The Wizard of Oz and Other Narcissists: Coping with the One-Way Relationship in Work, Love, and Family (Paperback)

~ Eleanor Payson (Author)
Key Phrases: good witch, toxic narcissism, covert narcissist, Only Hada Heart, Kansas Anymore, Bad Witch (more...)

Editorial Reviews

Review

"For Some Time I have looked for a very readable book on living with narcissism that also had clarity about addiction and codependency. Eleanor Payson has written an easy to understand guide to navigate one's way out of the labyrinth that narcissism makes...Four stars for a readable, useful book therapists can give their patients." Patrick J. Carnes, Ph.D. author of Out of the Shadows --Patrick J. Carnes, Ph.D. author of Out of the Shadows

"You will recognize the narcissistic personality disorder so well described by Payson as an all too common affliction among those who wield great political and corporate power in contemporary society. This book is a useful guide to recognizing and confronting the reality, which is a first step toward nullifying the power and influence of the afflicted over our lives." David C. Korten, Ph.D. author of The Great Turning: From Empire to Earth Community and When Corporations Rule the World --David C. Korten, Ph.D. author of The Great Turning: From Empire to Earth Community and When Corporations Rule the World

Product Description

Every day headlines are filled with examples of narcissistic individuals in positions of power who are nothing more than impostors plundering and wrecking havoc on the lives of others. From the financial barons of Wall Street to our elected officials in government, we are confronted daily with narcissists and the self-serving systems that enable them. Helping people reclaim their lives from this sinister exploitative force is the mission behind Payson's book, The Wizard of Oz and Other Narcissists: Coping with the One-Way Relationship in Work, Love, and Family. Using simple metaphors from the American classic, The Wizard of Oz, Payson illustrates how Dorothy's journey captures all the seductive illusions and challenges that occur when we encounter the narcissist. Empowering the reader with the ABCs of unhealthy narcissism and the unique problems that occur when a person becomes involved with the narcissist, Payson gives step-by-step practical tools to identify, protect, and heal from these destructive relationships. Largely un-addressed in the psychology and self-help literature, this ground breaking book offers hope and help to those who have been drawn into these devastating relationships. She includes illuminating case studies that identify the problems that occur in the different types of relationships, from co-workers, to friends, to parents, to lovers. Readers employing these insights and skills will find new abilities to identify and protect against the narcissist's manipulations and take back control of their lives.

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Product Details

• Paperback: 187 pages
• Publisher: Julian Day Publications (October 1, 2002)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0972072837
• ISBN-13: 978-0972072830
• Product Dimensions: 8.9 x 5.9 x 0.5 inches
• Shipping Weight: 11.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (93 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #2,473 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

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  #3 in	Books > Health, Mind & Body > Mental Health > Abuse & Self Defense > Sexual Abuse
  #4 in	Books > Health, Mind & Body > Mental Health > Personality Disorders
  #32 in	Books > Health, Mind & Body > Relationships > Interpersonal Relations

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

157 of 159 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars This book helped me understand so much., October 24, 2003

By	John B. Collins "John Collins the Architect" (Denver, CO USA) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

As a 48 year old guy who has been working his way out of narcissistic codependence for about 15 years, this book clarified several issues I wasn't even aware of. Specifically, Ms. Payson deals squarely with the lack of self-esteem that a narcissist will imbue in a codependent's life. (The narcissist says, "I'm OK, you've got a long way to go and you'll never get there anyway.) Another thing is the insidious, clandestine way in which NPD's work their sordid magic. An NPD is someone with narcissistic personality disorder. The author goes through a 9 item list of the pitfalls and traps that keep a codependent codependent. Ms. Payson also explains in depth how being in a relationship with an NPD can happen in your love life, your work life, and your family life. Often these adult situations are a reliving of the same type of relationship from one's childhood. So much is clearer now and I feel much steadfast in my resolve to overcome this disorder. I have reassessed many of my friendships and old situations only to realize that I was unwittingly reliving my past.
Mrs. Payson's language is clear, warm-hearted, and exact. She uses examples based on experiences of clients from her practice. All in all, I highly recommend this book to those who suffer from narcissistic co-dependence and those who know someone who does.

237 of 247 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars a must read, November 29, 2002

By	carolyn daitch,ph.d (Detroit) - See all my reviews

This reviewer is delighted to offer appreciation for a most comprehensive coverage of the interpersonal impact of narcissim on relationships. Ms. Payson directed her book toward the lay person, who has struggled in relationship with the narcissist. Yet as a therapist, I believe it should be mandatory reading for my professional colleagues. The book is well organized and cleverly structured with the Wizard of Oz theme.It covers the subject in depth, yet it is easy to understand.The author offers the reader perspective on a variety of relationships(spouse, adult child, employee, friend) and clearly describes how this prevalent character disorder can have an injurious impact. She leaves the reader with hope, providing concrete suggestions for protection of the self and for minimizing the wounding that can arise from the narcissitic relationship. Everyone I know who has read this book has sung its praises.

99 of 100 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A Must Read for Those Affected by Fallout, June 27, 2004

By A Customer

Since discovering the roots of narcissism in my world one year ago, I have read a great deal on the subject. This is, hands down, the most helpful book I have read to date. Most books on the market focus on identification of narcissism, or validation of those individuals left in their wake (both important concepts). But after that, we need real help! This book offers the most realistic and cogent look at what can actually be done after the damage is done. As the child and ex-spouse of narcissists, I appreciated the author gently leading me to examine my own culpability and enabling behaviors, the fallout in my life, and most importantly, how to begin undoing the damage and move on.