Customer Reviews

Winning Through Intimidation

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Full confession - I never meant to take Robert J. Ringer's "Winning Through Intimidation" seriously. On a recent visit to my parents house I found a tattered, 30-year-old hardcover edition of this book on a dusty bookshelf in the storage room. The corny title caught my eye, so I grabbed it, thinking it might be fun to read for a laugh.

It wasn't just the age of the book that I figured would make it ripe for comedy (though I do wonder if Ringer's message to women that they too could use his philosophies and strategies - to "sell" themselves as wife material to a man - has been edited out of more recent editions). It is the fact that I find most sales technique books to be hilariously bad. I almost always find myself questioning whether the authors have ever worked a day in sales in their lives, since most such books offer advice that would only work if A) every client you ever dealt with was a complete and total moron and/or B) your clients just happen to follow the hypothetical "scripts" included in most of these books word for word.

Imagine my surprise to find that "Winning Through Intimidation" (which is a misnomer, "Winning Through Not Letting Yourself GET Intimidated" is a more appropriate, if less colorful, title) is filled with great fundamental, common sense advice for anyone in the field of sales. It is obvious that Ringer has spent a great deal of time in the trenches - he accurately points out many common mistakes made by salespeople (spending WAY too much time on a particular account because it makes you feel busy, as opposed to because the account will realistically ever actually buy anything, not realizing the importance of having all agreements with clients in writing and keeping a paper trail of your communications, believing that your client is ever going to have YOUR best interest at heart, thinking that "closing the deal" is the end-all-be-all goal of sales, when actually *getting paid* is far more important). This would be a great book to give to a person new to the field of sales to insure that he or she only develops good habits. I question how "useful" this book is to the more experienced salesperson, only because if a salesperson hasn't already realized through experience that the philosophies and techniques from this book are valid, then they are probably beyond help.

Some potential readers of this excellent book (I first read it in
1976) will, as Ringer says, come away thinking they've just read a book about how to sell real estate. Others will never read the book since they will be turned off by the title.

This book is a book about how to deal with life: rationally, reasonably, and dynamically. It's a book about dealing with life's challenges and problems, and most importantly, about how to find yourself in the business world.

All these years later, I still find myself referring to one of Ringer's theories, and applying them in the everyday business world. They are as true today as they ever were.

Highly recommended.

I love reading success books. I have read alot of them in my time, and I have a pile of the very current success books on my night table, ready for me to start reading them as soon as I get to them. Yes, I love reading these books, but I have learned to take the advice these books give with a grain of salt. Most of these books are filled with the "serve the customer" and "give the other guy what he wants and he'll give you everything you want" philosophy. This philosophy sounds good in theory. However, out in the real-world business jungle I have found that by the time the other guy gets what he wants he has forgotton your name!
Then along comes Robert Ringer with this classic book. Unlike all the other success books I have ever read, this book tells it like it is. Ringer points out in this book that whether you and I like it or not, the world of business is not played on a nursery school playground. It is played in a brutal jungle where the name of the game is to finish with the most chips(money) in your lap. You either accept this reality and play the game to win,or get out of the business game altogether.
Ringer also takes on the two cornerstones of most success books--"postitive thinking" and "working hard". Ringer's philosophy demolishes these two traditional theories.
If you're used to positive thinking, new-age, give and give to the other person and hope you're going to be paid in the end kind of book, then Winning Through Intimidation isn't for you. However, if you're tired of losing, buy this book and read it ten times.

Many people seeing the title of this book would think that it teaches you to succeed by being boorish and overbearing. But that is not what the author means.

Ringer was just getting started in real estate when he discovered that bankers and property owners would not treat him with respect, despite the value of his services, because he was "only a broker." So he set out to present himself and what he did in a different light. He became the "mysterious expert from afar," amazing lenders and principals with his well trained staff, detailed presentations, calm manner, refusal to accept last-minute fee reductions, use of an attorney at closings, and, eventually, his own Lear jet.

He was still the same person, offering the same services. But suddenly, fewer people were attempting to defraud him of the fees he had earned for his services, or otherwise treat him dishonestly.

Ringer realized that these lessons learned in real estate could apply to many business situations and, indeed, to any situation in life where you have to deal with others.

