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Women, Sex, and Addiction: A Search for Love and Power Paperback – May 29, 1990

4.7 out of 5 stars 41 customer reviews

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Paperback, May 29, 1990
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Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Certain women (and men) use sex addictively as a substitute for love, nurture or power, according to Minneapolis psychologist Kasl. "Crammed with case histories, diagrams and therapeutic suggestions, this study draws on her work with members of two organizations: Sex Addicts Anonymous, and Co-Dependents of Sex Addicts, a group for partners of so-called sex addicts," wrote PW.
Copyright 1990 Reed Business Information, Inc.


"Probably the single most significant text to date regarding women and sex addiction." -- --Edward Armstrong, National Association of Sex Addiction Problems

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Product Details

  • Paperback: 416 pages
  • Publisher: HarperCollins; Reprint edition (May 29, 1990)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0060973218
  • ISBN-13: 978-0060973216
  • Product Dimensions: 8 x 5.3 x 1 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 13.6 ounces
  • Average Customer Review: 4.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (41 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #247,724 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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More About the Author

There are 21 translations of 42 foreign editions with 800,000 in print of Charlotte Kasl's books which include some titles such as; the If The Buddha series, Women's Love, Sex, and Addiction, Many Roads One Journey, Finding Joy, A Home For The Heart, Yes You Can!, and more. Please check out additional books and articles available by Charlotte Kasl on Amazon.

Charlotte Kasl has an M.A. in Piano from The University of Michigan, and a Ph.D. in Counseling from Ohio University in 1982. She was a Licensed Psychologist in Minnesota for 15 years and is currently a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor in Montana. She is a Certified Addiction Specialist in the areas of chemical dependency and sexuality and has had a private psychotherapy practice for more than 30 years. She is the author of nine books and numerous articles.

Dr. Kasl has conducted a wide variety of workshops on relationships, addiction, sexuality, spirituality, community, healing from incest and abuse, casting out internalized oppression, preventing burn out, quantum healing, empowerment, and finding joy, both in the United States and abroad. Her groundbreaking book Many Roads, One Journey: Moving Beyond the 12 Steps, published in 1992, introduced a 16-step empowerment approach for overcoming addiction that focuses on finding one's voice, building confidence, taking action on one's behalf, and understanding addiction in a cultural context. It has been used throughout the United States and Canada, as well as Europe, to assist in overcoming trauma, addiction, and depression.

In 1987, she was part of a task force funded by the Department of Human Services in Minnesota to create a model treatment program for chemically dependent women. She was on the advisory board of The Women's Recovery Network, The Women's Action Alliance for Alcohol and Drug Education, and invited twice by the National Center for Substance Abuse Prevention to participate in a synthesis conference to make recommendations on the needs of women. She has consulted with numerous treatment programs and served on several advisory boards, such as The Organization for Secular Sobriety, known as Save OurSelves (SOS).

Dr. Kasl is also a founding member of ATTACH, The Association for the Teaching and Training in the Attachment of Children. In 1997, she received a Lifetime Achievement Award from the National Council on Sexual Addiction and Compulsivity, (now knows as SASH Society for the Advancement of Sexual Health) for her work with women and sexuality. In 2000, If the Buddha Dated was one of five finalists for the National Books for Better Living Awards. In addition, she was listed in Self magazine as one of 50 "sage" psychologists in the United States.

In her psychotherapy therapy practice, Dr. Kasl takes an empowering approach by helping people address the core issues underlying depression, anxiety, addictions, and relationship difficulties. She works with numerous therapeutic approaches, such as ego state therapy, hypnosis, quantum psychology, EMDR, cognitive therapy, and emotionally focused therapy for couples. She is also an avid hiker, pianist, and has been a Reiki Master Healer since 1983.


