Customer Reviews

Without You: A Memoir of Love, Loss, and the Musical Rent

5 star:		(74)
4 star:		(10)
3 star:		(4)
2 star:		(1)
1 star:		(1)

 

 

Anthony Rapp is best known for his wonderful portrayal of Mark, the frustrated filmmaker trying to make the ends of his life meet in the groundbreaking musical, "Rent". Also a film celebrity, Anthony can now proudly add to his resume the word "author". "Without You: A Memoir of Love, Loss, and the Musical Rent" is a magical, wonderous, heartbreaking journey of discover of life and of oneself.

"Without you" is a gift to many different groups. First, us "Rentheads" who love and have every musical syllable memorized, will absolutely devour Anthony's recollections on the making of the musical, both the stage version and a brief mention at the end of the book of the new movie version. Secondly, people who have suffered the loss of a loved one will treasure Anthony's story of his mother's brave battle with cancer. Third, those who love a good coming out story will apprecaite Anthony's amazingly honest recollections of his growing up years as he came to terms with himself. This is a book for everyone.

I was struck by Anthony's gentle and honest prose. His writing is vivid, accurate, and honest. There were times, especially when he discusses his relationships, that it was painful to read; I felt as if I were there, listening to him recount these painful stories. Rarely does writing bring me to tears, but Anthony's remembrances of the loss of Jonathan Larson was stunning and heartbreaking, and I required a box of Kleenex right next to me. The same for the story of his mother's last days.

It's not normal for me to read a book cover to cover in the course of a couple of days. The last one I remember doing it for was the most recent Harry Potter. But Anthony Rapp has written a memoir of love and loss that I simply could not put down. Whereas Jonathan Larson's gift to us was Rent, Anthony Rapp's gift to us are his memories, and his recollection of them in "Without You".

You simply have to read this book.

Perhaps it's best to preface this by saying that I have had in the past year the pleasure, privilege and honor of getting to know the author of this book. Anthony, aside from being an actor of immense talent and accomplishment, is eloquent, intelligent and has a heart of gold. I speak so highly of his personality in this review only to go on and say that it shows in the heartfelt nature of his memoir.

The book reads incredibly quickly; it's just that good. The raw emotion keeps coming and coming, and pushes you to keep reading. But what's most astounding about the book's raw emotion is its flat-out honesty, without fear of telling truths, even if they're ugly. I think it's rare for a show business memoir to be as up front and honest as this, while at the same time being so intensely personal. Anthony's not afraid to bare his faults, a brave and admirable leap. Anthony's voice throughout the book is gentle and accessible, only adding to the book's readability.

It's rare to read a book and to actively feel. There's a finite difference between recognizing emotion in a story and actually, truly feeling for it. When you read any story, you can recognize it as a happy one or a sad one, but it's another step entirely to actively experience the impacts of those emotions -- to laugh and to cry as your turn the pages. Without You doesn't only simply ask its readers for such a cathartic response; it commands it.

Catharsis in tragedy brings to the fore the notion of universality. When I bought my copy of Without You, the person who helped me find it at the store said "oh, is that the Rent guy?" Sure, Anthony's "the Rent guy," and yes, this book unlocks so many secrets that many Rent fans can only wish they had been part of, as Anthony puts into words so many things about the beloved show that fans -- myself included -- long to be able to express. But the Rent connection is far from all there is to be found here, and impact is not contingent upon familiarity with the show. The focus of the book is Anthony's loss of his mother, after her long, hard battle with cancer. Anthony's voice in his book puts this on a level so personal that not only is it a book for anyone who has experienced loss, but a book simply not to be missed. Even if you haven't experienced a loss of that magnitude, you will find something in this book of which to grab hold -- something that will cause you to re-evaluate your choices, past and present.

Art's job is to hold a mirror to reality; this book is art made of a reality, making the mirror image that much clearer. I don't hesitate to assert that people will take this moving, well-written book to heart. Check it out -- you will not regret it.

I have a feeling most people will think that Without You is a behind the scenes look at Rent, almost like a book parallel to the infamous Rent "bible". This is not the case at all. While touching on Anthony Rapp's journey through Rent, Without You delves much deeper than the show itself. Without You is a great read, and shouldn't, in my opinion, only be read by "Rentheads".

I'm not the type of person who usually is deeply affected by books. But, wow, did this one hit me hard. It was just so emotionally charged - you can easily tell that the words came pouring right out of Anthony's heart. Anthony has a great narrative voice, and although not known as a writer, he's got such an entrancing way with words. He's such a talented writer with so many great stories to tell.