He offered the book to several publishers, most of whom would not touch it, so he finally published it himself, and it became a runaway best seller.

"Winning Through Intimidation" may seem amoral to some, but read closely, it is really an interesting account of a "little guy's" successful effort to make the "big guys" take him seriously and treat him honorably in their dealings with him. It is well worth reading and its lessons should be pondered.

No - this book won't teach you how to act like a jerk to get what you want. But it will tell you how you could be backstabbed by jerks, and that other people will put you first before themselves, and your interests first.

At first glance it may appear that the book is essentially negative in tone and outlook. After all, it tells you that people are basically rotten to the core, will 'do' you to get ahead, and do so with no compunctions, remorse, or apologies. I.e., these people are the intimidators. You are the intimidatee. That the only way to counter this to become an intimidator yourself. To get the advantage you need by dressing right, by acting like you know it, and by impressing people into submission. Shock-and-awe. That's not really the kind of message that we need to learn, right?

But look at the other side also. The author says that this is reality. He insists that this is the real world, and if we ignore this reality, we do so at our own peril. We may not like it, we may not accept it, and we do not need to respond to it, but we do so at considerable risk to our financial and emotional well-being. The author also makes it clear that you do need to follow up on the dressing and the talking with action. You need to put in the hard work to be prepared. And mostly, the author tries to put it across to the reader that you need to be paid for your efforts. Attaboy, great job, well done, you're a star, amazing work - praise is fine, but it doesn't pay the bills. If you work, make sure you get paid. The book's tone may appear negative, but the message, I believe, I submit, is essentially positive.

The earlier chapters are by far the most enjoyable and educational. Each of the author's learning experiences is presented in the form of a lesson taught by a 'professor' at a school, 'Screw U.'. Yes.

"...Closing deals is not the name of the game; it's only a means to an end. ... In every area of life-whether business or personal-getting paid is the bottom line."

How do you intimidate? Why do you intimidate? The answer to the second question is easy. To win. If you treat the game as a zero-sum game, wherein if the other guy gets ten rupees, it means ten rupees less for you, then it is clear that you have to win to make sure those ten rupees land in your wallet and not the other person's. As for the first question, the answer is you intimidate by pretending to have an attribute of superiority over your opponent.

"At the top of the list of master intimidators disguised as (self anointed) saints are chest-pounding critics, syndicated columnists, and TV commentators, ever on the alert for an opportunity to seize the moral high ground." [page 2]

Work is not its own reward.

"Like millions of other people, I, too, fell into the trap of believing that my great reward would ultimately come if I just focused on working hard and displaying a positive mental attitude." [page 7]
"I myself had a masochistic tendency to focus on the other person,s best interest, particularly in business dealings, naively clinging to the belief that my benevolent attitude would be appreciated and that I would be handsomely rewarded." [page 17]

If someone cheats you, is he being dishonest? Per the author, honesty and dishonesty are RELATIVE.
"I now understood that a person could only be honest or dishonest relative to the facts in a given situation, or relative to some individual's personal moral standards." [page 19]
"Note that I did not say that honesty is not relevant, but that a discussion of honesty is not relevant." [page 21]
"I had long before concluded that all members of the Discouragement Fraternity had two things in common: (1) Because they were insecure, they feared competition, and (2) they were ferocious about protecting their turf.
...
Battles are for ego-trippers; wars are for money-grippers." [page 27]

When it comes to winning, usually the person who is the best equipped to win shall win. That may mean the person who is the most knowledgeable, or the most skilled. Right? Yes, sort of. Because, as the author contends, people will often pretend to be something they aren't. Learn to recognize this.

"Don't allow yourself to be intimidated by someone else's knowledge-or apparent knowledge." [page 35]

The second type are the most dangerous, so to say.

"...spent an inordinate amount of time expounding on the virtues of dealing only with people who possessed buckets of integrity and the highest ethical standards-like himself, for example-an almost sure sign that the person with whom you are speaking is a rapist, murderer, or/ worst of all, an unethical real estate developer." [page 64]

How do you succeed? By sheer dint of work. Right? Well... maybe.

"If one aspires to great accomplishments/ he must recognize that the quickest way to the top is not by fighting his way through the pack, but by leapfrogging over it." [page 87]

Image is everything.