Customer Reviews

Top Customer Reviews

Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
As an addictions counselor who specializes in women's issues, I have found this book amazingly insightful into the addictive and co-addictive experience of women. Everyone I know who has read this book considers it no less than pheomenal (and often times a life-saver). It should be required reading for any woman in recovery. Even those who initially identify themselves as "only" abusing alcohol/drugs/food have found their core issues reflected in this book. Substance abuse is simply a more socially acceptable mask to hide issues of unhealthy sexuality. People don't ususally talk about these core issues, even with a counselor. Sometimes you have to read this kind of information privately first and assimilate it at your own pace before you are ready to discuss it with another human being. This is a great book to read to get that work started.
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"Women, Sex, and Addiction" is the best book on addiction for women that I've ever read,(...).
What I found especially unique and valuable about this book is that it looks at both sex addiction and sexual codependency (though I hate the term) and shows the reader how the two extremes share essential core belief systems. Unlike other well-known sex addiction experts, Kasl does not rush to judge or label anyone. Both partners of sex addicts and sex addicts will find this book extremely useful in their recovery. Men who are recovering from sex addiction or who are partners with sex addicts can also find a great deal of insight in this book.
This book takes a holistic view of women, sex, and addiction, tying together issues such as depression, food, alcohol, sex, societal oppression, spirituality, body image, and low self-esteem so that a person can look at their recovery as a whole journey of discovery, not discrete steps or programs for women who struggle with substance abuse, multiple addictions, relationships, etc.
Many women who find themselves struggling with their own addictions and the addictions of loved ones (particularly sex addiction, obviously) will find this book incredibly valuable.
I found myself appreciating Charlotte Kasl's intelligence and honesty throughout. While somewhat disjointed in chapters wth personal stories, the writing overall is excellent.
She is one of the few sex addiction experts who is willing to include stories about people for whom the 12-step model was not a perfect fit for recovery, and she is courageous enough to publicly admit some of the weaknesses of the 12-step model while acknowledging its value to many people as well. She interviews many women in both SAA and COSA who come from diverse backgrounds and have varied experiences with these and other 12-step programs. I am so, so grateful that this book is here for me and other people struggling with addictions!
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I really enjoyed this look at sexual addiction and codependency in women, and how the two are intertwined. Indeed, I enjoyed the entire holistic approach to these twin problems. Much of what Dr. Kasl said really hit home, and I found I gained a lot of insight into my own problems. I also liked that this book treated sexuality as a friend, and something to be treasured. It's too easy for people in recovery from sexual addiction and codependency to ignore their sexual side altogether, and that is a dangerous place to be. This book should be required reading in sexual addiction 12-step groups, for both men and women.
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"Women Sex & Addiction" is not a feminist, man hating book. It is an exquisitly written book based on the experience of many people with a refreshing and accurate description of codependency. It offers an alternative thought process to the 12 step programs, which rarely address the true level of struggle within people. AA is primarily for alcoholism, but alcoholism is only a symtom of what goes on inside. If you try to talk about what you really feel at an AA meeting you are told that you suffer from self pity or that you need to "poop or get off the pot", which is an inadequate solution to anything. This book invites you to look at the real struggle in life, which is the search for love and power. If you are a woman you often have to prove yourself and power seems elusive. I am not a feminist but as a woman I have been treated unfairly all my life merely because I am female. In terms of being human, this book addresses the search for love through sex, drugs & codependency. Many; male &or female have had sex under the guise of "love" or under the need for connecting with another, despite the fact they know the end result will be unfufilling. These are real issues. Not only does this book cover these critical topics it also touches on bulemia, anorexia, lesbian, homosexual & the male-female power struggle. My favorite section is the discussion of relationships and the light factor. The density of the personality of people we choose to spend time with, how it affects us and possibly the need to let go of some.
Lastly, the book provides some couragous steps for changing. An appropriate ending to an awe- inspiring and enlightening book that I thank the author for having the insight to write. Please write more on the recovery process Charlotte, I need more. With thanks.
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Format: Paperback
Freedom from Relationship/ Co-Dependency/ Sexual Addictions is the greatest asset to this book. I started reading it when my relationship ended with a man I cared for. My bad relationship triggered many unrealistic emotions inside myself that caused me a lot of self damage by acting out and dating guys that were all bad for me because of my low self image since the break-up.

I couldn't see it at the time but I had become Addicted.

Thanks to a friend and this book my healing began two years ago and I feel so much better about myself and about my relationships with others. This book is a MUST READ!

Study it, learn it, then be well...
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