Customer Reviews

Without a Map: A Memoir

5 star:		(43)
4 star:		(17)
3 star:		(11)
2 star:		(7)
1 star:		(2)

 

 

In "Without a Map" (245 pages), the author Meredith Hall retells the consequences she faced upon becoming an unwed mom at age 16, growing up in a conservative surrounding in the mid-60s. Immediately outcast by both her parents, she is literally set on a path of life that she never intended or prepared for, "without a map".

The author vividly paints how, after giving up the baby for adoption immediately at birth, she aches for some, any, sympathy and support from her parents. She never gets it, and eventually she leaves her family at age 18 to make her own life. One of the better chapters (which do not follow chronologically, incidentally) is when she decide to walk around in Europe and the Middle East, "without a map", for what must be a period of months, if not a year, all by herself and without hardly any money, sleeping wherever she can find a spot.

At some point in her 20s or 30s, Hall introduces her mom to a guy she is dating. During what seems to be a pleasant meal at the restaurant, at some point her mom pulls the guy closer and says (in front of Hall!): "Thomas, I feel compelled to warn you away from my daughter. You don't know what you are getting into." Her mother then continues eating and chatting as if nothing has happened. Can you imagine that? Up until the very end of her monther's life, the author hopes for some sign of ackowledgement or forgiveness from her mom.

Lest you think that this book is just one big hole of self-pity and sorrow, there are also great uplifing moments, none better than when the author describes her reunion, 21 years later, with the child she gave up for adoption at birth. In all, I found this book absolutely compelling from start to finish.

Finally I understand what the word "evocative" means. Hall's prose is like liquid, and she creates pictures and feelings without ever being wordy or sentimental. I thought I would like this book because it was about a woman in New Hampshire, and I thought I would be able to relate to that. Instead, I loved this book because even though Meredith Hall's experiences are nothing like mine, her humanity is exactly like mine, or any other human's. The book's nonlinear structure is unusually well-executed and the story surges forward no matter what direction time is flowing in from chapter to chapter. The book weaves together mortality, relationships, loneliness, nature, and love without romanticizing the people, places, and feelings that Hall uses to explore her life, and the idea of life at all.

I can't wait to read her next book.

...this is a book that anyone who has wondered, "How could someone give up their baby?" should read. And if you have ever asked, "What kind of person gives up their baby?" this is a must read, because the answer is... someone just like any of us.
Things happen beyond our control - sometimes they just get out of hand and sometimes they are just unfamiliar and unexpected. Through everything that Meredith Hall experienced since she was 16 and her world turned upside down, she has remained steadfast in hope and Love. She was shunned, she was made to feel dirty, shame, and guilt - no just by strangers or school friends or the father of her child, but her parents.
This book is a testament to the love between a child and mother. As the years passed since Memorial Day 1966, Meredith never forgets her baby - the baby everyone was ashamed of, that everyone shunned her because of, the baby that was her only companion and solace until he was born. For 21 years she counts his birthdays and thinks of him growing up... each of them without the other. This book is also a record of the attitude that society had (and still has) about the mothers and children that form the base of the adoption industry. How Dr. Quinn talks to Meredith and his careless placement of her baby in an abusive home speaks volumes.
When birth-mother, adoptive mother, and their child meet we see three people with the same heart - a heart filled with love and forgiveness and hope. Meredith Hall has written a story - her story - that not only will open eyes but will open minds and hearts as well. All our parents stories are the beginning of our stories.

I cry when I read this book. I don't mean to, but somehow it happens, and more than once, because the writing is so tender and vulnerable and immensely beautiful. It is powerful, but in a very quiet, unassuming way, so it comes as a surprise when I find myself so moved by Meredith Hall's story. It is a story of drifting, of existing outside of one's self, of struggling to fill an all-encompassing emptiness. Grief, love, and compassion are woven together in this memoir in a pattern that is very human in its intricacy. The narrative structure is nonlinear, but Hall's memories of different times and places still flow together with an unusual elegance. The texture of her prose is light, delicate, and somehow incredibly soothing despite the fact that it recounts pain, loss and abandonment. This is a stunningly beautiful book that I will definitely read again.

This is an astonishingly beautiful memoir. I don't frequently get misty-eyed at books, but this made me cry on the subway. This is one of those rare memoirs that manages to move from retelling to a full sensory experience of another person's life. Again, beautiful.

