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I Wish I Were Engulfed in Flames: My Insane Life Raising Two Boys with Autism [Hardcover]

Jeni Decker
3.9 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (43 customer reviews)

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Book Description

January 17, 2012

The down and dirty world of one autism mom's journey—from sex-ed to Santa Claus.

Jeni Decker is five-foot nothing and one hundred and [redacted] pounds—a self described roly-poly, forty-something, Reubenesque bon-bon of a gal, often called cute but never sexy. She has two sons with autism on opposite ends of the spectrum (Jake and Jaxson), a husband who prefers hunting to household chores, an Australian Shepherd named Sugar, and an albino frog named Humbert Humbert. This is her story—a brash, personal, and some-times shocking memoir of one woman’s determination to raise two healthy kids with autism and keep her sanity in the process. It’s not always easy. Between “poop” incidents, temper tantrums, and the “helpful” advice about parenting from her fellow citizens in the grocery store, Jeni often finds herself wanting to throw something. With chapters like: “Tickling the Weiner,” “Why I Hate Pokemon,” “Santa: Give it a Friggin’ Rest, Already,” and “Oprah’s the Reason My Kid Thinks I Want to Drown Him in the Tub,” I Wish I Were Engulfed in Flames also includes mini-chapters written by her eldest son, Jake.

Readers looking for laughter and inspiration will find it here aplenty, along with tons of surreal anecdotes that will have you either shaking your head in disbelief (for those unacquainted with the world of autism) or nodding with recognition (for those who are). As Jeni says, “I developed a new ‘normal.’”

24 full-color photographs

Frequently Bought Together

I Wish I Were Engulfed in Flames: My Insane Life Raising Two Boys with Autism + All I Can Handle: I'm No Mother Teresa: A Life Raising Three Daughters with Autism + Shut Up About Your Perfect Kid: A Survival Guide for Ordinary Parents of Special Children
Price for all three: $39.46

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Editorial Reviews

Review

“Brash, sarcastic, irreverent, heartfelt, and touching, Decker’s memoir is all this and more. Highly recommended.” (Library Journal)

“This is not your mother’s autism book! Raw, honest with ‘she said what?!’ laughs on every page.” (Kim Stagliano, author of All I Can Handle: I’m No Mother Teresa)

Book Description

Chelsea Handler meets Kathy Griffin in this down and dirty story of one autism mom's journey--from Sex-Ed to Santa Claus.

Product Details

  • Hardcover: 288 pages
  • Publisher: Skyhorse Publishing; 1 edition (January 17, 2012)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1616084855
  • ISBN-13: 978-1616084851
  • Product Dimensions: 1 x 6.3 x 9.2 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 1.1 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 3.9 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (43 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #406,491 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Jeni Decker lives on a farm in rural Michigan with her husband, two sons, some chickens, the occasional pig, two dogs, and an albino frog named Humbert Humbert. Books available now: "I Wish I Were Engulfed in Flames," and "The Peacock Mirror," as well as the first two releases in the Dex Morneau crime noir series - "Rigor Mortis" & "Absente Reo."

You can listen to a chapter of Rigor Mortis here, narrated by author Greg Crites: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SVtmH_AaqC4

Also available: "Waiting for Karl Rove," its sequel "Waiting for Karl Rove: The Sequel... sort of," and "A Fit of Hissy" - all co-written with Kat Nove.

http://jenidecker.com
http://closetspacemusings.blogspot.com






Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews
12 of 13 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Burning Down the House! April 8, 2012
Format:Hardcover
This book is VERY funny! Jeni Decker has a WICKED sense of humor and, as she herself says in this book, she is good with words. In fact, she is damn good!

Jeni, the mother of Jake, (born 1996) and Jaxson (born 2000) tells the travails of raising 2 boys with autism. Jake is not as severely affected; is quite bright and a number of his writings are included in the book. The inclusion of Jake's work makes the story even more effective.

Jake, the older son has meltdowns; cannot stand the touch and feel of paper and like everyone on the autism spectrum detests surprises and loud noises. I felt Jake's pain in re his aversion for topics fecal; I hate feces and find fecal talk stomach turning. In fact, the only thing I DIDN'T like about this book were the graphic fecal tales. Jake's fecal issues included his asking Jeni to inspect him after he used the bathroom to make sure he had completely cleaned himself. Jake's related sensory issues included only using wet wipes instead of toilet paper. His social skills, while never his forte included asking for a cleanliness "inspection" even at age 12!

Jaxson, on the other has severe autism. He has severe meltdowns, sometimes resulting in injury to his brother. He is marginally verbal; partially toilet trained (there is a section devoted to how Jax would change his own Pull-Ups after each trip to the bathroom and a funny part about how he stashed the discarded soiled ones in a neighbor's yard until the irate neighbor demanded to know what was going on. Even though I hate fecal tales, that story about the stash and the neighbor was funny). He also is quite computer savvy and even films his own stools. I didn't like the part about the stool show or any of the graphic fecal tales.

