Customer Reviews

Woman's Inhumanity to Woman

5 star:		(33)
4 star:		(7)
3 star:		(2)
2 star:		(1)
1 star:		(3)

 

 

For a long time I thought I was an oddity for feeling cautious around women, particularly women in the workplace, and that my experiences of betrayal and cruelty at the hands of women were fairly unique. Margaret Atwood's "Cat's Eye" helped me to understand that my experiences were not mine alone; this book went one step further, not only giving additional anecdotes, but also explaining some of the psychological reasons for woman's inhumanity to woman. Especially fascinating were the chapter on females in various species and the analysis of the mother-daughter relationship. Every page of this book had me thinking, "Yes, that's so true!" It also made me examine my own less-than-ideal behavior toward other women, my inclination to judge women more harshly than men, and resolve to improve on these fronts. Toward the end of the book, Chesler provides a set of guidelines for changing women's behavior to other women -- which was very helpful, given the enormity of the problem.

The book does have some weaknesses. For example, certain passages are repeated almost verbatim, and the house copyeditor must have been on vacation throughout production of the book. Content-wise, Chesler does tend to oversimplify and generalize certain situations. I took particular issue with the recurring theme that women always resent the smartest, prettiest, boldest woman in the room, and find a way to turn against her. I don't think it can be written off simply as 'resentment.' Probably it has more to do with the "smartest, prettiest, etc" exhibiting a superiority complex than women envying what they do not have, or have less of. Humility about one's gifts is just as desirable in women as it is in men, and lack of it seems just as obnoxious in women as it does in men.

Other weaknesses include Chesler's frequent anecdotes about her own betrayal at the hands of other women. I kept getting the feeling that she was using the book as a means to publicly address these women (although she did use pseudonyms), and "get the last word in."

However it is worthwhile to overlook these flaws. The book has so much to teach.

Woman's Inhumanity to Woman is an important new addition to the feminist canon, analyzing underlying dynamics between women and exposing realities of what has and hasn't worked within feminism. The uncomfortable truths of the human condition with which Phyllis Chesler engages have too often been silenced and suppressed--subsumed beneath feminist rhetoric--leading to unnecessary antagonism and divisiveness that sabotages true solidarity and sisterhood. Through Chesler's dynamic diagnosis and powerful prescriptions, this book empowers readers to move forward in forging a movement that can authentically embody feminist ideals.

Chesler wonderfully weaves in compelling examples from psychology and primatology, folklore and fairytales, literature and life in order to illuminate the points and principles she is making. She doesn't pull punches in revealing hard truths, but she doesn't end her analysis at critique--she furnishes concrete examples of how sisterhood functions at its finest, and provides proactive approaches to more ethical behavior, which will enhance women's ability to flourish independently and in relationship with one another.

The clarity of Chesler's thinking and the resonance of her writing make Woman's Inhumanity to Woman a riveting read--and one that just might change the way you understand and engage with the world we live in.

Phyllis Chesler's book is highly readable and she has some good points n her book. As a black man I may not be in the target audience for this book neverless O still found it to be a good read. However reading page after page of the shady things that the women in the book had done to each other was kind of depressingI think it is good to know what people are capable of but to dwell on it can be bad for your soul.

Some other revewers did mention that most of the anecdotes are subjective and heresy, also we are only read onesided views of events. However it is still good to hear those thigs. Though as I was reading about how women can be backstabbing, envious, man stealing career wrecking one-woman-uping :-)and otherwise conniving and power hungry i couldn't help but think men do these very same things too. Though we may tyr and destroy our rivals in a verly slightly different fashion.

I think many of these types of behavior are part of human nature everyone wants to be the top dog and I think anyone who expects women not to have many of the same drives as men does not understand human nature and is actually dehumanizing women by expecting them to not have the same complex natures characteristics as men.

I will also add that if I was to think that every black man and woman I met is my friend and will look out for me it would be very foolish. Why should any woman expect all women to care about her?

Though men and women have some differences I have always believed that in many ways we are alike and expecting anyone to treat you right simply 'cos they are the same gender/race/ethnicty/religion/whatever as you will get you in a lot of trouble

Other things that I was able to learn more about Virginia Wolf Florence Nightingale Sojourner Truth and other remarkable women. This book also did remind me that though many of us don't know how to get it we want this world to be better but we don't know how to get so it is best to have patience and empathy for people and that the whole human family is suffering

This is one of the most important books any woman can read. I think all women, especially young women, should be required to read this book.
Phyllis Chesler shows amazing courage and insight. She writes about a subject no one wants to deal with- Women and their maltreatment of other women. This is something that all women must confront. It is a dirty little secret which needs to be dealt with in our time in order to erradicate this phenonmenon from future generations.
I feel the most sexist and patriarchal attitude is that women are "too loving and too nice" to be inhuman. Women are not one dimensional cut-outs. We are complex beings with complex issues.
To see women as either all good, or all bad is not helpful to women. We must see the how's and why's of women's inhumanity to other women, especially the mistreatment of daughters by mothers.
This book is a treasure.

