Customer Reviews

The Wisdom of Forgiveness: Intimate Journeys and Conversations

5 star:		(17)
4 star:		(7)
3 star:		(4)
2 star:		(1)
1 star:		(2)

 

 

Imagine for a moment that you have a good friend who just happens to be in the Dalai Lama's inner circle of friends. Now imagine that you have the opportunity to spend time with this friend, hearing about his travels and conversations with His Holiness, relishing every minute detail.

This is the feel that I got while reading Victor Chan's book. He presents a very personal account of his time spent with the Dalai Lama, unlike other books that tend to be more academic or intellectual. As a result, the reader is able to see the Dalai Lama in a different light. It's like viewing Mount Fuji from an angle different from the picture postcard; still the same beautiful mountain but with new angles and lines.

Some of Chan's descriptions border on the unbelievable. Did His Holiness really say that about the gun? And did he really say that about wanting to exact revenge on the Chinese soldier (if a certain situation arose)? And did His Holiness really say that to Oprah? These passages give "The Wisdom of Forgiveness" its uniqueness and color.

Some readers may criticize Chan's personal descriptions, especially his focus on his Chinese ancestry and how ironic that he, of all people, has become a close friend of His Holiness. I was not bothered by it; it seemed consistent with and relevant to his very personal account.

For those seeking general knowledge of the Dalai Lama, read "Freedom in Exile". To learn his world view, check out "Ethics For the New Millenium". But for a personal, sometimes surprising, and enjoyable account of the Dalai Lama, consider reading this book.

There is a Hasidic story that tells how some devoted students followed their Rebbe (a Hasidic teacher and spiritual master) as closely as they could during the course of a day -- not only to classes and meals, but at home, shopping trips, in the bedroom, in the bathroom and the like. One of the students was asked what purpose this attention served during the times the Rebbe was not engaged in teaching. The Hasid replied that "I don't follow the Rebbe just to hear him teach. I follow him to learn how he ties his shoe-laces".

I was reminded of this story in reading Victor Chan's account of his meetings with H.H. the Dalai Lama, the spiritual leader of Tibetan Buddhism. Mr. Chan wants to impress upon the reader the force of associating with a holy person. There is much to be learned from the contact with such a person, with observing his demeanor, small talk, daily routines and attitudes towards others. Spiritual growth and inspiration can be imparted from these contacts, just as with formal teachings.

Mr. Chan first met the Dalai Lama in 1972 in a roundabout, virtually accidental way following his graduation from college. He subsequently became interested in Buddhism and Tibet, writing a travel guidebook to the latter, and gaining the confidence and friendship of the Dalai Lama. Mr. Chan's book, "The Wisdom of Forgiveness" consists of nineteen short chapters in which he accompanies the Dalai Lama on various journeys, interviews him repeatedly and at length, and shares in his day-to-day activities.

Thus, the book shifts from place-to-place as Mr Chan joins the Dalai Lama on trips to Ireland, Norway, on pilgrimages to Buddhist holy sites in India, and in the Dalai Lama's headquarters in Dharamsala, India. We meet many members of the Dalai Lama's entourage, including interpreters, advisors, and bodyguards, as well as a variety of other people famous, such as Desomond Tutu and Oprah Winfrey, and obscure.

The book gives a good picture of the Dalai Lama in teaching and in character. In his discussions with Mr. Chan, he discusses at length the value of a gracious and forgiving heart particularly as it involves in the Dalai Lama's own case the Chinese communists who overran Tibet in the 1950s and destroyed its holy places. We also receive teachings on emptiness and on controlling one's mind.

The book shows admirably the Dalai Lama's sometimes unpredictable sense of humor, his ability to put people at ease, the unpretentious manner in which he wears his learning and his practice, his serenity, and his devotion. We learn a great deal of the Dalai Lama in the closing chapters of the book when we see him respond to a serious, potentially fatal illness. There are also good moments in the final chapters of the book when the Dalai Lama turns the tables on Mr. Chan and asks him questions on what Buddhism has meant to him and on how his contact with the Dalai Lama and the Tibetan people has influenced his life.

The book is a bit short, and Mr Chan seems to wander at times. I would have liked to hear more of the Dalai Lama. Thus, I think some of the books in which the Dalai Lama speaks and teaches for himself are a better way of getting to know him than is this account. Still, this book is worth reading.

The title of the book, and much of its early chapters, concentrate on the importance of being able to forgive. A famous verse in the "Dhammapada", a collection of short verses which is part of the Scripture of all forms of Buddhism speaks eloquently of the importance of forgiveness and of not bearing grudges. It reads:

He abused me, he stuck me, he overpowerered me
he robbed me. Those who harbour such thoughts
do not still their hatred. (Dmammapada, v.3)

The Dalai Lama's character and his life, as reflected in this book, offer living testimony to the power of forgiveness.