Jake's maturation is chronicled in this book. Even when he learns that Santa is just smoke and mirrors, he needs time to accept the fact that Santa is just a trick and not real. (I am no fan of Santa and I could understand how Jake felt). Jake absolutely detests school and his eloquent, poignant writings bring readers into the pain he undergoes on a daily basis. He is fully aware of his autism and how it impacts on his life. He has some special interests, including Pokemon. Jeni's aversion for and level of how sick of Pokemon was funny in how she described it. When Jake was 7 and still unfortunately believed in Santa, he wrote an email to the Pokemon HQ requesting a Pokemon game tailored to his vision. She added a letter to his, telling the Pokemon Company how she felt and why. She also sent a faux-mail to her son from "Santa" explaining why this could not be done. (That is why I am no fan of Santa because I feel Santa is just trickery and deception). Still and all, it was funny.

On a serious note, Jeni and her husband Will separated for a period.

Jeni's girlhood and her parents brought many laughs. Old hippies, they would smoke grass around Jeni and her sister; hung out with others who shared their interests and lifestyles and taught the girls how to roll joints when they were still children. Jeni's mother had a VERY bawdy sense of humor and was not above making racy and off-color comments and telling blue jokes in front of her kids, while still children and even her grandsons. She was a very funny person. I laughed my head off when she told one doctor in quite crude terms that she had not slept with a man since the 1970s. Let's just say she was quite a distinctive personality!

Jake's bonding with the pigs on the family farm in Michigan is funny, yet poignant. I couldn't help but think of the 1968 George Harrison song, "Piggies" when I read the parts about the pig sty. Jake, always very sensitive to odors, was able to tolerate the stench of the sty because he loved his porcine pals.

I enjoyed this book. I loved it when Jeni included the "goo goo ga joob" line from the Beatles' 1967 classic "I am the Walrus." I especially loved it when she said she would start playing 2 1968 Beatle classics for her sons, "Hey Jude" and the George Harrison classic "While My Guitar Gently Weeps," which would be a good thing for them.

This is a funny book. While I didn't like the scatalogical stories or the irreverent expressions, I enjoyed the book and had many a giggle over it. The Talking Heads' 1983 classic "Burning Down the House" could be the soundtrack of this book.
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11 of 12 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Touching, and LOL funny January 5, 2012
Format:Hardcover|Amazon Verified Purchase
Only Jeni Decker can tell the trials and tribulations of raising two autistic sons and make you laugh out loud on almost every page. This book has such an uplifting spirit, and I applaud Jeni for telling her story and for her outlook on life. This is not just a story about autism. It's a story about parenting and about embracing life and playing the hand you're dealt with style and grace. And a lot of laughs. Jeni's memoir will make you laugh and cry, and it will make you a better parent. Loved it.
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11 of 12 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars A most excellent read by a most excellent writer! December 15, 2011
Format:Hardcover|Amazon Verified Purchase
I Wish I were Engulfed in Flames is a heart warming, hilarious and real look at one woman's life raising two autistic sons. Jeni Decker is an amazing writer and an even more amazing mother. She deals with the trials of her life with humor and honesty. I was hooked after reading the first chapter 'Tickling the Weiner' and couldn't put the book down until I'd finished.

This book is a raw, unbelievably honest memoir, but most of all it is entertaining and very well written. My hat's off to you Jeni Decker.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars Humorly done
It sounds like a depressing read but it is done in a positive manner, considering and with great humor. Read more
Published 2 months ago by j. carlson
4.0 out of 5 stars Quick Read
A funny insight to the challanges of a family with autistic childres. At first I thought it was sad and dark, but once I got reading it I thought is was great the way Jeni used... Read more
Published 3 months ago by Kim
2.0 out of 5 stars STARTS great, then....well, I couldn't finish it.
I bought this book hoping I could recommend it to parents of my autistic students. It started out so well. She's funny and so "normal" and relate-able. Read more
Published 4 months ago by Steph
1.0 out of 5 stars Be Careful What You Wish For!
I got this book as a "gift" from my sister-in-law because my husband and I are raising two boys with autism as well. Read more
Published 4 months ago by The Kindler
5.0 out of 5 stars Great read
I truly enjoyed reading this book. While it was very funny, I also learned a lot about being the parent of autistic children.
Published 5 months ago by Math Teacher
5.0 out of 5 stars Funny, funny, funny
When you have a slightly autistic family member, you can relate to the funny tales in this book. Boohoo to all you who can't laugh at life's little tragedies.
Published 5 months ago by Florida wild
5.0 out of 5 stars Real, heartbreaking and funny
I can't imagine anyone handling difficult circumstances with more humor and grace than Jeni Decker. I would strongly recommend the book to anyone looking for an inspirational read,... Read more
Published 7 months ago by Lyn Smith
5.0 out of 5 stars Very funny look at raising 2 boys with autism
I loved this book and give this mom cudos for dealing with her two boys with autism with love and humor. I wish all of us could be so patient with each other. Read more
Published 8 months ago by Eva E. Berling
2.0 out of 5 stars Profanity-laced rant
There are a few tidbits of helpful insight into the world of autism in this book, scattered among journeys into self-righteous "aren't I doing a great job with what I've been... Read more
Published 9 months ago by A. Kersh
1.0 out of 5 stars Jeni Decker should be ashamed of herself.
I read "I Wish I Were Engulfed in Flames: My Insane Life Raising Two Boys with Autism" by Jeni Decker. It was terrible. I have two autistic boys myself. Read more
Published 10 months ago by Carol Haddock
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