Meredith Hall's intriguing memoir "Without a Map" is a singularly poignant and interesting book from a literary point of view and both heart-wrenching and affirming from an emotional point. At first, the non-linear aspect of her story touched on the annoying but then it all came together; in many ways, the absence of chronology added to its uniqueness among memoirs. It was as if in the telling, she suddenly remembered something that made her go back and then move forward again.

As a story of society's reaction to young girls "who got in trouble", it brought back the horrible lack of compassion and empathy so rampant in the fifties and early sixties, when I was also growing up. Boys were understood to have no sexual control and girls were held solely responsible for keeping themselves "pure". Combining this with the lack of full sexual education, a phenomenon that has come back to reality under Bush's "Abstinence only" sex ed, could lead only to what it did in Meredith's life. Pregnant girls were shunned as tramps and sent away to have their babies in hiding and to give them up without ever seeing them. The professionals believed these young girls would easily forget their pasts and go on with their lives. No one except the young girls themselves ever imagined that they would remember their babies in stark detail every single day of their lives. Adoption itself was usually held in privacy between the obstetrician and whomever he deemed worthy of having a baby, often to disastrous consequences, as in this instance.

We don't often hear from these young women again except in what are portrayed as happily-ever-after reunion shows on TV so Meredith's memoir fills an extreme gap in our knowledge. She courageously shows us that the horror of being turned away by the very people invested with the responsibility for loving us unconditionally never goes away, that it permanently and pervasively marks every aspect of one's life forever. In the face of all that, however, the one thing that so stands out about Meredith is her unending capacity for understanding and forgiveness of the very people who least deserve it, her parents and siblings. From her early attempts to completely dissociate herself from her very essence before pregnancy through roaming the Middle East by herself to her years as a middle-aged mother of three grown sons and college writing teacher, who comes to love and embrace living by herself no longer mourning what was so brutally taken from her, Meredith's memoir is beautifully written, beseeching compassion, and determined to stay with the reader for a long long time.

In response to one reviewer who gave this book only one star and claimed Meredith was selfish and whiny and let her father off with no pain, I'm not sure you read this book in its entirety. There was not one instance "poor me". She bravely lived a life none of us should ever have to. She did not let her father off at all. She gave him two choices - to tell her he loved her all along and ask for forgiveness for his mistakes or to do what he ultimately did, to believe Meredith understands what he did and why and beg her to love him anyway. She realized that his cruelty to her and inability to apologize was all about him and would remain that way. He never looks good and never will. And Meredith finds she and her children don't need him after all.

If I have one complaint, it is a small one. Meredith tells us nothing about the father of her later children, the father she divorced after ten years of marriage. Although missing in his entirety, he is not really missed. I am merely curious about the one man who enabled Meredith to find love and the strength to have more children.

I strongly recommend reading Meredith's story and suggest that you will not easily find another as original and inspiring.

Meredith Hall faced life without a map. However, she's drawing a map for her sons! She's giving to her sons what her parents could not give her: encompassing, unconditional love and compassion. This powerful memoir leads us from abandonment and shame, through years of emptiness and struggle for comprehension, to examination, reflection, redemption and love. Her story is brave and honest; her writing is strong, evocative and elegant. Her path to understanding and acceptance of her parents and herself provides her sons a map for life.

This is an account that no one should have to write. It's l965 - Good girls don't get pregnant!! This book is based upon Ms. Hall's struggles to understand why her life changed so quickly and drastically and her struggle to repair it. Why did her mother send her away? Why did her father and stepmother treat her poorly and hide her? Meredith writes a sad...revealing...heartfelt account of her pregnancy at age 16 and how she was criticized, rejected, and treated miserably by friends and family. How does she survive it? How does she regain control of her life? The descriptions are vivid and the issues raised thought provoking... great read...compelling.

I could not put down the book for long and made time to read it as quickly as I could. The writing is elegant. The story engages the reader. Not everyone will accept the decisions made by the writer but this is her story that she shares with the reader, warts and all.

I had the wonderful opportunity to study with Meredith Hall in a number of courses throughout college and cannot emphasize enough how much I adore her and admire her talent. Aside from my familiarity with Meredith as an instructor, Without a Map is an eloquent, articulate, and beautifully written memoir that I absolutely recommend. She captures the entire realm of emotions-- from disbelief, fear, sadness, and detachment to love, hope, and a keen understanding-- and brings the reader along with her. This is a fantastic book.