The book is so touching, and at times, truly tragic. It's honest and raw and enthralling and pure and most of all, it's so brave. It's quite personal and at times I almost felt like I shouldn't be reading what was sitting in front of me. Anthony just laid his flesh out on the table. He held nothing back, and it took a lot of courage for him to do that. There are things that I didn't expect, that surprised me a little bit about his character, but if anything, seeing Anthony come through all of these situations only upped my respect for him as an actor, as a writer, and as a person.

I think this is the type of book you can pick up ten times, and still be affected and find something different that pulls you in. Obviously, I extremely enjoyed it - and I think most other people will too, regardless of whether or not they are familiar with Anthony's other work.

If you are a RENTHEAD then this book is a must. This is Anthony Rapp's first book and I was quite impressed. He has the gift of insite into the human soul. This is a unique and great gift for someone to have.

His gives details that no one else knows about RENT. I especially enjoyed the story of the day Jonathan Larson died. He goes into specific details and gives a us a climps of what it was like to be in RENT.

He also goes into vivid detail about his sexuality and his mother coming to terms with him being as he prefers be called a "queer." The mother-son relationship is the deep foundation of this entire book. The events leading up to his mothers death and the success of RENT go hand in hand in his life. It shows what it must have been like to watch you mother die while fame and fortune are coming upon you.

Overall this book was great. I bought it the day it came out and read it in 3 days. I wouldn't recommend it to anyone under the age of 15 probably. But its a great read. I'm rereading it all ready

Without you, by Anthony Rapp is a touching story of the best moments and the worst moments in life. I was excited to read this book, thinking that it would be all about the musical Rent, but it was so much more than that. Rapp describes much of his life and captivates the reader in an emotional way. This is a tell-all book revealing a side to Rapp that many people can connect with and it shows that although he played Mark Cohen on stage, behind the scenes was a tough journey for Anthony. I truly connected with all he had to say in his biography and read the entire thing cover to cover in under one day because I was so captivated by his use of language and emotional lure.

This book is a must read not only for 'Rentheads" but those of us strugging with loved ones loss, sexuality, pain, and life in general. So many emotions went into writing this story and the reader will go through so many emotions reading this. This is an amazing story of a man's journey with not only Rent, but with issues many other people go throguh and some even more difficult.

I loved this book. There. That's out of the way. So any criticism that follows has now been properly qualified.

So I bought this book, like so many others, because of its promise to take us behind the scenes of Rent, riding along with someone who has been with the show nearly from its conception. Anthony Rapp is a person who knew and worked with Jonathan Larson, so I fully expected to be treated to glimpses of their many interactions, etc. Well, I would say that, although there is a lot of material that focuses on the earliest versions of the play, there is very little material that deals with the show's creator or, in fact, any of the creative process at all. I think that little factoid is important for anyone who might be considering buying this book with that particular expectation in mind.

Instead, what this book does focus on are the very personal experiences of one of the lead players, Anthony Rapp. It is not an autobiography but, rather, it is a memoir - and it is written very much like one. If you took your personal journal and turned it into a novel, this would be the result. So, where does that leave the reader? Well, Mr. Rapp does a very nice job of telling his audience what it's like to be a cast member of an unknown musical that turns into a smash hit. He takes us through his audition, through opening night, and through all of his experiences along the road to becoming more and more popular. But the book tells us much more than that...

Interspersed between the pages filled with Rent, the author tells us of another very personal experience that was going on in his life at the time - the long illness and ultimate untimely death of his mother. Through this struggle, Mr. Rapp also spills out about his very open life as a gay man, and of his relationships with his boyfriends, and of his insecurities with his family, and on and on. The way in which he intertwines these feelings with his experiences with Rent keeps us interested and engaged, and allows him to tell us the otherwise uninteresting story of his life. This is not meant to be a negative comment, just that, let's face it, if he were not part of the cast of Rent, nobody would really care about his homosexual experiences or his family's illnesses, or anything else about him. In fact, there is really nothing unique about what he has gone through. But, by brilliantly weaving these stories with his somewhat more interesting stories about Rent, we somehow seem to care about what he has to say. And that's probably a good thing.

