Customer Reviews

Women Who Love Men Who Kill

5 star:		(4)
4 star:		(4)
3 star:		(2)
2 star:		(1)
1 star:		(4)

 

 

In my job as a social worker I have encountered women like the ones that Isenberg describes in her book. I found her book to be insightful and, although it reads like a page-turner, I find myself referring to it frequently in my work.

Women Who Love Men Who Kill is a fantastic read. It sheds enormous light on the lives of women who go to the edge and fall in love with murderers. They don't just fall in love with convicted killers, they support them, provide them with all their needs while in prison and advocate diligently for their release. The author generates profiles of these women and provides analytic insights about their motives. This is forensic science with a behavioral approach written for the lay person by a writer who knows her subject. The book is shocking, exciting and intense. It evokes the reader's concerns about how these things are possible. After reading this book you will know why.

It's been a few years since I read this, and some of it blurs a bit with time. As of the reading, my now ex-wife had believed she was in love with a gentleman doing life for the murder of his own wife. I felt a need to gain some understanding for this incredibly bizarre manifestation of her then current needs.

Although most of the analyses of the author as to cause did not seem at all applicable in our particular case, some things did stand out. I remember reading of the building excitement and anticipation visitors would feel about an upcoming visit and the feelings they experienced going into the instition and having the doors close behind them. Then comes that exultation of finally seeing their love 'across a crowded room', and having someone's undivided attention for a time was a reward. Inevitably, there was the exquisite pain of parting and being figuratively ripped from the loving grasp of one's partner and leaving them to the mercy of cruel guards and the other, truly guilty inmates.

My ex had been diagnosed with bi-polar disorder, and there seemed to be definite parallels to those happenings and needs experienced by those who experience addiction to the exciting highs and debilitating lows in living with that difficulty. For some reason, this insight helped me to realize enough about her needs and motives to recognize that I would never actually fully understand, and it would be futile to attempt to do so. This pretty much freed me get on with my own life, and I thank the author for helping with this insight.

If you read this hoping to gain some insights in a particular situation, it may possibly be of help. As I recall, the author did not explore in much detail some of the possible motives and needs of visitors. In my instance, I felt that she could have delved into such things as control issues; elimination of responsibility for others, both financially and emotionally; a quest for adventure/drama in ones' life; and even a few others. She deserves great credit and admiration for tackling a difficult and depressing subject and helping others understand what can go on in such incredibly bizarre circumstances. It isn't hard to extrapolate what loving families must go through as they also must pay for mistakes of incarcerated relatives and friends. While not a comprehensive treatise on a subject that would require volumes, the author's effort provides valuable insights and examples. And as much as we'd like to forget that others still share such circumstances, the fact is that they do. My hope is that the author's efforts still are able to bring readers a valuable measure of information and understanding, and, as in my case, a measure of peace. Personally, I'm very grateful to her. ~EdMac

Well,I am reading this book at the moment and I have to say that there are some strange accounts in here.There are women from all walks of life who fall for men in prison who have murdered and raped and some of the men even boast about it.Still, these women are convinced that their men are innocent (nudge,nudge,wink,wink),and I find myself reading over and over again stories of how these women fall for their 'innocent' partners. This book is interesting purely for the fact that there seem to be so many women falling for these monsters and even leaving their homes and children for these men.I wonder if these women would have so much understanding if it were one of their family that was raped,tortured and killed! Although this book is interesting,I still feel that we are only getting half of the analysis of these women and that the information is coming only from the author.Not enough background work and the author tends to repeat herself quite often.

The author is simplistic, repetitive, and amateurish. This book is already 12 years old. It would be interesting to go back and reinterview the case studies and
see how the women in the chapters are doing now...
Certainly needs to be updated.
One thing the author says is not true...that women who love men who kill...always believe their men are innocent. WRONG.
Sheila, go back and revisit these women and write WWLMWK part two!!!

Women who love men who kill by Sheila Isenberg is an unscientific, unprofessional attempt by the author to pathologize based on her own biases. It is obvious that her motive is to sensationalize and sell books. I suggest to readers interested in this subject that they read professional literature based on scientific research.

Looks great - newstate. Beside the discolored flap round the book - which can happen, for a book printed nearly 20 years ago - it's perfect.

Although the book is interesting to read for what it reveals about middle class (Isenbergs)unacknowledged limitations, her own unexamined frame of reference prevented her understanding much about her subject/s.

This is mostly a rehash of tired, condescending, "accepted truth" about women who are "contaminated" as far as the rest of society (and Isenberg) is concerned. She twists every story into an "example" of the rightness of her forgone conclusions about "these women." She couldn't really get past herself/her own non objective point of view and I'm not sure she even tried (or even realized she has limitations which are exposed in her writing and devalue the book's conclusions.)

As a result the book largely disrespects the women who were willing to reveal their lives honestly to her and adds nothing new except to reinforce society's ingrained prejudice toward them: a "cautionary tale" of the cruelty meted out to women who don't stay in line? And Isenberg's conclusion? "It's their own fault."

I'm sorry this book wasn't more orignial, since there is so little available on this subject.

The Prisoner's Wife is far better written, more thoughtful and more honest.

When I began reading "Women Who Love Men who Kill" I could not put the book down. I remember after reading the book, I was in shock about the way certain women could so easily fall in love with murderers. "Women Who Love Men who Kill" gave an emotinal yet unbiased perspective on the darker side of love. I highly recommend this book.

When I purchased this book I had seen a review of the author on Good Morning America. I thought the topic was weird, yet interesting, so I jumped on Amazon and ordered a copy. I have been reading this book now for a week and it's just OK. Literally. The subject matter is very interesting but it very repetitive. Although there are many women who fall in love and marry men who have killed, all their stories are similar. The author also repeats information she has stated over and over. There is a lot of insight on women in this state of mind, but it's not a book I would recommend.