Customer Reviews

Wired for Conflict: The Role of Personality in Resolving Differences

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Like 'beauty is in the eye of the beholder', we all 'hear' things differently and respond to them according to our type. This book explains not only our hereditary tendencies for what sparks conflict and our automatic reactions to and approaches to resolving conflict, but what is viewed as a satisfactory resolution. We all have our potential blind spots and the book has tips and quick reference guides for us to use, as well as information about body language and a seven step model for recognizing and resolving conflict based on knowledge of psychological type which helps us to understand ourselves and others better.

The book begins with a quote from Isabel Myers who developed the MBTI for discovering our psychological types, "All too often, others with whom we come in contact do not reason as we reason, or do not value the things we value, or are not interested in what interests us", and these are some of the common causes of conflict. I highly recommend this book for anyone who wishes to handle conflict intelligently and come to a win/win harmonious solution.

Nancy Silcox

MBTI Practitioner

I'm a big fan of MBTI and usually devour MBTI-related books when I have a chance to read them. In contrast, I had difficulty getting engaged in this book and and even more difficult time finishing it. There weren't many "aha" moments as a read -- so I'm not sure all of the concepts sank in.

The book is relatively short (100 pages), but the pages are densely-packed. The author assumes that the reader has a fairly good grasp of MBTI and therefore, doesn't spend much time describing MBTI basics; she focuses on type in conflict from the beginning.

The book offers a seven-step process for conflict resolution and provides examples of this process in action. This process would no doubt be useful in a formal, facilitated mediation, but I had difficulty seeing how it would work in a less formal setting. Absent a third-party facilitator, or an "ideal" conflict situation where the conflicted parties are self-aware, open-minded, trained in conflict resolution, and sufficiently calm and disciplined to follow the process, I don't see how this can work effectively.

I did find interesting the discussion of how certain types react to stress, and how certain situations cause persons to exaggerate certain preferences -- conflict often makes introverts retreat, and become more introverted. Certain types of conflict can cause extraverts to move toward introversion, others exacerbate the extraversion.

This is a useful reference tool, but I doubt it will be one of my go-to books on conflict resolution. I would recommend it if you already have a good grasp of MBTI and are looking to learn more about how to apply MBTI principles to conflict resolution in the workplace.