I too am a loving fan of the Dalai Lama and have read 3 other books. I was particularly interested in reading this book as I ended a loveless friendship after 27 years and wanted to quelch the flames of resentment. The book is well written and a wonderful look at the wise heart of the Dalai Lama. I loved reading it! That said, this is not a self-help book. It reviews compassion as the path to forgiveness, but it doesn't tell you how -- that's up to the reader to find out through their own journey. It is an inspiring book and a heart-warming read.

There are so many books out featuring the Dalai Lama's face on the cover. But after reading even a few lines, it becomes apparent that this one is different. Like the holy man himself, this book has a warm heart. It's a surprisingly easy and wholly engaging read, a rich story rather than dense teachings weighted down by abstruse Buddhist terminology. Through the eyes of Victor Chan, friend and confidant of His Holiness, we are invited to become intimately acquainted with the Dalai Lama. We follow the leader of the Tibetan people as he travels extensively, encountering world leaders, visionaries and other highly appointed and influential individuals. We join Chan as the proverbial fly on the wall, gaining privileged access into the public and private world of one of the greatest men of our times. For those who are Buddhists and familiar with the teachings of the Dalai Lama, this book brings them just that much closer to gaining spiritual insight and a fuller understanding of a man they love. For the rest of us, it introduces a person whose wisdom is directly relevant to our lives, a man who speaks a universal language and offers hope for a world plagued with poverty, war and injustice. Chan deftly weaves each chapter with vivid anecdotes and lively dialogue. As a storyteller, he is first rate. He shows us how the Dalai Lama interacts and relates with others. We observe the monk's immense capacity for joy, his sense of playfulness and mirth, his humility and honesty. At the same time, we gain an inkling of the depth of his humanity; we learn of his personal spiritual milestones; we read accounts and are inspired by his unwavering commitment to the tenets of selflessness, peace, compassion, and forgiveness.
What this book does not do is offer a four-step (or other) guide to achieving personal contentment, or enlightenment. This is not a simple how-to guide for those seeking spiritual awakening.
But it is a book that makes us think deeply about how we are affected by our actions and attitudes towards others. Through interviews with scientists and researchers, Chan presents provocative data. By telling the tale of people who have survived tragedy loss, we derive first-hand knowledge about the power of forgiveness and compassion. This book allows us to observe how the Dalai Lama has internalized his spiritual beliefs and in doing so, it is hard to remain unmoved. The Wisdom of Forgiveness is a book I will read and reread. I will also not hesitate to pass it along to friends and family, and anyone else who has been in the position of seeking or granting forgiveness.

Victor Chan's book about the Dalai Lama is simple but enlightening. The book itself contains selections from numerous interviews Chan conducted with the Dalai Lama. Chan also writes down numerous anecdotes about what he has seen from observing the Dalai Lama in different settings.

Some of the people who are familiar with the Dalai Lama will recognize many of the teachings contained in this book. There are strong passages concerning the importance of compassion, wisdom, and forgiveness. The salient point is made that if we can't forgive others we come to suffer from internalized feelings of anger. I was also really impressed with Chan's characterization of the Dalai Lama's formula for happiness. This formula is; emptiness + compassion = happiness. How true. In different spots emptiness is explained as a concept that means interdependence. In other words, everything (trees, soil, water, clouds etc.) is interdependent in some way. No man is an island. This concept allows us to realize and look at things from a perspective that helps us understand other people. If we can do this perhaps we can overcome any feelings of anger in the future. Just common-sensical advice that's easier said than done. The other area emphasized as of the utmost importance is compassion. When we have compassion for others we are what the Dalai Lama terms "selfish Buddhists". But selfish in a good way. By being compassionate towards others we get back gifts that truly make us feel happy. Rewards that are hard to put into words but that people understand on a deeper level. We karmically accumulate so much merit from these works that we can't help but be happier.

One of the things I enjoyed about this book was that it presented practical advice but it wasn't done in a Hallmark fashion. There wasn't a cheesy feel to it, and the author seemed very humble and authentic. He wrote about his own personal feelings towards Tibet and his respect for the Dalai Lama with a truthfulness seldom displayed by writers looking to push an agenda. As an example of this truthfulness was one section where he revealed the Dalai Lama had an air rifle. Only to scare away hawks that prey on small birds, though.

Lastly, people will enjoy this book because of the lovable personality of the Dalai Lama that comes to the fore. Obviously he's more intellectual than most people realize and he's well versed in ancient Tibetan teachings. However, his greatest asset may be that he helps people feel good about themselves. He has a jovial personality that shakes with laughter from head to toe at a good joke. It could be argued that no teachings are as great as those moments when a true Buddha can with utter honesty, lack of pretension, and total sincerity make people smile and forget about their problems. He wants you to realize he's just a simple monk dedicated to serving others. As you read this book you'll be reminded of how the law of emptiness (interdependence) has found its way to you and how the Dalai Lama has succeeded once again in giving his greatest teaching.

