally he came upon an idea
to help the airline's personnel to see things from their customers' points
of view. Cohn asked all of the station managers from across the country
to fly to company headquarters for a meeting. Then he made sure that
every manager's luggage was lost in transit. Afterward, the airline
suddenly made a huge leap of efficiency in that area.

I also liked how Maxwell used humor to make other points, such as
in the case with this story:

A middle-aged man entered a cocktail lounge and walked directly
to the bar. "Do you have anything that will cure hiccups?" he asked the
bartender. Without a word, the bartender reached down under the bar,
picked up a wet bar rag, and slapped the man across the face with it.

"Hey! What's the idea?" the astonished man said.

The bartender smiled. "Well, you don't have hiccups anymore,
do you?" he asked.

"I never did," the man replied. "I wanted something to cure my wife.
She's out in the car."

Do you come to conclusions long before the problem has been laid
out before you? That is a common occurrence for most of us who
have strong personalities. That's why I have trained myself to follow a
process to keep me from hammering people with answers before they've
finished asking the question. When someone is sharing his point of view
with me, I try to . . .

listen,
ask questions,
listen again,
ask more questions,
listen some more,
then respond.

Lastly, WINNING WITH PEOPLE taught me much about how to
improve how to improve communication with loved ones . . . here's still another idea that I picked up from
reading this excellent book:

Several years after Margaret and I were married, I realized that when
I got home to see her, there was no excitement in our communication.
She'd ask about what had happened during the day, and I wasn't very
enthusiastic about what had happened during the day, and I wasn't
very enthusiastic about discussing it. Then I figured out why: during
the course of most days, I had shared the most exciting events with
a colleague or my assistant. So I was not all that excited about
repeating it to Margaret. I knew that needed to change. My solution?
Whenever something important or exciting happens during the day,
I jot a note about it on a three-by-five card. And then I don't tell other
people about it; I save it for the end of the day. That way, Margaret is
the first to hear about it, and she is the recipient of my enthusiasm.

This was the first book I've read by John Maxwell and I must say I was very impressed with this book. "Winning With People" identifies several strategies that you can use to help improve all of your relationships including business, marriage, and friendships.

Each chapter starts out with a story that illustrates the point for the chapter, which is then followed with a point-by-point description of each principle. John Maxwell also includes a variety of personal experiences he has had (including several failures and hard lessons) which makes it easy to identify with him.

I honestly could not find anything bad to say about this book. The organization, delivery, and style is flawless.

Full of quotes, references to other books, and just plain good advice, I highly recommend this book to anyone wanting to improve their relationships. 5 out of 5 stars.

First of all I want to confess that I am John Maxwell junkie. I not only thoroughly enjoy his books but they help me in becoming a better person.

This book is written where every chapter is golden and yet able to stand alone. You can simply open the book to any chapter and it will enrich you. Even though the chapters are segmented into 5 logical sections.

I especially liked the chapter entitled, "The Pain Principle: Hurting people hurt people and are easily hurt by them". This chapter increased my empathy and sensitivity for hurting people. It just makes sense that those that lash out are really hurting people.

I gave this book 4 stars simply because his best work by far was, "21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership".

As helpful as this book was I simply tried to read a chapter each evening before going to sleep. Like a nutritious light snack that won't keep you up all night.

The author begins with asking the reader to do a self examination to determine "what is happening within us". Often, this is a key
to what motivates us and the rationale behind our actions and
choices. Next, he espouses the value of selecting win/win options or scenarios in order to gain greater consent. The author advises us to hire fewer people with greater potential and capacity for sustained work/ contribution to the enterprise. Service is espoused as an important value because it is the hallmark for attracting and retaining valued customers. Relationships are "cultivated" over longer time periods rather than the short term. The notion of cultivation implies a steady but certain incremental development of clients and employees which will make permanency more probable. It is important
to understand and have empathy with people in order to cultivate
relationships for the longer term. Lastly, the author asks that we "raise the bar" of our own personal standards both
qualitatively and quantitatively. The work provides us with
the basics, as well as the fine nuances with regard to winning with people. This book is a bit more structured than the
Andrew Carnegie works; however, the themes and ultimate objectives have substantial congruency.

In "Winning with People" by John C. Maxwell, the author intends to provide a reference for building and improving relationships. Doing so, according to Maxwell, requires that we first look at ourselves in order to determine if we are really ready to develop relationships. In essence, the first step to improving relationships is to realize that often our relationship problems originate within ourselves. Once we have moved beyond what is holding us back from succeeding in relationships, we can move on to developing them by investing in people with interest and trust.

There are many good ideas in this book for developing relationships. However, the ideas will seem somewhat recycled. If you have read Dale Carnegie's book on influencing people, there won't be much new for you in this book. In fact, I got a sense of deja vu from reading this book. About the only thing new is Maxwell's stories of how he dealt with relationships as a pastor, which if you are thinking of reading this book for business purposes, will not add much to what Carnegie has already said.

Like all John Maxwell books, this book is full of some not-so-common common sense that will improve your relationships and leadership skills if you take the author's advice to heart. This book is simple and straightforward, making it easy to read and understand. The principles described in this book focus specifically on communicating, working with, learning from, and investing in others. What may be the most helpful aspect of the book is the series of questions Maxwell poses to at the end of each chapter to help the reader ponder and reflect where they stand on a particular attribute or skill. The ideas are not necessarily new, but they are wise. Stories and quotes from other people's lives are sprinkled throughout Maxwell's own thoughts and experiences, creating a well-rounded narrative as to how to improve yourself. The bottom line is this: No matter what we do or why we do it, life is about people, and this book will help you do whatever you do better.

Winning With People is a wealth of excellent people skill principles, great for learning and for review. Many of the principles have names or titles that act as a "hook": an aid in remembering them.

Though I don't recognize Wayne Shepherd from any particular program, he does sound like a familiar voice, and has done radio for 30-some years. The reading on this audio book is done well and enjoyable to listen to. I didn't have an expectation of hearing the author's voice, so this did not turn me off in the least.

I very much enjoyed what I learned through this audio book. I found it challenging and inspiring me toward growth in this important area of relating to people. As the author states in the book: the entire world, with one exception, is made up entirely of "others".

This review is of the abridged audio book.

People have said that these ideas are old and not new. Thats probably true. But this is the best collection of ideas on how to deal with people successfully. Written much better than Dale Carnegies original. This is the best one out there on interpersonal relationships. Another good one is Leil Lowndes 92 tricks. She has excellent ideas and specific things to do with people. Winning with people is more about the mindset and the psychology. While 92 tricks is more physiological recommendations. Good luck

Author John C. Maxwell follows his solid 17 Indisputable Laws of Teamwork with this book, which provides 25 essential "principles" for fostering interpersonal relationships. Maxwell uses poems, quotations and stories about such varied individuals as Benjamin Franklin, Martin Luther King Jr., Dale Carnegie, Barbara Walters, Pete Rose and Billy Martin to enliven his short chapters about the small, important steps that build better relationships. Unfortunately, the book seems slightly forced, stretching its theme to cover overlapping and somewhat arbitrary principles. Still, its broadly based, motivational stories make it spiritually uplifting. While this entry is not as compelling as Maxwell's work on leadership, we believe it will be very useful to those who want to build stronger friendships and aren't sure how to start.