Women Who Love Men Who Kill [Paperback]

Sheila Isenberg (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: April 2000

"Author Sheila Isenberg provides a fascinating look at women'compelled todance with the masters of death'women so obsessed with convicted murders that they marry them, often giving up everything else in their lives, including their children, to fulfill their deepest fantasies. Isenberg interviewed dozens of these women, some of their men, as well as correcitns professionals, psychiatrists, and psychologists. The profile that emerges is of 'little girls lost,' women who were damaged by painful childhoods who are living in a fantasy world, in love not with a real man but with an illusion based on denial. Isenberg's skills in getting those women to reveal themselvs, her ability to present them as sympathetic and understandable, and her synthesis of the material they provided make for a engrossing report."Kirkus Review

Editorial Reviews

From Library Journal

Journalist Isenberg writes about the little-known and unexplored phenomenon of women who seek and fall in love with one of society's most abusive elements: murderers. Assembling information from interviews, magazine and newspaper articles, television appearances, etc., Isenberg attempts to explain how these women (who are themselves often victims of abuse) feel compassion and a sense of power over the killer as long as he is safely locked behind bars. Her highly readable investigation is geared more toward popular psychology and true crime fans than people looking for in-depth psychological and statistical research.
- Marguerite Mroz, Baltimore Cty. P.L.
Copyright 1991 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

From Kirkus Reviews

Journalist Isenberg provides a fascinating look at women ``compelled to dance with the masters of death''--women so obsessed with convicted murderers that they marry them, giving up all else in their lives, including their children, to fulfill their deepest fantasies. To find out about these women, Isenberg interviewed dozens of them, plus prison officials, police, psychiatrists, and psychologists. The profile that emerges is a sad one: ``little girls lost, reared in dysfunctional families where they were the victims of abuse at the hands of harsh dictatorial fathers aided by passive mothers.'' Damaged by their painful childhoods, they live in a fantasy world, in love not with a real man but with an illusion based on denial. Marrying a convicted killer is a way of having a relationship without ever having to get too close, Isenberg says--and it's a way of being in control of a powerful man as well. Serial killers and mass murderers, such as David Berkowitz, Ted Bundy, John Wayne Gacy, and Hillside Stranglers Kenneth Bianchi and Angelo Buono, offer a special bonus--the thrill of fame. Since many of these women have low self-esteem, the killer's notoriety provides a sense of worth: The bigger his crime, the more important she feels. Isenberg's skills in getting these women to reveal themselves, her ability to present them as sympathetic and understandable, and her synthesis of the material they provided make for an engrossing report. -- Copyright ©1991, Kirkus Associates, LP. All rights reserved. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

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Product Details

• Paperback: 244 pages
• Publisher: IUniverse; 3 edition (April 2000)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0595003990
• ISBN-13: 978-0595003990
• Product Dimensions: 9.2 x 6.1 x 0.7 inches
• Shipping Weight: 13.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 3.2 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (15 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,255,492 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Sheila Isenberg's latest book is Muriel's War, a biography of American heiress and World War II heroine Muriel Gardiner. Her last book, A Hero of Our Own, a biography of Varian Fry published by Random House, was named a notable book by The St. Louis Post-Dispatch and is featured by the United States Holocaust Memorial Museum. Sheila is also the author of the groundbreaking Women Who Love Men Who Kill (Simon & Schuster 1991); co-author with the late William M. Kunstler of My Life as a Radical Lawyer (Carol Publishing 1994); and collaborator with Tracey Brown on The Life and Times of Ron Brown, (William Morrow 1998).

Sheila's books have been translated into several languages and she has appeared frequently in multiple media platforms, including NPR, CNN, 20/20, Today, Good Morning America, and others, plus in U.S. and international newspapers and magazines.

Born in New York City, Sheila graduated from Brooklyn College with a B.A. in English and attended the graduate school of Hunter College. A former reporter and press secretary, she is now adjunct professor of English at Marist College. web link: www.sheilaisenberg.com

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

4 of 4 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Reads like a novel but as useful as a textbook, April 9, 2001

By A Customer

This review is from: Women Who Love Men Who Kill (Paperback)

In my job as a social worker I have encountered women like the ones that Isenberg describes in her book. I found her book to be insightful and, although it reads like a page-turner, I find myself referring to it frequently in my work.

6 of 7 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars the real story, April 12, 2001

By A Customer

This review is from: Women Who Love Men Who Kill (Paperback)

Women Who Love Men Who Kill is a fantastic read. It sheds enormous light on the lives of women who go to the edge and fall in love with murderers. They don't just fall in love with convicted killers, they support them, provide them with all their needs while in prison and advocate diligently for their release. The author generates profiles of these women and provides analytic insights about their motives. This is forensic science with a behavioral approach written for the lay person by a writer who knows her subject. The book is shocking, exciting and intense. It evokes the reader's concerns about how these things are possible. After reading this book you will know why.

3 of 3 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Looking Back..., March 1, 2008

By 

ALMOSTA Rd "MarshMellowed" (Lowcountry, SC) - See all my reviews

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This review is from: Women Who Love Men Who Kill (Paperback)

It's been a few years since I read this, and some of it blurs a bit with time. As of the reading, my now ex-wife had believed she was in love with a gentleman doing life for the murder of his own wife. I felt a need to gain some understanding for this incredibly bizarre manifestation of her then current needs.

Although most of the analyses of the author as to cause did not seem at all applicable in our particular case, some things did stand out. I remember reading of the building excitement and anticipation visitors would feel about an upcoming visit and the feelings they experienced going into the instition and having the doors close behind them. Then comes that exultation of finally seeing their love 'across a crowded room', and having someone's undivided attention for a time was a reward. Inevitably, there was the exquisite pain of parting and being figuratively ripped from the loving grasp of one's partner and leaving them to the mercy of cruel guards and the other, truly guilty inmates.

My ex had been diagnosed with bi-polar disorder, and there seemed to be definite parallels to those happenings and needs experienced by those who experience addiction to the exciting highs and debilitating lows in living with that difficulty. For some reason, this insight helped me to realize enough about her needs and motives to recognize that I would never actually fully understand, and it would be futile to attempt to do so. This pretty much freed me get on with my own life, and I thank the author for helping with this insight.

If you read this hoping to gain some insights in a particular situation, it may possibly be of help. As I recall, the author did not explore in much detail some of the possible motives and needs of visitors. In my instance, I felt that she could have delved into such things as control issues; elimination of responsibility for others, both financially and emotionally; a quest for adventure/drama in ones' life; and even a few others. She deserves great credit and admiration for tackling a difficult and depressing subject and helping others understand what can go on in such incredibly bizarre circumstances. It isn't hard to extrapolate what loving families must go through as they also must pay for mistakes of incarcerated relatives and friends. While not a comprehensive treatise on a subject that would require volumes, the author's effort provides valuable insights and examples. And as much as we'd like to forget that others still share such circumstances, the fact is that they do. My hope is that the author's efforts still are able to bring readers a valuable measure of information and understanding, and, as in my case, a measure of peace. Personally, I'm very grateful to her. ~EdMac