I Wish Someone Had Told Me: A Realistic Guide to Early Motherhood (Paperback)

by Nina Barrett (Author) "You bought the pregnancy books..." (more)
Key Phrases: childbirth education teacher, New York, Celeb Moms, John Bowlby (more...)

Editorial Reviews

Product Description
There's no shortage of 'expert' advise for the new mother: books, doctors, and well meaning grandmothers liberally give opinions on what you should be doing and how you should be feeling. But I Wish Someone Had Told Me is not a book of shoulds: it is a book about how women really handle the joys, the challenges and the problems of being a mother. During the course of her interviews with more than sixty new mums, Nina Barrett made an important discovery. No one knows the secret: we are all putting our motherhood together from scratch. This collection of tales from the front addresses universal topics from labour (yes, it hurts), to marriage (babies may create strain rather than bond), to child minding (there is no Mary Poppins), to everyday life with a baby (what exactly does a new-born do?).

About the Author
Nina Barrett

Product Details

• Paperback: 237 pages
• Publisher: Academy Chicago Publishers (August 1997)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0897334426
• ISBN-13: 978-0897334426
• Product Dimensions: 8.5 x 5.5 x 0.6 inches
• Shipping Weight: 10.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.0 out of 5 stars See all reviews (10 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #1,087,838 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

42 of 43 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Nanny seal of approval, January 20, 2001

By	Karen (aboard the Dark Dew) - See all my reviews

One of the hardest things about being a nanny is seeing intelligent, well-meaning people make exactly the same mistakes. Over and over, I have seen employers be hurt by unrealistic expectations of their life after the baby was born, after the colic was over, after the baby was walking, after the twos were over... it takes some people until the second child to accept that their life has undergone the greatest transformation possible and nothing will ever be the same. It takes some people forever.

The best thing about this book is its firm roots in the two linked ideas that having a baby changes your life utterly and in ways that are impossible to prepare for, and that we live in a culture that has psychotically decided to ignore this basic fast of human existence. You will need more help than you ever have, but everything in you and around you will be telling you that you "should" take care of yourself and your baby and your marriage and your house and your job ALL BY YOURSELF. This book doesn't really offer any answers to this dangerous nonsense, but it does pave a way for a new mother to stop seeing herself as bad or unworthy for her feelings of resentment and being overwhelmed, and instead to realize that everyone feels that way. Indeed, raising children in a culture that demands total responsibility from parents and gives them no support, to paraphrase the author, ensures that parents will feel awful.

12 of 13 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Great book on reality of motherhood, May 12, 1999

By A Customer

I, too received this book as a shower gift and read it cover to cover before my son was born. I still think back to many of the insights and realities that women spoke of in the book. It was truly one of the only books, out of many, that I have read that talked about both the joys and sadness that come with being a mother. For those that want to move beyond the sugar coated how-to books, this is THE book.

12 of 14 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars The most thoughtful gift for a first time mother., January 28, 1999

By	"gnerak" (New Jersey) - See all my reviews

I received this book as a gift from my sister in law when my first son was born. I read it from cover to cover, while he nursed and dozed in my arms. I laughed, I cried, but most of all, I felt good about myself and the decisions that we had made for our son during my pregnancy, delivery, and after his birth. My only regret is that I didn't have this book while I was still pregnant, because I think it would have helped me with my fear of the unknown-childbirth. I have loaned this book out to expectant neighbors, co-workers, friends - every one has loved it for the frank honesty expressed by the mothers interviewed. And even though my children are older now, I still reread sections over again to reassure myself that I'm not the worst mother in the world (in spite of what my 7 year old might think sometimes).