So, the good and the bad: The good is that Mr. Rapp invites us into his life and gives people something to relate to. And if you canot relate, then you are somehow educated. For example, his earliest homosexual relationships are not something that I can personally relate to, but I am glad to have been introduced to what he went through and how comfortable he is with himself. On the other hand, his experiences with his dying mother is something that many of us have gone through, but he tells the story and evokes feelings that are spot-on. And, through this, we can relate and feel his emotion and be comforted by the fact that we are not alone. Overall, I would say that the book is very rewarding in these aspects.

Now, for the bad: There are a few things that I will mention here. The first is that the front half of the book is very heavily loaded with Rent, but the back half is much less so. It is a good technique to draw readers into what he wants them to hear, but it also comes off as a little deceptive - especially when the logo of Rent is plastered all over the cover of the book. I was certainly hoping for a little more than his personal diary in this respect, given the way in which the book is advertised. The second problem is the way in which Mr. Rapp, as a central charater, changes throughout the course of the book. In the beginning, because of the overwhelming focus on Rent, Mr. Rapp comes off as being humble, sweet, and likeable. But, as the book goes on, we begin to see him as self-absorbed, self-indulgent, preachy, and overly dramatic. Maybe that's what really happened to him over that period of time. But I suspect that this does not represent a true transformation of character but, rather, a reflection of the subject matter about which he writes - which, as I stated earlier, shifts drastically as the book progresses onward. I personally did not like the way I felt about the author when I put the book down, half as much as I liked the way I felt about him when I picked the book up. This is probably not such a good thing.

The last issue I have with the book is that it focuses entirely too much around a fairly narrow window of the author's life. He references his childhood acting experiences many times, but never takes us through that process or through that time in his life. In fact, the only childhood experiences that he chooses to focus on completely are those which relate to his realizing that he is gay. I guess it is his choice to decide what he will reveal to us, but I would have personally liked to have known more about his progression toward becoming an actor and an artist.

OK, so I've said all that I wanted to say. But, again, let me clarify the point that I really did enjoy this book. In fact, I couldn't put it down. The writing is heartfelt and, I think, rather good, and the story is captivating enough to hold our attention. And, that in and of itself is a testament to this book because, in reality, the author is not introducing us to any really new experiences. He has just found a way to make us care about his life. And I think that is a tremendous feat.

I purchased the book thinking that it would be another memoir about being in a show. "Without You" is so much more than that. Rapp talks about RENT, but the book focuses mainly on his struggle with his mother's cancer--his need to have her accept him (and his homosexuality) before she passed away. A very emotional book, well-written and vivid.

At first I was a bit hesitant to read "Without You". I was afraid it was going to be one of the memoirs full of name-dropping and compliments toward the author, or worse yet, just plain bad writing. As I'm sure you know, Anthony is an incredible actor and musician but I was still skeptical. Needless to say, he totally won me over. His writing was sensitive and intelligent. He drew you into the story in an incredible way, making you feel as if you had met him for coffee and he was telling you the story of his life.
Instead of dwelling completely on the story of Rent, Anthony gives you a look at his life, the people he loves and his struggles. I think that anyone whether or not they are a fan of Rent should read this book. It completely changes your perspective on life, love and death.

Mr. Rapp leaves no personal stone unturned in this beautiful memoir. He tells his story from an honest and fresh perspective, even if he is occasionally cast in a less than perfect light. Through this memoir he dissects his soul and bares it to the world. His prose is engaging making this novel a very quick read.

On a personal level, I found this read to be a suprisingly enlightening experience. I saw so much of myself in the author that reading of his struggles and internal conflicts helped me to better understand my experiences as well as how to continue to cope with them. I found myself in tears several times throughout the course of the book, but the tears were always of the cleansing type.

Bravo Mr. Rapp. Your openness in this memoir is a true example of how we should all live and love.

I was only peripherally aware of Rent's first splash because of the media storm surrounding Johnathan Larson's untimely death. I was halfway through the DVD when I immediately started looking up the cast and found out about Anthony's book. I ordered it on the spot and stayed up all night to finish it the day it arrived.

The honesty is brutal. He pulls no punches on himself, his feelings, or his behaviour although I have a feeling he pulled a few concerning some of his ex-lovers. I can only imagine that the writing of this was both cathartic and nerveracking. Nothing is held back.

I agree with another poster that I would like to know more about how Anthony became a child actor, but the book never claimed to be about that. It covers exactly what it says it does. The evolution of Rent from Workshop, to Broadway Hit, to successful film; and his own personal experiences dealing with his love life and the loss of his mother.

I would recommend this book to anyone who feels that life's challenges should be met head on rather than swept under the rug.