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Women Don't Ask: Negotiation and the Gender Divide
 
 

Women Don't Ask: Negotiation and the Gender Divide (Hardcover)

~ (Author), (Author) "Heather's response revealed a kind of fatalistic dismay: This fund-I never knew of its existence..." (more)
Key Phrases: other negotiator, stereotype threat, gender schemas, United States, Bully Broads, African Americans (more...)
4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (28 customer reviews)

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  Paperback, February 26, 2007 $10.20 $8.54 $8.64

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Price For All Three: $46.27

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Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review

Men ask for what they want twice as often as women do and initiate negotiation four times more, report economist Linda Babcock and writer Sara Laschever in the footnoted but engaging Women Don't Ask. With vivid research examples drawn from cradle, classroom and playground, the authors detail culture as the culprit in discouraging women from negotiating on their own behalf.

Men, socialized in a "scrappier paradigm," learn to pursue and energize their goals at work and home. The two key elements are control and recognizing opportunity. For example, girls, rewarded for hard work, learn to see control as outside of themselves while boys are urged to take charge. Boys are schooled to recognize opportunity and girls to choose safe targets.

Several chapters are focused on prescription; how women can decrease anxiety, anticipate roadblocks, plan counter-moves and resist conceding too much or too soon. The authors shine in their examination of culture and gender--and their optimism about how women can counter the culture. They falter whenever they adopt the "sexes-from-a-different-planet" fallacy. Most notably, in a chapter that details a "female approach" to negotiating. Overall, the authors have created a smart summary of research and used it to affirm every woman's urgent right to ask. --Barbara Mackoff



From Publishers Weekly

Babcock and Laschever, contrary to their book's title, do ask a series of questions: Why do most women see a negotiation as an automatic fight instead of a chance to get what they deserve? Why are women afraid to ask for what they want in the workplace? And perhaps most importantly, why don't women feel entitled to ask for it? True to their academic backgrounds, Babcock (a Carnegie Mellon economist) and writer Laschever seek their answers in a series of gender psychology and economics studies (some done by them, most done by others). They cite numerous studies indicating that women are socialized to feel pushy and overbearing if they pursue their ideal situation when it spells potential conflict with employers or co-workers. The authors also use anecdotal evidence to support their claim that women are taught to feel like every negotiation is a monumental threat to a personal relationship, rather than a fact of business life (the view held by most men, they say). Their argument has important practical ramifications: the authors cite one study that estimates "a woman who routinely negotiates her salary increases will earn over one million dollars more by the time she retires than a woman who accepts what she's offered every time without asking for more." Babcock and Laschever's work is a great resource for anyone who doubts there is still a great disparity between the salary earnings of men and women in comparable professions. Alas, it isn't as successful at eloquence as it is at academic rigor.
Copyright 2003 Reed Business Information, Inc.

Product Details

  • Hardcover: 240 pages
  • Publisher: Princeton University Press (September 2, 2003)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 069108940X
  • ISBN-13: 978-0691089409
  • Product Dimensions: 9.3 x 6.1 x 0.8 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 1.1 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (28 customer reviews)
  • Amazon.com Sales Rank: #218,480 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

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Customer Reviews

28 Reviews
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Average Customer Review
4.5 out of 5 stars (28 customer reviews)
 
 
 
 
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

 
20 of 23 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars Familiar, But Well-Supported, March 6, 2005
By Ruth Edlund "dark goddess of replevin" (King County, Washington:) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)      
There isn't anything surprising in here to any woman who has been around the business world for a while. However, the book's real value is that it provides empirical evidence to support Everywoman's anecdotal observations.

What I found most useful about this book is evidence cited that women's "tend and befriend," cooperative approach to negotiation results in greater gains in the long run, in part because of women's ability to reframe. It also confirmed my impression that women are more successful in business when they soften their mode of delivery (although not their message).

The authors further reframe the scope of "negotiation" to include women's personal, including homemaking, lives, to remind us all that equality should not end at the thresholds to our homes.