I am glad to be able to recommend a wonderful new book by the noted feminist psychologist and author, Phyllis Chesler. Chesler's new book, Woman's Inhumanity to Woman, is a brilliant exploration of the many ways in which women may interact badly with other women, be they mothers, daughters, sisters, friends, co-workers, employees, etc. Chesler explores and explodes the myth of sisterhood. She describes how women really treat each other and why they do so. However, Chesler does not merely describe reality. She also offers guidelines as to how women may improve their interrelationships, almost a "halakhic" (Jewish ethical path) which, if women follow will result in a kinder and better world for all. I recommend her book with a full heart, and hope that many people will read it, men included, for it is geared to tikkun olam. (The healing repair of the world).

Rivka Haut, Co-author of Daughters of the King: Women and the Synagogue and Women of the Wall: Claiming Sacred Ground at Jerusalem's Holiest Site.

when you see a title that is so seductive to the female psyche, it is difficult to ignore. For any woman who has ever lived outside of isolated confinement, read this book, understand its intentions for what it speaks, and devote at least an ear to every other women you come into contact with, nice or nasty, for you have not walked in their shoes. Women are complex animals, and this book will demonstrate not only human, but other species actions towards other females positive and negative.

Phyllis shares her own demons of this sometimes unhappy, brutal relationship dynamic, as well as the happy. This book is not for the sake of bashing all females, but for the sake of calling out to them, to open their eyes, and be better to one another. There are many personal examples that will come to mind as you read through the pages, saying to yourself..."hmm, sounds all too familiar." Upon presenting my own mother with a copy of the book, she gulped and said, "do I have to read it?" Like medicine for the soul, she knew where I was coming from, no question about that.

I recommend this book to every mother and daughter, every sister to sister, and every man(maybe going out on a limb with this!) who would like to read a work in which 20 years of one womans time captures the many facades of the female, the good, bad and the ugly.

Chessler's book, almost exhaustively researched and very courageous, is a must read for women entering the workforce or for those already in it who can't figure out why fellow females are tripping them up. I've been lucky and had some fantastic women bosses and colleagues but my worst, most treacherous boss of all, was a female. The many anecdotes about abusive mothers and co-workers can be depressing reading but the pervasive fact that many competent, creative, talented and professional women are consistently being done in by jealous females is a serious problem we as a society must face. (One of the scariest stories was of a competent worker framed and then jailed as the result of orchestrations by an envious, insecure female supervisor) Chessler's descriptions of women's group behavior will be familiar to many of us. Her concluding chapter on the need for psychological ethics raises important points about how we all, men and women, can and must address this problem.

Phyllis Chesler has regaled us all with her latest book, and has indeed surpassed even the most demanding of expectations in exposing, analyzing, critiquing, explaining--and, in some ways, resolving--this oft-ignored but prevalent and difficult aspect of females and feminism.
The introduction, a compelling and complete exposee in itself, is also the appetizing first course of a grand literary repast of epic and stunning temptations, each self-contained and satisfying, intensely scholarly yet written to reach a vast audience. From religion to myth to sexism to psychology, each chapter presents a perspective that we never even imagined to so influence women's relationships with other women.
This wonderful new contribution to the literature of feminism, of psychology, of life, is a must-read for all women...and men.

In this brilliant book, Chesler shatters the myths of her own feminist movement. In fact it is only by illuminating the truth that she remains loyal to her principles. By using extensive research, Chesler is able to analyze the relationships between women and moves from class to class, youth to old age, and culture to culture. She is able to explain how women internalize patriarchy and use it against themselves and other women. Chesler also looks at the age-old relationships between mothers and daughters, and from sister to sister and explains the psychology behind it all. She also looks at women in the workplace, and generally how women have unrealistic expectations for one another, judge each other more harshly, and more easily respect male authority. Chesler also adds some advise as to how women can stop this cycle, and begin to respect each other and work together or at least compete fairly, rather than continue to use gossip and indirect aggression to, sometimes,literally kill one another. This book was especially interesting to read as a feminist man. It allowed me to understand what I never could before: How women defeat their own kind, and are occassionally just as bad as the men I know.

Phyllis Chesler's latest work has been in the "works" for over two decades--I know, because Phyllis was extrememly supporting of my work in the 80s--Woman to Woman--From Sabotage to Support (New Horizon Press).

This latest edition of women in the workplace issues takes sabotage, undermining and inhumanity from woman to another woman to the next level.

Woman's Inhumanity to Woman belongs on every resource shelf that has a true interest in women's equality within and outside of the workplace, in relationships, in friendships and within the family unit--not just undermining from men, but from other women. Chesler has delivered a masterpiece based on decades of research (hers and others) and interviews.

Do women undermine other women? The answer, painfully, is yes--the subtle and covert practices of too many women only manifests the issue. Only when women recognize tht they too are players, will true support of other women with no strings attached become the rule versus the exception.