Most Helpful Customer Reviews
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22 of 26 people found the following review helpful:
1.0 out of 5 stars
Witches of Wastewick, October 7, 2005
This movie was not worth the cost to return it. DO NOT waste your money.They completely waste the talents of Monique Parent. the hot tub scene must have been filled with ice cold water. This movie could not heat up a 14 year old virgin. If you like giant fake breasts then okay. better yet spend your money on fake lotto tickets at least those are SUPPOSED to be funny. By far the worst movie with the least stimulating sex imaginable. Don't complain if you ignore this warning.
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14 of 16 people found the following review helpful:
2.0 out of 5 stars
More treats than tricks, March 19, 2006
A man named 'David' {Matt Dalpiaz} is plagued by a dream and becomes obsessed with finding the source of it - three succulent succubi undulating in sexual abandon by raging flames before being sacrificed. He and wife 'Tiffany' {Monique Parent} are the decendants of those who burned their ancestors at the stake in eras past. This takes he and his deliciously erubescent wife out into the wilderness where the car breaks down for no apprent reason outside a cabin where he seeks to use the phone, in which reside three very familiar beauties. One delay after another occurs, including the secret administering of a potion into their wine {which would have been better applied with a pentagram "poison ring"}, until they are obligated to stay the night. He remains haunted by a pervading feeling of impending doom, which does not prevent the lovely ladies from taking their pleasures with he and his wife, from the jacuzzi to the bathtub to the woods to the bedroom.
The couple are regailed with the legend of "La Cacanya", a creature lurking about the surrounding forest when suddenly, a stunning brunette appears before him in the darkness, who after quite a delightful indulgence, warns him of the deadly intentions of the three witches, the so-called "Daughters of La Cacanya" {one of whom wears a weakagram, which does not seem to quite work}. But they are certainly a preferred alternative to the typical warty hag depiction.
The next morning, David finds the car operable, but his wife is missing. Upon a frantic search, he meets with the lovely brunette again, who arms him with a silver blade, supposedly the only weapon effective against a witch. He finds Tiffany strapped to a stake by a bonfire, ready to be sacrificed. La Cacanya makes a brief appearence, and David predictably rescues the wife at the last moment.
Unfortunately, the lengthy lesbian scenes seem like gratuitous fluff, with seemingly minimal contact between the women. The title is obviously a double-en-tendre' on the film "The Witches of Eastwick', although this plot really has nothing to do with that story at all. The performers are visually superb, although their talents are not maximized herein.
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6 of 8 people found the following review helpful:
1.0 out of 5 stars
Implants 'R' Us, November 27, 2006
I suppose one could overlook the wretched acting in this alleged spoof of "The Witches of Eastwick", and forgive the frequent and unexplained mood shifts of the main characters, and instead just look at the almost constant nudity of the female characters.
Problem is, you can't, or at least I can't. The three "Witches" are the victims of the most appallingly botched implant jobs in the history of science. Combine that with the way they stare blankly at the camera during their "lust", with the female equivalent of a post-lobotomy Randall P. McMurphy look on their faces, and you'll be wishing you had the wasted hour and a half back someday when you're on your death bed.
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