Ultimately, every negotiator has to find his or her own personal style. This book made me feel just that much better about including lipstick and high heels in my arsenal.
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25 of 30 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Highly Recommended!, February 29, 2004
The debate on gender equity often emphasizes that women earn less than men with similar experience. Authors Linda Babcock and Sara Laschever say that while women may indeed be the victims of external forces, they also to some extent may suffer from their own inability, unwillingness or aversion to negotiate or make demands. In fact, men negotiate four times as frequently as women, and get better results. Men are much more apt to make demands and ask for benefits, pay increases and so forth. Men make more money not necessarily because the system is overtly discriminatory - though it well may be - but because men demand more. The book tends to belabor its point, and sometimes the evidence does not seem as well-presented as it might have been, but We found that it sheds useful light on a knotty social problem. Perhaps it will spur more women to fight - or to continue to fight - on their own behalf.
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18 of 21 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Powerful!!, February 4, 2004
By D. Raymond (Weld County Colorado) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   
I read this book in almost one sitting. It has compelling factual data and riveting anecdotes. But, unlike Backlash, by Susan Faludi, which was almost totally negative, the authors also look at women's strengths in negotiation, and give some ideas for how to put their ideas into action.

It's not a how-to-negotiate book; I've spent the last 23 years practicing corporate law, negotiating sophisticated legal transactions and running an in-house department. This book goes beyond "how to" into "why". Essential reading for any woman!
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Most Recent Customer Reviews

4.0 out of 5 stars Empower yourself by reading a few pages before negotiating!
Every woman should read this book before asking for a raise. The studies conducted are a harsh, yet empowering reminder that men often get raises, promotions, projects at work,... Read more
Published 20 months ago by R. Sullivan

4.0 out of 5 stars Good set up for "Ask For It"
This book does a wonderful job of sharing all the research which explains why women are less likely to negotiate, less likely to ask for what they want, and less likely to get... Read more
Published 20 months ago by SF Native

5.0 out of 5 stars Informative and Readable
Another in my series of reading books that my wife has left lying around the house. This book studies why women don't seem to ask for things as frequently as men do - and the... Read more
Published 23 months ago by Richard Berger

4.0 out of 5 stars Women don't ask: the high cost of avoiding negotiation and postive strategies for change
Babcock and Laschever have presented an excellent -- thoroughly researched and well-written -- discussion of the rationale behind, and costs of, the problems encountered when... Read more
Published on November 10, 2007 by CM Taylor

2.0 out of 5 stars Women Don't Ask
To say I was a little disappointed with this book is probably an understatement.
I was expecting a hybrid of the psychology behind why women don't ask and coaching or... Read more
Published on October 13, 2007 by S. Stephens-Green

4.0 out of 5 stars Eye opening
I am interviewing for a post-graduate job and I asked a successful woman in my field for some negotiating advice. She recommended this book. Read more
Published on January 21, 2007 by M. Tremblay

5.0 out of 5 stars Should be required reading for women before interviewing
This book is full of eye-opening thoughts that I found so crucial to my own sense of empowerment as I faced post-graduate school job negotiation opportunities. Read more
Published on January 9, 2007 by Oafie

5.0 out of 5 stars Ladies, you'll love this book!
I love this book! A must read for any career woman. It was recommended by my mentor at work. I wish I had read it earlier in my career, but I'm thankful I've read it now.
Published on January 4, 2007 by B. Casillas

5.0 out of 5 stars Interesting read supported by substantial data
Women Don't Ask is a book that attempts to discover the reasons behind the documented inequity between women and men in the workplace. Read more
Published on December 29, 2006 by Cynthia S. Lyman

3.0 out of 5 stars Women Don't Know..........
I just felt that this book only told about the situation, (which I do find is the case in my experience as a women--basically I shut down when it comes to negotiation, and my... Read more
Published on November 3, 2006 by Lisaannevictoria

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