Like a flower opening with time-release photography, Victor Chan slowly reveals the character, daily routines, spiritual honesty and generosity of His Holiness the Dali Lama as he travels in Asia and Europe for over three decades (from 1972 upon their first meeting to 2004 when the book was published).

The beauty of Chan's book is a meld of de-coding of high spiritual teachings such as impermanence--often translated in the West (somewhat misleadingly) as "emptiness"--and a sense that we are a pet mouse in Chan's breast pocket, listening to his heartbeat as it is altered by searching conversations and interviews with His Holiness.

A press conference in Prauge,The Dali Lama's inner shrine in Dharamsala in India (the seat of the Tibetan government in exile), experimental subject in the West, leader of conferences dwelving into the interweaving of meditation and science, walking the Peace Line through the war zone in Ireland,surving a serious illness on the road,laughing backstage with Archbishop Desmond Tutu on Nobel Peace Laureate presentation day--these are a few of the places and roles presented in the vignettes offered up in these intimate conversations and journeys.

Victor Chan is guileless and does not posture to impress. This self-acceptance witout worrying too much how he will look serves "The Wisdom of Forgiveness" well. We the readers can thus identify with Chan in all his humanity as he depicts the holiness of a great man shining through a human face and body.

Chan's writing is lucid, filled with telling detail and description that makes the pages fly by. Unlike other reviewers here, I had no expections, and thus was merely delighted by "The Wisdom of Forgiveness"--with my views on important teachings such as interdepence clarified by their simple exposition and modeling on these pages.

--Janet Grace Riehl, author Sightlines: A Poet's Diary

This book gives an amazing view into the life of his holiness the Dalai Lama. There are questions posed that relate to everyone's life and relate to all of our daily lives. I recommend this book for anyone that wants to understand why forgiveness is so important to our health.

It is a very fine piece of insight into an exceptional human being and his beliefs as he embodies them. I am deeply grateful to Victor for the time and care that he has taken in presenting this portrait of the Dalai Lama and working so fastidiously to illuminate the teachings through his thorough and painstaking questioning and observations.
The teachings about emptiness finally began to make sense, as did the expansion of the concept of interconnectedness, which to me, while I have embraced it conceptually for many years, has dropped to a much deeper level, as I considered it from the point of view of disappearing boundaries and a physical sense of connectedness. It had never occured to me to go beyond the conceptual, and I am certain that this will have a profound effect on my life and practice. I have done a lot of study on forgiveness, myself, but learned more - the wise/selfish idea, put into words a concept I have been teaching.
Thanks for a great read and valuable insight.

Now and then I pick up a Self help or How-to book that promises to be useful for my life. Most of them end up on the shelf, bookmarked about halfway through. The Wisdom of Forgiveness is different. It is a compelling read, packed with stories and anecdotes. It pulls you in. That's what I was looking for: a book that is full of insights, a book that is useful and at the same time readable and entertaining. A book that presents us with wisdom without being preachy and condescending.

It helps that Victor Chan doesn't take himself too seriously. He admits to struggle with some of the more difficult Buddhist concepts. He confesses to being in agony while sitting cross-legged. He doesn't don a suit or a robe (only a Moroccan cape); he doesn't tell us how to live our lives. Instead he gives us an example. He shows us a truly wise person not only through his words, but also in his actions.

Through Chan's eyes, we see the Dalai Lama as a guy who likes to pull people's beards, who likes to giggle and eat cookies when he's not supposed to. At the same time, there are significant insights I can take away from this book. I learned that a wider perspective helps me cope with my own problems. That forgiveness and compassion may well be beneficial for my health. And that I can be selfish, as long as I am wisely so. The Wisdom of Forgiveness is a book I highly recommend.

As a huge Dalai Lama fan, I eagerly awaited this book. I had read a few pieces by Chan and was impressed by his writing. Perhaps my expectations were too high. This book does get you closer to HHDL's daily schedule, but it reads more like an expanded article than and in-depth book. It's very short with a larger than normal font and sometimes two blank pages and a title page between the chapters. There are 30 TOTALLY blank pages and 19 pages with only a title on them-49 essentially blank pages within a 266 page book? That's totally unacceptable.

A large percentage of the book describes Chan's experiences with the HHDL's various assistants and while this is somewhat illuminating, for a book this light I felt a bit shortchanged. Worse, for me at least, was the abbreviated feel of the many conversations he has with HHDL. He often mentions his pages of questions, but only writes about a few of them. A few times though, he does hit a bullseye, like when HHDL explains what a specific moment of enlightenment physically felt like. But other times Chan spends pages explaining his difficulty in understanding emptiness, which is often explained concisely in HHDL's other books.

Overall, it's an interesting book, but the emphasize on "intimate conversations and journeys" is a bit misleading and the length of the book is a letdown.