"It's not what you say or do that counts, but what your posture is when you say or do it." [page 89]

Do you really care what people think about you? Because if you do, then be prepared for penury.
"Being liked was not much of a reward for being poor and disrespected. By the same token, money and respect were more than enough consolation for having a pack of insecure neurotics dislike me." [page 93]

"In every area of life-whether business or personal-getting paid is the bottom line. If you think this applies only to real estate brokerage, you missed the book. In that event/ return to page one immediately and start reading again-slowly this time." [page 223]

For those raised by the golden rule who just seem to get chewed up by conniving, dishonest sharks. Especially insightful is the discussion of the passive-aggressive wolf in sheep's clothing who is just as amoral as the shark but manages to justify its actions to maintain its "nice" self-image. This is the most direct, plain-speaking and useful book of its kind.

This book has nothing to do with bullying or overbearing behavior and everything to do with establishing value and defending that value. Ringer explains how you can hang onto the values that you believe in while recognizing the signs of a con up front. Most importantly, he presents practical, concise truisms which teach you the judo you need to prevent being taken advantage of.

If you believe that closing your eyes makes the problems go away, then this book isn't for you. If you're looking for misty-eyed psychobabble, this isn't it. This book should be required reading in schools because it isn't about drifting through how you wish the world was, it's about paying attention and dealing with the way the world *is*. IT WORKS.

As long as there are victims, there will be sharks. Here's to Robert Ringer helping to reduce the food supply.

It was first published in 1973, it has been continuously in print ever since, and it will be around for a long time to come. Because it's simple, it's brilliant, and it has a great title -- alright, I take a bit of that back

It's true that the author's background and focus is on one-time transactions (big-ticket sales), whereas ongoing relationships are more important in life. It's also true that many people would find this book pedestrian or brash or both. Nevertheless, the book is a masterpiece of assertiveness training self-help. I still have "the theory of reality" and "the theory of intimidation" in my soul even though it's been many years since I read it.

As everyone who's read it agrees, it's not about intimidating others, it's about not being intimidated yourself. The most pervasive intimidations are based on generally accepted values, expectations and pecking orders in a community. There are situations where you can and should act contrary to those things, but it takes some boldness. The book presents the advantages of boldness while stressing the necessity of always looking at the situation's realities as acutely as possible. It shows that deliberate analysis of realities is fundamental to success -- which ought to be obvious, but I wasn't doing it before I read the book (except unconsciously & partially). I especially recommend it for the young and the unprestigious.

ringer, is what i needed especially as a young african-american male whose been affiliated w/ so much hogwash in my life. but the biggest hogwasher has truly been myself. i "don" self-helped myself crazy. my room is filled w/ many books addressing "life" issues and how to make the best of life. but cloud nine usuaslly last a few days before i'm back in the dumps. i know i need counseling but i can't afford it, so i go on with this up and down manner until.
but winning through intimidation has provided for me key and sound lessons, straight w/ no chaser. i read the book from cover to cover in three days, and was spellbound. the lessons are more biblical than sinister. they really boil down to girding up courage, while staying away from the "meaniningless" things which divert attention away from the things that will provide stability in your life. he cautions readers not to be swayed by appearance but stick to what you believe even when the fire is turned up. nothing really new, but hey often forgotten.

I really enjoyed this book... at first. I got the impression that this book was just about not letting others intimidate you, but on further reading, it became very apparent that his focus was on turning the tables. It was like, screw you before you screw me. The book did a great job of defining the three types of intimidators, and how to avoid being intimidated by them, but focused only on the authors experiences. Long before reading this book, I read 'Million Dollar Habits', also by Robert J. Ringer. That book was fantastic. This book didn't measure up, it was mean-spirited and vengeful in comparison. It was a good book on dealing with dishonest businessmen, and is a good book for anybody in the business world.

In all the self-help books read, I believe this is by far the best. It's a practical guide to how to get through this thing called life and profit from it. All it takes it perspective, patience and a watchful eye of one's enviornment, socio-economically. It's an old one, cheap and still it's lessons are current and useful.

Buy this book and don't neglect to read Looking out for Number 1. That's the book I'm on now.