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6 of 6 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Should be required reading for all pastors and counselors, April 24, 2008
This book was quite an eye-opener for me. It is the first hand account from a woman who was brutally beaten by her pastor husband. She explains the dilemmas faced by Christians in these situations who believe that divorce is wrong and are willing to risk their lives for those beliefs by staying in an abusive relationship. She does a good job presenting the problem in many churches where the staff seem to focus on getting the wife to not provoke the husband, rather than using church discipline to correct the out-of-control husband. But as the author explains, the abuse is going to occur whether there's real provocation or not. It is the abuser who is the problem, not the victim.
The book gave some excellent guidance in how to talk to someone you think is in this situation and how best to help. Although the material is mostly from a biblical perspective, the advice it provides would be useful for anyone, regardless of religion. For example, I was surprised to find that the trite comments we think are helpful and encouraging, are instead just the opposite. And she explains why women are so relunctant to go to the police or their pastors for help. This book should be in every church library and required reading for all pastors and counselors!
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5 of 5 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
A Battered Woman's Faith by author of Supreme Love: A Battered Woman's True Story, September 2, 2007
Very informative book from a battered woman who has lived it and questions the church's doctrine and attitude for abusive marriages. I really liked the illustrations and quotes in front of each chapter. I read with the same feeling of bewilderment she feels when the church states the woman has to submit to her husband and is sometimes blamed for his misbehavior. The author is not afraid to criticize the church and its leaders in this discussion about domestic violence and the church. Her answer is God. In my own intense struggle in trying to find answers for my own abusive marriage, I lamented that I never went to the church for help. After reading this, I can see they wouldn't have been able to help me anyways. However, there needs to be changes in the churchs and it is up to battered women like myself and Jocelyn to educate and inform.
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9 of 11 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
A Word From the Author, July 5, 2007
Fear, desperation, pain, humiliation, and confusion are constant companions to all women who experience abuse of any sort at the hands of their husbands. But the evangelical Christian woman finds herself faced with the unique burden of also needing to know the specific will of God concerning her situation.
I call this a unique burden, because assimilating all the conflicting information she receives from books, well-intentioned Christian friends, family members and spiritual leaders can leave her head spinning--and her ego spiraling...in precisely the wrong direction. To make matters worse, the counsel she receives often ranges from disappointing at best to life-threatening at worst.
The practice of hiding, ignoring and even perpetuating the emotional and physical abuse of women is still rampant within evangelical Christian fellowships, and as slow as our legal systems have been in dealing with violence against women by their husbands, the church has been even slower.
Abuse among Christians often creates a cruel catch-22, as many evangelicals view recommending separation or divorce as unscriptural, but then view the battered/abused woman with contempt for staying in the situation and tolerating the abuse.
Victims quickly pick up on this hypocritical attitude and either leave the church altogether--or begin hiding the abuse. Either way, they are forfeiting the spiritual guidance and emotional support they so desperately need.
The Christian woman whose spirit is being crushed and whose life is endangered by domestic violence needs straight answers--not unrealistic expectations or clichéd, stereotypical platitudes. In this book she will get straight answers, clear scriptural direction and some tough challenges from one who has been there, but is there no longer.
Ministers, friends and family of the abused will find the book informative, useful and challenging as well.
Spousal abuse and domestic violence was not introduced into my life until I reached my late thirties, so I understand both sides of the issue very well. Prior to the abuse, no one could have convinced me that my attitude toward battered and abused women was both casual and condescending, or that I would ever tolerate it myself--yet it was, and I did.
As both a minister and a woman who has experienced abuse, I feel I can contribute a unique, personal perspective to the small but growing data base of books concerned with the issue of domestic violence.
My own experience, together with research and the feedback I have received from many other battered women, has convinced me that, even in these "enlightened" times we live in, the battered/abused woman is still very much alone and confused in her struggle.
It is my prayer that this book will provide answers, bring hope, and prove to be of practical value to both the battered/abused woman and to those she is most likely to turn to for help.
Is God a Chauvinist? The Bible and Women: A Complete Look
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